


The Winter Creature

by BlaiddtheWolf



Series: The Winter Creature [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Animal Death, Cannibalism, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, Creature Fic, Gen, Help, I don't know what I'm doing, Minor Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Platonic Soulmates, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, The Winter Soldier - Freeform, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes, bucky is a monster guys, buckys not human so..., but not really, creature!bucky, little!steve, monster!bucky, pretty graphic description of bunny death, probably gonna get a little gory, sorry - Freeform, sort of, title is a work in progress, yeah it got gory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-21
Updated: 2016-12-29
Packaged: 2018-08-23 17:55:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 47,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8337253
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlaiddtheWolf/pseuds/BlaiddtheWolf
Summary: It was a story told to new recruits, of a creature hidden deep within Hydra, first captured in the Alps, now a metal armed assassin used for only the most important or viscous missions. Not many believed it to be true, but there are those who swear they have seen a creature with sharp claws and sharper teeth out of the corner of their eye.





	1. introduction

**Author's Note:**

> so i don't know if ill continue this at all. tell me if i should or not, and please give feedback!

The creature was captured in the alps, in a deep ravine were it was found injured and alone. At first thought to be an American soldier, abandoned and left for dead, it was soon discovered otherwise. As Hydra was dragging it across the snow, it woke up and killed three members of their party before they could subdue it again. Back at the base, the creature was kept in a cage until one man who was shown the creature knew what it was. He had heard stories of such creatures high in the mountains, picking off any who wandered across their path. The man called it a Lyudoyed. He had been told tales that such a monster could be controlled, if the right words were said. 

And so a team was dispatched to research anything they could of the Lyudoyed. In the meantime, the monster was kept in its cage and fed rats. It would let no one near it, and had killed four more agents before they found a safe way of feeding it. There was talk of just disposing of the creature, that keeping it ran a higher risk than reward. But others said destroying it would be to destroy a great potential weapon, that they need only find the passcode and they would have the best secret weapon Hydra could hope for. When the words to control the monster were found, those in hope for a new weapon stood around its cell as the first man who knew what the creature was began to read out the words. They were in a language none of them knew, but as the first words were said, the creature opened its mouth and snarled, baring its fangs and stretching the claws of its one hand. As the last words written on the notepaper were said, the creature shuddered and stood still, facing the man with the paper. “Ready to comply” There was shock throughout the room, as until now the creature had not spoken beyond grunts and growls. The room was silent for a few moments, and the words were spoken again in a rough voice, “Ready to comply” 

The creature, after ample testing, was given a new arm, a strong metal arm that could match its own strength and brutality. It was then trained, rather like an attack dog, to obey any commands given. The words worked to near perfection, but they only lasted a day before they seemed to wear off, and the creature would begin lashing out. Brutal punishment was given for any small disobedience and they began each session by strapping the creature to a chair and coursing electricity through its veins. The words to control it would then be said to a pliant and tired mind, making the effect of the words last longer. 

Over time the creature was trained in, and excelled at, any number of skills it may need when sent on missions for Hydra. It took to any weapon handed to it, needed no practice in any fighting style, and seemed to know any languages they attempted to teach it. The creature was fast, smart, strong, ruthless, and best of all, obedient. It was the perfect asset to Hydra. The more missions the thing is sent on, the clearer this becomes to its handlers. 

Such an asset could not be wasted. Not knowing the lifespan of such a creature, Hydra decided to only use the Lyudoyed for special missions, and constructed a chamber to make the monster sleep between missions. When not in use, the creature would be frozen, only to be woken when Hydra saw fit to use it again.


	2. mission

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> super duper short, next one is longer, this just didn't really fit in with the rest of the chapter

Between the missions, they feed the creature rats. Some of the agents enjoy watching the rat get ripped to shreds then swallowed down in a messy frenzy of blood and guts. They made a game of the reactions they could get from newly transferred agents at the sight of the creature feeding.

Sometimes Hydra let it fed itself when out on missions. It loved the thrill of a hunt, the feel of flesh between it claws, blood running down its throat, the taste, rich and coppery, hot and thick. So the creature fed itself from some of its kills. Its feedings was always messy and violent, viscera coating the walls, a shredded body left behind a testament to the creatures hunger and inhumanness.

This was a mission it would get such an opportunity. It was a simple kill mission, they were sending the creature because it needed to be brutal. They wanted this kill to be a message, to show others what happens when HYDRA is crossed. The creature looks forward to this mission. It has been a while since it has had a mission it could feed from, most of its recent kills had been done with a sniper rifle, the creatures skills rather than its brutality needed.

But the creature almost laughed when he was shown the picture of his prey. The man, well, boy really, was small. Ridiculously small. A small, skinny boy with a crooked back and pale skin, and this was who was causing HYDRA problems? The handlers did not tell the creature what the boy had done, and the creature would not ask, only obey.


	3. meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> steve meets the creature

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know how to structure these things. this is all i have written so it'll take a while for another chapter

steve

 

Steve looked up from his drawing and realized why it had become a bit harder to see. It was now the middle of the night. He thought about just turning on a light and continuing his piece, but it really was late, and he was tired, so Steve decided to call it a night. 

He got up out of his chair, a comfortable one he had saved up a while for, and stretched his hands above his head. He washed any graphite smudged on his hands in the bathroom before changing into his pajamas. 

Steve was about to crawl into his nest of blankets when a shadow flickered in the corner of his eye. He turned, slowly, and saw it again, lurking in the corner of his room by the door.

“Okay,” he called out softly, “whoever is here better get the fuck out now.” A soft grumble was all he got as a response. “Seriously,” he says, this time a bit firmer “out now or I call the police” Steve is slowly edging towards the phone plugged in next to his bed, his hand reaching out cautiously. Steve’s fingers just brush the cord of his phone when a weight is in front of him, pushing him up against the wall. In the darkness, Steve can just make out the outline of a figure, tall and muscled, the left arm that has him pushed against the wall by the chest gleaming in what little light is streaming in through the windows. 

A soft flat voice speaks from the shadowed being, “Why you?” Steve’s heart is pounding in his chest so hard he's sure the other man must feel it beating against his palm. “I don't understand” 

And then the other man has his entire body plastered against Steve’s, his head bent down so Steve can feel the other mans breath across his throat, and the man is taking deep breaths, seemingly smelling Steve. Steve tries to wriggle away from the mans face, to get distance between him and the mouth so close to his neck. “Why do my handlers want you dead?” 

Steve stopped his attempts to escape, instead whispers, “Wh-who are your handlers?” he feels the other man growl, feels it vibrate across his whole body as it rumbles deep in the other mans chest. the breath against his neck sharpens, and Steve feels the mans lips pull back, the flat of his teeth now pressed against his throat. Sharp teeth, long and pointed sharp teeth. The nails of the hand next to his face lengthen and sharpen into claws.

“Never mind, never mind, don't tell me.” Steve manages to get out, fearing the man’s (was it a man, or was this a thing, a creature?) reaction. The breath against his neck slows. Again he is asked, quieter this time, “Why are you my target?” 

creature

 

Normally the Lyudoyed would be done by now. The boy would be dead, blood and viscera coating the floor and walls, maybe a little bit missing, depending on whether the creature was hungry or not; and oh was it. The creature was starving, its stomach rumbling at the scent of flesh so close and so accessible. Its handlers had told it to kill, and to feed. The creature did not question its handlers. the creatures purpose was to serve it’s handlers, to follow their commands. But this boys scent reminded it of something, something warm and safe, making it a little easier to question, to disobey. The creature had not been warm and safe since before Hydra. It huddled even closer to the body in front of him, and questioned its prey. It stiffened and growled at the boys question about its handlers, but relaxed again soon with the targets voice. In a softer tone, the creature asks, “Why are you my target?” It did not want this boy to be a target, it liked his warm scent and deep voice. 

The target was still subtly trying to find a way out of the creatures grasp, trying to keep his neck away from its teeth. But the creature found that despite the fact it was hungry, it did not want to eat this small boy, so he it released its grasp and took a step back. Not a very big one, it still wanted to feel the mans warmth, but enough that he was no longer fully pressed against the target (former target?). 

steve

 

Steve felt the other man, creature, take a small step back, still dangerously close, but he could now breathe without his chest pressing against the others’. Steve looked up now, into the creatures face, and had to force himself to not look away. His, its, mouth was full of razor sharp teeth, reminiscent of a cats mouth, each tooth a needle. Its right hand ended in deadly claws, its left, as well as the whole arm, was shining metal. The things grey eyes were sunken in, dark, either looking straight at Steve or nowhere at all, he couldn't quite be sure behind the curtain of long brown hair that covered its gaunt face. 

“Why are you here?” Steve asked the monster, willing his voice to be firm. 

“You are my mission” the thing replies. 

“What kind of mission?” 

“Kill mission. Secondary instructions : Go for it, have fun. Make a mess” 

Steve shuddered not only at the words but at the way the monster says them, as if reciting instructions he had been given. Instructions to kill him, and to do it horribly. “And are you going to?” The creature before him made a considering noise. “I don't know yet.”

The monster leans in, and oh boy, those teeth are back against his neck, the words ‘make a mess’ running circles through his head. The thing presses its face deeper into Steve’s neck and inhales deeply. Steve tenses, expecting the teeth to rip into his throat but instead, he hears a strange rumbling coming from the creature. Purring. The creature is smelling Steve and purring. 

“Umm” Steve is not sure what to do. Surely purring is better than biting, but he has no clue what to do about it. 

 

creature

 

The creature purrs against the young mans neck, inhaling deeply and immersing itself into the boys comforting scent. It has decided it does not want to eat this boy, nor kill him. It would be perfectly content to continue standing here soaking in the boys warmth and smell, but the boy has started shifting uncomfortably, and it wants the small man to not be scared. It knows now that this boy is its, that the creature must keep him as comfortable as possible. the creature had found its любимец, and had no intention of letting him go. 

“Don’t be afraid anymore, I’m not going to hurt you.” it purrs against the mans neck. It hears the man, (what was his name?) give a small disbelieving snort. 

“Yeah, and why not?” The creature pulls back far enough to to look into the mans blue eyes. “You smell good; you're mine now. I’ll keep you safe.” it sees the mans eyes widen, a confused and frightened look on his face. “And what will Hydra think of that, you not killing me because I,” he gulps “Because I smell good?” his former target asks. The creature snarls, Hydra can not be allowed near his person, they would kill him. The creature has not disobeyed its handlers in decades, the words and fear of punishment keeping him from disobedience. But for its new human, it would. It will disobey Hydras command to kill him, it will protect him from Hydra. 

It does not realize it is still growling until it feels the boy flinch. It conceals its teeth again, still not wanting to frighten its new person. The creature will protect this man, it will keep him from all harm, Hydra included.


	4. confrentation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> steve has a temper and hydra messes shit up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i may have done nothing today but this. sue me, I'm unproductive in my life. and i guess you shall all be plagued short chapters till i come back and beef these up. maybe

steve

 

The creature locked Steve in his room so it could check around the perimeter of his house to make sure none of its handlers were watching him. Steve sat on his bed, wondering what the creature wants from him, or what it meant when it said ‘you’re mine now’. Was he now this monsters pet? It was possible, and there wasn't much Steve could physically do if this being decided it owned him. The monster was demonstrably strong, and the metal arm appeared to be something not to be trifled with. Not to mention the teeth and claws. Can’t forget those.

When the creature came back, its mouth was covered in blood. Steve couldn't help but stare with his mouth gaping as the creature walked over to the bed and flopped down next to him with a small satisfied smile on its face. It turned its head so it was facing Steve, blood dripping down its face onto a growing stain on Steve's sheets. Steve cringed as the monsters tongue swiped around its lips to catch the dripping blood. When its mouth was open, Steve could see small bits of flesh stuck between its teeth. 

“What uh, what did you do?” Steve asked in a hesitant tone, kind of not wanting to know the answer, but curious all the same. 

“My handler was coming. They knew something was going wrong. They would have killed you. And I was hungry, I was supposed to eat on this mission.” Steve did not like that answer, and wished very much he had not asked. The thing that was laying in his bed next him with a smile on his face had just killed someone… and then ate them. This monster had killed and eaten someone while Steve was sitting in his room. And then of course there was the information that had he not smelled nice to this creature, he was the one that would had been eaten. His mind couldn't help but wander to a scene of his body strewn in multiple pieces across his room, bits of it missing as the metal armed creature beside him devoured him. Steve realized he had started crying and found himself surrounded in a firm hug, one that would be comforting if it was not given by the creature that had just said it had been going to eat him. “Do not worry, любимец, I will not eat you. You are safe. Hush, you are safe, I will keep you safe” The creature crooned to him, not making him feel at all better. 

By the time he had stopped crying, the creature was simply purring in his ear, rocking him a little bit. “There,” the creature said “do you feel better now?” 

That sparked something in Steve. “Do I feel better now? No. No I do not feel better now. A fucking monster breaks into my home with the intent to kill me, then eat me, but then decides I smell good so nah, it wont eat me, it’ll just keep me as a pet, ‘cus oh that’s so much better! Then it goes outside after locking me in my room, kills and eats someone else because it wouldn't eat me, then it gets blood all over my sheets” he knows that shouldn't be a priority right now, but cut him some slack, he’s a bit hysterical “and you're asking me of I'm better now?! No, I'm not. I'm terrified, and pissed off, and a whole lot of other emotions I can’t quite put a name to because I'm to scared to think about much else than the man eating monster thats sitting in my bed right-” he doesn't get to finish his rant as he is roughly shoved into his mattress and has a snarling monster looming over him.

the creature

 

How dare he! The creature spares his life and this is how it is repaid. Perhaps it should eat him, perhaps it can still go back to Hydra. It would be punished, severely, but it is wanted there, unlike by this ungrateful pest. Perhaps this wasn’t it’s любимец, perhaps the creature had been mistaken. And the creature hardly ate any of its handler, merely enough to keep it from being too hungry to be around this man without feeling the need to rip his throat out. But it was still hungry. Maybe it should just finish its mission. 

The creature leans down to bite out its preys throat, but the boys small whimpers cut through its haze of fury. It takes a deep breath and the young mans warm scent fills its nose. Warm and safe. The right scent, the scent that means the boy belongs to him. Humans do not think clearly when they are scared. They say stupid things and the creature should not take what he says to heart. Yes. These are just the words of a frightened human a situation it never dreamed of being possible. The creature can forgive him of the insults he has been payed, he can forgive his любимец.   
steve

 

This how he dies. He will be ripped apart by a monster he pissed off because he couldn't keep his fucking mouth shut and let his temper and fear get the best of him. The creature lunges down and Steve can feel its teeth at his neck and he cant help the whimper that escapes him. But the creature stops. Its teeth are still just the slightest bit of pressure away from breaking skin, but instead of biting down it has paused and is taking deep breaths. Smelling him again. Did he really smell that good? Would his scent save his life? Again? Should he never take another shower again or take more showers? What would keep this monster appeased? 

Steve was thinking frantically of what to do that would save his own life, but really, how could he even begin to imagine a way to save himself from a creature no-one knows exists. What even is this monster? Vampire is the first thought that pops into his head, but vampires don't eat the flesh of their victims. Then again, what does it matter what the creature is? It has Steve, whether that is to be as a pet of some sort or a meal for later on, and seems to have no intention of letting him go. 

Part of him hopes Natasha or Sam will come bursting in, save him, but another part of his brain knows they would just be slaughtered, military training or no. Steve knows Natasha is part of a special organization, and maybe she would last a little while against it, but the creature has a fucking metal arm. And then Steve would have to watch the creature eat his friends, because while he might try to fight for his friends lives, he knew there was really nothing he could do.

the creature

 

The creature continued to check out the window for more Hydra agents coming to fetch it, but so far none have come after it. They probably found the one he had killed and were planning how to best proceed with a rouge Lyudoyed. The creature knew he and the boy needed to get moving if they wanted to stay ahead of Hydra. 

“What are you?” its любимец asks, cutting through the creatures thoughts. “because I'm pretty sure you are not human, so…” he trails off. 

“A lyudoyed is what they called me in Russia. The americans call me a wendigo, but we at home never named ourselves. i like lyudoyed.” the creature says. His human nods, as if he understands. The creature tilts its head, studying the man, but its stomach growls. It hadn't had time to eat its fill from its previous handler, and it really didn't want to be hungry and have only it’s new person around. The creature wasn't known for self control. So while it knew it needed to get away with its любимец as soon possible, it was also getting to be very hungry. If it could just get one Hydra agent… 

There was a loud crash as the front door was kicked in. Damn it, now the creature had no choice. Over his protesting, the creature shoved the boy into his closet and closed the door. His safety was priority. 

The creature heard five sets of foot steps. Pathetic. Unless… but no, low level Hydra agents were not privy to its words, and it had killed its handler. But it would still need to be careful, had to get this done quickly. the creature went to the door and and pressed itself against the wall next to it, hiding it from the of anyone who came through the door. As the first one passed the threshold, the creature reached out and grabbed him, pulling him close and snapping his neck. Not much fun, but quick. 

By the time the creature has dropped the body of the first agent, the second and third have rushed through the door. It reaches out and slashes the third ones throat with its claws, slicing through the veins on each side of his neck and ripping open his trachea. The man collapses, gargling blood out of his throat and from his mouth. The second agent whips around and points her gun straight at the creature, who bats it away and pulls her into a choke hold, holding her body against its as a shield as the fourth and fifth agent come through the door shooting. All the bullets hit the agent in front of it and the creature lets go of her body when a pause in the gunfire gives it the opportunity to snap the fourths neck. The creature grabs the fifth agents hands and pins them behind his body and slams his front against the wall with a snarl. 

“Asset! What do you think you are doing?! You belong to Hydra!” The agent shouts against the wall. The creature purrs, “Not anymore” and then sinks its teeth into the man shoulder. The man tries to scream as the creature rips a chunk of flesh off his body, but the creature places its metal hand over the mans mouth, and swallows. 

The creature purrs deep in its chest, it loves when the meat still quivers as it slides down his throat. Not wanting the agent to die quite yet (prey is so much more satisfying alive than dead) the creature continues to take bites from the mans shoulder and arm, till he's down to the bone, then he flips the agent around and tears off his tactical vest with its claws and starts eating the mans chest. About halfway through the shoulder, the man had passed out, and was close to dying from blood loss. When the creatures stomach is full, it lets the man slide down the wall, leaving a thick bloody smear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> любимец - pet, darling, or favorite. At least that's what Google says


	5. flight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> steve almost throws up and sam is confused

steve

Steve pokes his head of the closet door after the gunshots cease, in time to see the creature snap the neck of one of the men that had broken into his house. At its feet were three other bodies, in varying states of dismemberment. He looks up to see the creature pin the last man to the wall, yelling at the creature, who is apparently called the Asset. Steve can not hear what the creature whispers into the mans ear, but he can very clearly see the creature rips a chunk of the mans shoulder out with it teeth… and then swallow it.

Steve gagged, almost throwing up. It was one thing to know that the creature he had been held captive by for most of the night had eaten someone, but it was very different to see it. He couldn't help but watch as it devoured the mans shoulder and bicep before flipping him around starting on his chest. By the time the creature had let the body fall to the floor, Steve’s legs had given out and he was on the floor with silent tears streaming down his face. He was now very very glad neither of his friends had come to rescue him.

Steve is still crying on the floor when he sees boots come into his line of vision. He closes his eyes, not wanting to look at the monster when it would have blood on its face and flesh in its teeth. “любимец, you are safe now. They can not harm you any more.” The creature tries to pull Steve to his bloody chest, but he pushes away.

the creature

Its любимец does not want to be touched now. The creature is almost angry again, but remembers that this is all new to its boy, that the human cant be expected to immediately be okay with what and how the creature eats. It remembers the horror and disgust on many of Hydra agents faces when they first see him rip into a rat (a dissatisfying, disgusting, small rat; never enough of a meal to fully satisfy him), and considers that this small human had never been exposed to anything horrible. It hurts a little that the young man is cared of it, but it will gain his trust.

What the creature has to think about now is how to keep the boy safe. if they stay here, more Hydra agents will come, and the creature can not fend off them all. They would send more agents, another handler that knows his words, and they will kill its human, or worse, make the creature kill him. No, they have to leave, now, so the creature picks the boy up and places him on his feet.

Outside there are the cars the hydra agents came in, so the creature leads the boy out of the house and into one of the cars. It goes through the car, pulling off all the trackers and smashing the gps. It walks to the passenger side of the car to make sure its person is locked in, and sees another car drive up to Steve's apartment building.

steve

Steve is led outside his broken door and put into a black car that was parked outside of his apartment building. Looking up at the sky, Steve could see the sun over the line buildings in front of him. Everything that happened and it appeared to be only 7:00. 7:00… Shit. Shit shit shit shit. Sam. Steve and Sam were gonna go out to Sam's favorite breakfast place he's been wanting Steve to try for months now. Steve prays that Sam will be late. For once please be late, just for once. But no, Steve sees Sam’s car pulling up to his apartment building as the creature is closing the passenger door.

Steve looks out of the car window at Sam as he walks up to Steve’s door and stops to look around in a panic at the sight of the smashed down door. “Steve? Steve!” Sam spots the creature getting into the car and Steve in the passenger seat and starts toward the car. The creature sees Sam jogging towards them and starts growling. Steve frantically grabs the creatures arm to stop it from getting out of the car and killing his friend. “No! Don't hurt him, he's my friend!”

“We have to go.” the creature grunts, no longer getting out of the car but still growling

“Okay. Okay fine, but you cant hurt him.”

“How else are going to go without him trying to stop us?” The creature goes to get out of the car agin, but Steve tugged on his arm harder, knowing that if this creature really wanted to get out of the car, there would be no stopping him.

“I’ll get rid of him, you don't need to hurt him! Please!” The creature, pauses, considers, looks out the window to where Sam is nearly to the car, and nods. “Thank you”

Sam has reached Steve's window, who has rolled it down and poked his head out. “Man what the hell happened? Are you okay? Where are you going and who the hell Mr.Creepy over there?”

“Sam! Hey, uh, yeah I'm fine. My house was broken into last night. I'm okay, but I kinda got scared so my… boyfriend, uh, Bucky, came over. We’re gonna go over to his place for a while.” Steve tries to explain, pausing a little when having to make an excuse for the creature, well, Bucky he guesses now. He has no idea where that name came from, it was just the first one that popped into his head.

“Bucky huh? And since when do you have a boyfriend man? Are you sure you're ok?” Sam questioned with disbelief in his voice.

“Yeah, I'm okay, I just need some time with Bucky if that’s okay. I know we were gonna go get breakfast, I'm really sorry.”

“It’s alright, whatever you need. Just stay safe alright?”

“Of course, I’ll see you later Sam”

“Alright, bye” Sam turned around and went back to his car, casting occasional glances over his shoulder as …Bucky… started the car and pulled into the street and started driving.

the creature

The creature watches as the other man walks away. He still doesn't like letting him live, but his любимец had been distraught, and it knew that if it killed his friend, it would never gain his trust, could never keep him safe. So it had sat in the car while Steve, that was his name, Steve, had talked to his friend, when all it wanted to do was rip his throat out. That would have been the sensible thing to do, then he couldn't lead Hydra to it and Steve, whether it be willing or not. But it would try to keep its Steve happy, and if that meant taking a few more risks, well, the creature would be hungry again at some point.

“Um, what is your actual name?” The creature looks briefly at Steve before returning his gaze to the road. “I don't have one” it confessed. The creature sees Steve look down at his lap,

“Is it alright that i call you Bucky, its just, I have nothing else to call you, and it was the first name that popped into my head.” The creature considers the possibility of having a name. A real name, not ‘asset’ or ‘creature’. It finds it quite likes the idea of having a name, something that is its that no one can take away. And it found it seemed right that its Steve should give it its name. Bucky. It was a strange name, but not a horrible one. Better than ‘creature’ anyway. “Yes. You can call me Bucky”

The crea-, Bucky, considers its options for where to go. Most of the places it could think to go were Hydra safe houses.But it remembered one target, one he had hid from for a while before killing, had been talking about a cabin he owned off the books a little ways into a forest not far from where Steve lived. A cabin would be good, a little off Hydras radar, as none of the agents or handlers had been present. Decision made, the cre-, Bucky, set the route in its head to the cabin, now its own safe house.

Bucky felt good. It had its Steve,who smelt of warmth and safety; it had a name, one of its very own that had been given to him by his любимец; and it had a safe house, one that was safe from Hydra. It was a good start.


	6. safehouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> steve needs to pee and the cabin is stocked for the apocalypse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really really love the comments I'm getting. they keep me going with this and help me figure out what I'm gonna write next. so thank you

steve

Steve rested his head on the car window, watching as buildings gave way to trees on their way to who knows where. Well, Bucky knew, but had neglected to share that information with Steve. And really why would he? You don't tell a pet where its going when it gets in the car. And Steve thinks thats what he is to Bucky. A pet to be coddled and taken care of, punished when it steps out of line, such as when Steve had gone off on his rant then nearly had his throat ripped out. That was an experience Steve hoped to never repeat, and didn't that just mean he had been trained? Then again, it was Steve that had named Bucky.

Steve is pulled out his musings as the car turns onto a dirt road. They're somewhere Steve doesn't think he's ever been, as Steve tended to stick to the city, not ever wanting to wander through the woods; wandering through the city was exciting enough for him. He was now regretting that a bit, as he would really like to know where he was. Steve does not like the feeling of dissimilarity that has taken over him. he was in a strange car with a strange person… creature…thing… and now in a strange place he had never been before far from the place he called home.

Steve wondered if Sam would come looking for him after a few days, and if he's told Natasha about what happened. Natasha was always more suspicious about things and probably would start looking for him sooner, and he doubts she would have let Steve be driven away with a strange man she’d never been told about in the first place. But it was Sam that had seen him with Bucky, and there wasn't much Steve could do now.

He wished he had tried to grab his phone when they were still at his house, though he doubts Bucky would have let him keep it. It still would have been nice to be able to contact his friends, though he couldn't make up his mind whether it would be to ease their worries or to ask for help. The selfish part of wanted nothing more than his friends to come to his rescue, but the more logical part of him knew it would never work, and would only leave him with dead friends and a pissed off monster.

Steve sees a small cabin down a gravel driveway off the dirt road a little ways, and hopes this is their final destination, as his butt is getting sore and it was nearly night again (Bucky had tossed him a supply of protein bars and water bottles halfway through the day) and Steve really needed to use the bathroom.

Steve looked up at Bucky “Is this where we’re stopping?” he asked it. All he got was a nod in return, Bucky scanning the area around the cabin, probably for more hydra agents. Steve prayed there were none, he knew hydra wanted him dead, and he really didn't want to see the creature kill again.

Bucky

Bucky pulled up to the front of the house, scanning around the small cabin for anything suspicious. There were no other cars, and the cabin certainly looked abandoned, though it knew that that was hardly a hard thing to fake. It stepped out the car, “You stay here, I'm going to make sure everything is safe”  

“So you're just gonna leave me in here?” Steve protests. “Yes. Stay here, the car is bullet proof, you'll be safe.”

“I’m gonna pee my pants but at least ill be safe” Steve mutters sarcastically. And then Bucky walking towards the the house, eyes peeled for anything that could be a trap. Once he confirms the immediate perimeter is clear, he steps into the house, carefully opening the door and stepping over the threshold. It takes him ten minutes to thoroughly examine the small cabin before he returns outside to his pouting human.

It opens the car door, “The bathroom is the second door down the hall to the right” Steve is out of the car and practically running towards the cabin. Bucky follows at a slower pace after grabbing supplies from the trunk of the car, the protein bars, water bottles, guns and knives. Steve was back in the front room when Bucky steps through the door.

“The water works” Steve says shaking out his hands, “but theres no towels in the bathroom.” Bucky frowns. Is that really a priority? It supposes it can get towels, but that would mean leaving its любимец alone. However, Bucky will need to get supplies at some point, the human cant survive only on water and protein bars. Well, he could, but it wouldn't be the healthiest thing. But where does it go to get these things? As the asset, Bucky was always provided food, which was really only rats. What does a human need? Its ripped apart plenty of humans, but it cant say its ever examined their stomach contents. Bucky supposes it should ask Steve.

Steve

“What do you eat?” Steve turns around to look at Bucky, a little surprised at the question. “Well, i cant really afford much, so a lot of cereal and sandwiches I guess. Canned soup, uh, I don't know, ill eat pretty much whatever.” Steve thinks about his sentence for a moment. “Not people! I-I don't eat people!” Bucky has a frown on its face and its brow is furrowed as if it cant place the words Steve is saying. “Why?” he asks after a few seconds of silence from Bucky.

“I need to feed you, I just don't really know what humans eat.” Bucky explains. Oh boy, he's being talked about like a pet again. Not a very well kept pet if it doesn't even know what to feed him.

“Well, lets see whats in the house already, and go from there, yeah?” Steve walks to the kitchen and begins opening cabinets. Everything was full. Canned soup (the good stuff!), ramen, canned vegetables and fruits, bags of nuts and beans, enough food to last one person a year at least. Then he found the pantry “Oh my god, is the person that owns this place one of those apocalypse nuts?” he joked.

“He was.” was the monotone answer he got from Bucky. “Oh, I, uh, I was joking…” Wait, was? No, never mind that thought, he did not want to know.

Steve looked back at the pantry, then at the open cabinets. “Well, you don't have to worry about food for me. This would last a good long while. Um,” Steve pauses, not sure how to word his next line of questioning, “how long am I staying here? Uh, with you.”

Bucky

Bucky whined. It did not like that question. It implied that his Steve wanted to leave. He could not let Steve leave, if he left he would be killed by Hydra, and if he was killed than the creature could longer smell warmth and safety. As well, it has grown to like the human, beyond just how he smelled. No, its person could not leave.

Bucky steps forward to pull Steve against himself and sticks his nose into Steve's hair. “You can not leave любимец.” Bucky mutters into Steve’s hair. “You can’t leave me.” It feels Steve shiver a little. He must be cold.

Steve

 

“You cant leave me.” So he truly is to be kept as a pet, a prisoner. There was no way the creature currently breathing into his hair was going to just let him go. He shivers a bit at the thought that he may be stuck with this monster forever. 

“Im kinda tired, can I go to bed?” Bucky lets go of him and leads him down a hallway to a bedroom with a big bed and really nice looking blankets. Bucky directs him to the bed and pulls back the covers as one would do for a small child. To tired to protest, Steve climbs into the bed and pulls the blankets up to his chin. Bucky moves around to the other side of the bed and pulls off first his jacket, then shirt, and finally his boots and pants, leaving Steve staring at the creatures shoulder. The metal of the arm appears almost melded to flesh of his chest, an angry looking scar wrapping around the whole thing. As well, Bucky looks emaciated, well muscled, but skinny like it hasn't had proper food in months. Who knows how long it had been since the creature had eaten before eating the man from his house. 

Steve is still staring at Bucky as it climbs into the bed. He tries to not shy away when Bucky climbs into the bed next to him and practically wraps itself around him, arms pulling him close to the creatures chest and nose firmly pressed into Steve’s neck. Exhausted, Steve falls asleep to the sound of Bucky purring.


	7. nightmares and oatmeal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky has a nightmare and steve finds something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short and boring chapter, but i promise more action in the next chapter

Bucky

_The creature awoke cold, confined in its coffin. It blinked slowly, waiting for the temperature to rise and its handlers to come and fetch it. When its box had warmed up to what would be considered only freezing rather than bone-chilling, the door was wrenched open and the creature pulled out. Too stiff from the cold to resist, it's dragged limply across the room and strapped into the Chair. Finally warming up enough to move, the creature snarled at those who came close to it. A technician walked up to it and shoved a rubber bite guard into its mouth, cutting off its growls and covering its teeth. The creature glared and stretched the claws on its right hand, letting them lengthen and sharpen, creating little scratches where its hand was strapped to the Chair. The left hand whirred and creaked, its metal fingers clenching. The technicians pulled the Chair’s headpiece over the creatures face and stepped back, flipping a few switches to turn on the chair. Electricity flowed through the creature, each muscle seizing and the creature screams around its bite guard. Once the Chair has ceased its tortures, the creature slumps as far the restraints will let it. A doctor leans over the shuddering creature, checking vitals. Another man comes forward and begins reciting words from an ancient language, words to wrap themselves around the creatures soul, to control its mind and body. As the man finished his chant, the creature shuddered, “Ready to comply”_

The creature awakes from its dream, shivering and softly whining. But no, its not cold or confined, not in its tank. There is no chair, no handlers, no words. It smiles and purrs, wrapping itself further around the source of the warmth next to it. Warmth and safety. Its любимец. Yes. Bucky is warm and safe with its любимец, its Steve.

steve

Steve wakes up suddenly, constricted and too warm. He feels whatever wrapped around him pull tighter, hears the deep rumbling purr, and remembers what happened. Kidnapped by man eating monster. Alright, he can work with that, he's got this. Bucky moves and he can feel the metal arm pull him tighter to the creatures chest, and Bucky smiles against the the back of Steve’s neck, revealing sharp teeth that press against his skin. He don't got this.

Bucky must feel him wake up, because it pulls back a little, “Are you hungry?” it asks. and Steve finds that yes, he is hungry, and nods. Bucky climbs out of the bed and gathers Steve up into its arms.

“What are you doing? No, put me down, I can walk on my own!” Steve protests. Bucky huffs, but puts Steve down. They walk to the kitchen after bucky puts his clothes back on where Steve rummages through the cabinets till he finds oatmeal and sets a pot of water on the stove to boil.

“Do you want some?” he asks Bucky, who makes a face that Steve might make if he were offered a rat. Steve shrugged and looks around the cabinets some more till he finds brown sugar and sets it on the counter next to a bowl he had gotten out. There was no butter or any other perishables, so he would have to do without it or milk. He doesn't think Bucky is the kind to go grocery shopping, so canned food it is for a while he supposes. at least until he can find a way out.

“Are, uh” he's probably going to regret asking this, but he regrets so many thing from the last day and a half, whats one more, “Are you hungry?” Bucky turns from where it was watching the pot of water (‘a watched pot never boils’ his brain supplies helpfully), and tilts its head. “ A little, but I’ll be fine for a while, I ate a lot yesterday. Usually Hydra only gives me a rat every few days”

“Oh. Okay” Steve is not quite sure what he wanted from that question, maybe he was hoping Bucky only had to eat once a year or something ridiculous like that. And rats? Was that what Hydra fed Bucky? No wonder it ate its handler and that other agent, they kinda deserved it.

Oh my god did that thought really just go through his head? He was normalizing this in his mind, making a man eating monster an acceptable thing to factor into his life. Fuck. No, this was not what he should be doing. He should be running, he should be… shit he should be not letting his water boil over as he's having an internal crisis.

He runs over to the pot that Bucky is still watching just spew boiling water everywhere, the asshole, and turns down the burner. the water calms and he adds the oatmeal, and makes sure to stay with it this time so he doesn't burn his breakfast. Because he doesn't need one more disaster in his life right now, and burning oatmeal is definitely a disaster. ‘cant burn the fucking oatmeal’ he thinks.

Once the oatmeal is done he pours it into a bowl and heaps a generous portion of brown sugar onto the top. Don't judge, he needs something good in his life right now, screw healthy. He sits down at the table and Bucky sits next to him, scooting its chair until it can press up against Steve. Its a little uncomfortable, trying to eat with a big creature hanging off his side, but he manages.

He feels Bucky sigh, “I have to check the wide perimeter today, will you be okay by yourself?” Steve nods with a mouthful of oatmeal. Bucky gets up and walks out the door.

He wonders if this would be a good time to make a break for it, while Bucky is gone. But he doesn't know where he is and he's positive Bucky would catch up with him, and then he would be stuck in a cabin with a pissed of monster, so he decides to explore the small house. Not very much was exciting; one bathroom, the room they slept in and a tiny guest room, a hall closet, the kitchen and dining room connected to a small living room with a fireplace. But what was exciting was in the guest room. A phone.


	8. phones and showers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky discovers warm showers and art and steve makes a phone call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> did i say there would be action in this chapter? haha i lied

steve

Steve almost jumped up and down in excitement, a phone! He could call for help. He could call for help and he would be free. But not right now, he didn't know when Bucky would be back, and he didn't want it walking him on him on the phone with someone who could take him away. No, he would maybe wait until Bucky made the next perimeter check, which would either be tonight or tomorrow, depending on how paranoid Bucky was getting. He could wait. Instead, Steve walked out to the living room and sat on the couch, tucking his feet under him and wishing he could have a sketchbook. He'd do a more thorough search of the house later, see if there was any paper and pencils, even pens would work, though they weren't his favorite medium to draw with. Anything was better than nothing. anything to take his mind off the fact he was being held hostage by a man-eating monster. Steve hears the front door open again and is glad he didn't make the call right now, he couldn't have had a very long conversation. He turns to look at Bucky, ask him if he found anything, but stops when he sees him. Yet again his mouth is covered in blood. “Do we need to leave?” Steve asks, praying not, “Did Hydra find us again?” “No, you are safe” Bucky responded. “Well uh, why you got blood on you then?” Again, he needs to stop asking these question, he never likes the answer. Bucky gives a satisfied purr, “I found breakfast” “Oh, um, okay then” he pauses, don't ask more Steve, “Was it a person?” Dammit Steve. “No, I found an animal. Not sure what it was though.” Oh well thats comforting. Then again, it sort of is, at least it wasn't a person. But it ate something and it didn't know what it was? Gross. Because the whole ‘eating raw meat that is occasionally human’ wasn't gross enough. He's going need so much therapy after this. Hopefully there is an after this. “Okay, well, I want a shower. Steve says standing up. “I found towels and soap in the hall closet, and clothes I think might actually fit me in the closet in the bedroom, so I’ll just be a little bit.” 

bucky

Bucky watches as Steve walks down the hall to the bedroom to get the clothes and towels he must have pulled out while Bucky was gone, then shuffle into the bathroom and close the door behind him. Bucky stands next to the couch for a moment, wondering what to do. It never had time it was doing nothing with Hydra, and Bucky wasn't quite sure what to do with nothing to occupy its time with. So it sits on the couch and waits for its любимец to finish his shower. It wonders if the shower here is anything like the one with Hydra, a blast of frigid water and soap scrubbed onto its body with uncaring hands. Bucky hopes not, because it needs a shower too. Two days worth of blood and dirt accumulated on his face and body, and the arm needed to be cleaned routinely to continue working at optimal levels. Bucky gets up and grabs the maintenance kit it brought in from the car with the other supplies. It sits at the kitchen table with the kit and begins working on the arm, cleaning the surface and grooves, tightening plates and wires that have come loose, and scrubbing dried blood from the finger joints.  
By the time Bucky is nearly done with the arm, Steve has come out of the shower in clothes a little too big for him and is sitting across the table from it watching as Bucky finishes up on replacing the last of the plates on the arm. It lifts the arm off the table and moves it around, testing mobility and reactivity. Once satisfied that it had done a good job, Bucky walks over to Steve and leans over him, sticking his nose into the young mans hair and inhaling deeply. The soap has a nice neutral smell that doesn't interfere with Steve’s own. Steve is tense beneath it, but has not tried to pull away from the creature, so it continues breathing in the mans scent. It eventually pulls away so it can take its own shower, grabbing a towel and the biggest shirt and pants he could find and closes the bathroom door behind him.

steve

Steve hears the water in the bathroom start and after a moment, Bucky starts purring. It must like showers. Maybe it never got a proper shower with Hydra. They seemed like the kind of people that would strip the creature down and hose it off, so Steve supposes that a warm shower would be worth the loud purrs he hears from the bathroom.  
He wonders if he should make the phone call now. Well, he should probably check that the phone is working at the very least. So he stands up and walks to the guest bedroom on the other side of the cabin and stands in front of the phone. Pausing to make sure he still hears the water running, Steve picks up the phone from its receiver and places it against his ear. Yes! Yes yes yes yes! Steve hears a dial tone. Steve stops again to listen for water, but no, Steve hears the water shut off; he wont have time to make the call now. Frantic, he rummages through the drawers of the nightstand and the desk in the corner. He finds what he's looking for as he hears the bathroom door open.

 

Bucky

As Bucky steps out of the bathroom (it forgot how good clean feels), he sees Steve step into the living room from the guest room. Tilting its head it calls out to Steve, “What were you doing in there?” Steve smiles brightly; and Bucky needs to see that smile again, that smile that lit up the whole room, and he holds out a small stack of blank paper and a pencil.  
“I found this!” he says cheerfully, “I’ve been wanting to draw all day, which, I know, it’s still morning, but my point still stands, I've been wanting to draw so I decided to look for paper and pencils and ta daa!” Steve flaps the paper around a bit.  
Bucky smiles “You draw?” Steve nods, “Yeah, its what i was doing when…uh, you showed up, um yesterday, wait no, two days ago? Technically yesterday but it was really early in the morning” Bucky takes a step forward, because its Steve is not smiling anymore. It wants Steve to smile again, so Bucky wraps itself around its любимец and pets his hair. Steve tenses, and it almost feels like he wants to pull away, and Bucky thinks he's probably still not smiling. 

steve

 

Was this going to be a theme? Whenever Steve frowns he gets embraced by this monster? He wants desperately to pull away, to run and hide, but he doesn't think that will end well. So instead he stays put, plays the good little pet, hoping for a chance to get away. 

After a minute or so, Bucky pulls away and looks at him. “You need to smile more.” it says, then runs a clawed hand gently down the side of Steves face. Steve swallows, not quite knowing what to do.

“I’m sorry.” he tries. The creature in front of him just tilts its head, as if debating his offered apology, then nods. 

Steve pulls away carefully and goes to the kitchen table with his paper and pencil. He sits at the table and puts the stack of paper to one side, and pulls a single piece in front of him. He begins sketching, starting with rough circles and then fleshing them out into random animals, a horse here, a dog there, pulling his mind from his current situation. Bucky comes and instead of sitting on a chair kneels across from him, arms on the table, watching Steve. Steve can't help but look at the creatures arm. It was beautiful, in a way, but Steve also knows what that arm is capable of, adding a sense of danger to it as well.

Unable to resist, Steve slides over another piece of paper and begins drawing the arm. he starts with quick lines to map out its position and flow, then moves to add structure to the arm, making it look like an actual arm instead of a bunch of lines only he would understand. when he is done with that, he begins to add the lines for the plates, shading as he goes. While drawing, he is looking from his paper to the arm, but very carefully never looks at Bucky’s face. When Steve is done, he finally looks up. Bucky is watching him with a curious look on his face, looking first at the drawing then at its own arm. After a few glances between the two, Bucky begins to purr softly. Steve slides the drawing over to Bucky. Bucky reaches out and takes it, looking carefully at the picture, looking again at its own arm. It was funny, really. 

“You can keep it, if you want.” Steve offers. Bucky looks up with wide eyes and slowly scoots the picture closer to itself, then quickly snatches it up and tucks it against its chest, purring. Steve cant help but give a little smile, which makes the creature across from him purr all the more. 

bucky

 

Bucky holds the drawing against itself and purrs. It had watched as its любимец had drawn, turning the blank sheet of paper into a near perfect image of the arm. 

Bucky never had occasion to appreciate art with Hydra, and hardly knew what art was before that. On missions, the creature would see paintings and drawings hung on walls, whether they be professional masterpieces or children’s finger paintings, but it had never seen art being made. Not while it was interested anyway. It had watched Steve for quite a while before moving from its hiding spot, had seen the piece he had been working on, but it was on a mission then, no time to appreciate what was being created. 

But now it could. So it did. It pulls the art away from its chest and looks at it again before placing the picture on the empty fridge with a magnet, like he had seen in other houses. He looks over at Steve, who is shaking his head but smiling.

steve

 

Bucky put the picture on the fridge. Steve couldn't help but smile, his drawing was now presented proudly like a child’s scribbles. Where had Bucky learned that? Steve didn't feel like pinning drawings up on fridges is what Hydra trained its monster assassins to do. Oh right, its job was to… Bucky broke into houses and killed people, it had probably been to houses with kids…god Steve hoped Bucky hadn't eaten any children. The grin slipped off his face. Right, this was a not human being that had put his drawing up, it was an inhuman creature that possibly ate children. Steve thumps his head down onto the table. God he needs to get out of here and away from Bucky. 

They spend the rest of the day at the kitchen table, Steve drawing and Bucky watching. around noon Steve makes himself a bowl of noodles, then goes back to drawing. The next week passes in much the same fashion. Steve and Bucky would get up, Steve makes himself breakfast, art, lunch, more art, dinner, more art, bedtime. By the end of the week Steve had a stack of art an inch thick. Steve has Bucky tell him about Hydra, what their goal is, how they operate, what Buckys role with them was, and in return Steve tells it about himself. His art, his family, his friends. Bucky is able figure out why Hydra wants Steve dead; Natasha is a SHIELD agent, and so they want to kill Steve to get to her, she herself being too hard to kill. Steve also asks more about Bucky itself, what it is (lyudoyed), it’s real name (doesn't have one), what it was like to be with Hydra (he just got a growl at that), how often it eats (whenever it’s fed). Bucky hadn't eaten at all during the week, telling Steve it wasn't hungry, had eaten enough to be good for a while. 

When it gets to be evening time at the end of the week, Bucky gets up from the floor where it had been sitting. “I have to check the perimeter, I’ll be gone for a bit. Stay here till I get back.” Then he walks out the front door. Steve waits a a while until he is sure Bucky is gone, then goes to the spare room. He goes to the phone and dials Natasha’s number.

After two rings, Natasha picks up the phone “Who is this?” 

“It’s me, it’s Steve”

“What the fuck Steve” she hisses.

“Listen, Natasha, I don't have much time” he whispers as quietly as he can “I’m in a forest cabin about eight hours from my house, not sure which direction, please send help but for the love of god do not come alone. It will kill you. I’ll be fine for a while, but I’d kinda like” - he hears the front door open. “I have to go” 

“Wait Steve!” but he has to put the phone down. He scrambles out of the spare room, snatching up more paper as a reason for him being in here if asked.


	9. intruder

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theres an intruder in their cabin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> now heres the action. sort of. not a lot

bucky

 

The perimeter is clear, no Hydra agents, no one at all. A few squirrels dart across its path, and it watches them skitter up trees and chatter noisily to each other. After double checking everything, Bucky makes it’s way back to the cabin. 

It doesn't like leaving Steve alone. Any time Bucky is away from Steve is time someone can hurt him, steal him away from Bucky, but perimeter checks are necessary if they want to stay free of hydra. Bucky cant let hydra get its любимец, the one good thing he's had in seventy years. No, Bucky wont let anyone else touch Steve. Steve is Buckys. 

Bucky trods back to the cabin, thinking of Steve the whole way. How warm he is, his scent, his soothing voice, the sense of calm that washes over Bucky just looking at him. By the time Bucky gets back to the cabin, it's itchy with anxiousness and bouncing on the balls of it’s feet. The lyudoyed walks into the cabin and goes to the kitchen where he hears Steve. Steve is sitting down into his chair with a fresh stack of papers in his hand. Bucky goes behind him and nuzzles into Steve’s hair, assuring itself that Steve is indeed safe. It places it’s chin atop steves shoulder and watches him draw, this time a landscape of the view outside the kitchen window. 

They stay like that for a while, Bucky’s head on Steve’s shoulder, but Bucky decides it should probably clean it’s weapons, so gathers up the guns and knives it has stashed around the house and places them all gently at the other end of the kitchen table, but careful not to block Steve’s view of outside. Bucky stands at the table with a cleaning kit and begins to disassemble the guns one at a time, wiping them down, making sure they're spotless and in perfect working order before reassembling them. It doesn't take long to do each gun, they are all already clean, but there are a lot of guns and the repetitive movements are soothing. Bucky then moves to the knives. Again, one at a time, he takes them from any sheath they may be in and scrubs the holder clean (a part often overlooked by careless Hydra agents wanting their job to be over sooner) before cleaning and sharpening each knife itself. It then places all the weapons back to where they had all been hidden.

By the time Bucky has finished, Steve is done with his drawing as well as one of Bucky; a scene of Bucky surrounded by its weapons and cleaning a gun. Steve is now just sketching random shapes onto the paper, with no apparent end goal, but Bucky finds it fascinating all the same. It takes the two finished pieces and puts them on the fridge along with the drawing of Bucky’s arm. 

Steve looks sad and tired. His head is resting in his hand, his eyes are droopy, and the circles he's drawing on the paper are becoming lazier and lazier. Bucky stands up and walks around the table to Steve and pulls him up into its arms. Steve takes a deep breath and leans into the hug. Bucky tugs Steve over to the couch and lays down, pulling Steve on top of it. Steve rests his head on its chest and sighs, nestling into the creatures arms. Bucky smiles and purrs, closing its eyes and just lays there, happy and content. 

—————

It’s a couple of hours later when Bucky wakes up to a small sound outside with Steve still softly snoring on its chest. It perks its head up, trying to not disturb Steve, and listens more carefully. Footsteps. There are soft, nearly silent footsteps circling the cabin. A growl rumbles in Bucky’s chest, startling Steve into wakefulness. He tries to say something, but is cut off by Bucky’s hand over his mouth. It pushes a finger to its lips signaling Steve to be quiet, and Steve nods. 

Bucky carefully stands, gently lifting Steve off its chest and placing him back on the couch. It motions for Steve to stay low on the couch, who obediently crouches down. The creature grabs two of the knives it has stashed near the couch and stalks to the front door where the foot steps have stopped. It waits the door is tried, and when discovered locked, it hears the footsteps take a pace back, then the persons weight is thrown forward as the door is kicked in. 

Bucky throws itself onto the intruder as she comes through the door. It hears Steve get up from the couch “Natasha!” he screams. It’s enough distraction that the woman, Natasha, is able to climb on its back and get a garrote wire around its neck. Bucky panics and scrabbles at the wire across its throat, not able to get its hand under it. It bucks, trying to dislodge the woman from its back, but she wraps her thighs around his shoulders. Starting to lose vision, Bucky slams itself and Natasha against the wall, denting the drywall. The woman grunts, but just pulls tighter on the wire. Bucky’s knees buckle, sending it to the floor. 

“Wait, Natasha, don't kill him!” its любимец yells out behind them, but it sounds soft and distant. Bucky feels warm at that, Steve cares about it. It needs to not die, to not give up, it still needs to protect Steve, but Natasha does not let up on the garrote. Bucky falls completely to the floor, and the woman on top of him plants her left foot near its head. The creature reaches out with the metal arm and grabs Natasha, pulling her foot out from under her and slamming her to the floor. Still wheezy, it pins her down to the floor, it’s claws outstretched and piercing into the back of her wrists. Bucky pants above her, swallowing thickly, trying to get its throat working again and its eyes to clear. She is struggling beneath it, but it has the weight and fucking metal arm advantage on her now. When its throat is functioning enough to do so, Bucky begins to snarl. It leans down to snarl in the woman's ear, “I would kill you now, but my любимец seems to know you, and the last time i was going to kill one of his friends he went into hysterics.” 

“He is not your pet!” the woman hisses out. “He is mine” Bucky growls, “Mine and you cannot take him away from me.” Bucky tightens its grip on her wrists, hearing the one in the metal hand begin to creak. Then it feels Steve put a hand on its shoulder, “Please don't hurt her, she's my friend, if you let her go, I’ll stay with you, i promise, just, don't hurt her.” The creature narrows its eyes at Natasha but slowly releases its grip then stands up and in front of Steve. 

Natasha stands carefully. “Steve, are you okay?” Steve nods behind him, “Bucky won’t hurt me, he-, he's just very protective.” 

“Protective of his pet maybe,” Bucky snarls and Natasha sees it’s teeth, “or should I say it’s pet” 

Bucky frowns, “I can be a he. I am a he. I am not an it, not anymore” It, no, he says. He is free of Hydra, he does not need to be an it anymore. 

“He saved my life Natasha, from Hydra. They sent him to kill me but he saved my life. You know they were sent after me because of you, but he has kept me safe” Bucky takes a few steps back so he is next to Steve and crooks his head into Steve’s neck, purring at his words. “Safe.” Bucky confirms, “Always safe”

“So please, don't hurt him. I-I don't know what I'm going to do, but please don't kill each other okay?” Steve pleads. Keeping his eyes on Natasha, Bucky turns head head so he can breathe in Steve’s scent. “But Steve,” Natasha protests, taking a threatening step forward, “he’s keeping you as a pet. Can’t you see that?” 

“I know! But, I still don't want him hurt.” 

Natasha sighs. “You should come back to SHIELD with me Steve, we can keep you safe from Hydra.” 

“What, like you did before?!” Bucky growls, stepping back in front of Steve. “Do you know how easy it was to get to him? If I hadn't spared him, saved him, he would be food right now, and you couldn't have stopped it! You didn't do anything to protect him, and you knew Hydra would come after him to send you a message.” 

Natasha’s eyes narrowed. “What do you mean food.” She says carefully. 

Bucky grins and steps behind Steve, tucking his head into Steve’s neck and gently placing his teeth on Steve’s throat. Steve inhales sharply, but doesn't move and doesn't protest. Natasha however leaps forward, but Bucky raises his head and places his chin onto Steve’s head. “Relax,” he says to Natasha, who stops but is breathing deeply and is still poised to leap, “I had breakfast,” 

“Which you don't know what it was, and was a week ago.” Steve mutters. 

“Oh shush you, it tasted fine” Bucky countered. Natasha looked vaguely concerned, as if worried a week ago was too long. “And besides, любимец smells too good to eat.”

 

steve

 

Back to the smelling good thing, what was that even about. He uses lavender shampoo, did Bucky just really like lavender? Then again, he had taken a shower here without lavender shampoo and was still alive. 

“Steve, I’d really like you to come back to SHIELD with me.” Natasha says in a tone that implies no argument. “Only if I come with him” Bucky says. “I don't trust SHIELD and I will not leave my любимец. He is mine and you can not take him away from me.” 

“He isn't yours! And stop calling him that. He's not a animal to be called a pet.” Natasha starts to take another step forward, and Steve steps between them, “Okay! Okay, Natasha, I’ll go with you,” Bucky whimpers, “but we’re taking Bucky with us” 

Natasha growls at that, “No, absolutely not. It would try to kill everyone!” 

“No he won’t, will you Bucky?”

Bucky grumbles loudly, but nods “As long as Steve and i are safe, i will not attack or eat anybody.” 

“Oh well thats surely comforting” Natasha drawls. “The monster promises not to eat me. And what if you do get hungry? Got any Hydra agents in the freezer?” Bucky just glares.

They do all end up getting into Natasha’s black SHIELD issue van to drive to the SHIELD headquarters about nine and a half hours away. Natasha is driving and has Steve in the back with Bucky. Its a really boring drive. There are no windows in the back of the car and Steve forgot to grab the paper and pencil from the cabin, his phone is at his house, and Natasha and Bucky are are too tense to do much talking. So sitting silently in the back of a windowless van it is. Oh joy.

bucky

 

Bucky does not like this. He does not like this woman, he does like being in the back of this vehicle with no idea where he is or where he is going. It feels too much like the beginning of a mission, when the handlers would load him into the back of a van and cart him off to where they wanted to set him loose as their personal attack dog. Bucky was scared. He was scared this would be Hydra all over again. He was afraid that they would take Steve away from him and use Bucky as a weapon. They didn’t have the words, but they have Steve, and Bucky would do anything to keep him safe. 

While with Hydra, there was not much time to think about escape, about freedom, but now that he had it, he never wanted to let it go. There were no chairs or bite guards, no restraints and no laughing, spitting guards. And no more rats only twice a week. 

Bucky had eaten well the last two days, had forgotten how good it felt to be full. No dull ache in his abdomen, constantly pestering him till it got some semblance of food. After starving for so long, gorging himself on the Hydra agent had been amazing. He hadn't really been hungry the next morning, but the animal popped right into his path, he had killed it without thinking. And then he couldn't waste food could he?

Bucky purrs contentedly at the thought of his latest meals. The woman looked back at him nervously “What is he doing?” she asks Steve. 

“He’s, uh, he's purring. Means he's happy” 

“I know what purring means, I just didn't think the monster could do that.” Bucky curls his lip a little at the word ‘monster’ but doesn't stop purring. It freaks her out, and he decides he would make it a goal to make her as uneasy as possible. So he continues purring and sticks his nose into Steve’s neck. Steve squeaks at the sudden intrusion but doesn't move, so Bucky stays that way until the car begins to slow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry if natasha is out of character, i don't know what I'm doing here


	10. Headquarters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky wants to eat clint and clint just wants pizza

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comments sustain this work and give me inspiration

steve

 

“Are we there?” Steve asks when he feels the van slow to a stop. “Yeah, I'm gonna pull up to one of the side doors. Less people to overwhelm, uh, you called him ‘Bucky’?” Natasha explains. “I'm going to call my partner, he's going to help escort you to where you can wait in till we find you some rooms.”

She puts her finger to her ear, probably turning on some sort of comm device. “Hey Clint? - yeah its Natasha. Listen I've got some guests I would like help escorting. - No, actual guests, its just that one of them is the Winter Soldier. - Yes that one. - I hope not, I've been promised he’ll behave - One other thing you need to be aware of about him, he's not exactly… human - Yes, fine. - I’ll see you soon.” She turns back to them. “So that was my partner Clint, he’ll be here in a few minutes.” 

Bucky narrows his eyes but says nothing, and Steve asks “Can we wait outside, my legs are cramped and I’d really like to walk around a bit.” 

Natasha looks at Bucky but nods. “Fine, but he stays close.” Steve sees Bucky roll his eyes. Natasha opens the back of the van and lets them out. Steve looks up to see a large building that looks like it might have once been a warehouse but was now not-so-secret secret headquarters. There are large glass windows and a nicely mown lawn, making it seem more like a fancy office building than secret organization base. “It’s nice” Steve says, looking around. 

“It’s stupid” Bucky corrects, looking at the windows with a raised eyebrow. He suddenly tenses and begins to snarl, teeth bared and claws stretched out. 

“Whoah, you were not kidding Nat.” says a man coming out from around the side of the building. He was was in jeans and a t-shirt, but has a quiver of arrows across his shoulder and a bow pointed at Bucky. “Check out those teeth” 

Bucky steps, still growling, in front of Steve, shielding him he guesses from a potential arrow in his chest. “Clint,” Natasha warns, “I would put the bow down” Clint clenches his teeth but slowly lowers the bow, releasing the tension on the string and putting the arrow back into the quiver on his back. “Well, when I woke up today, I didn't expect to be growled at by the Winter Soldier. Life is full of surprises I suppose.”

bucky

 

The man, Clint, who had come out from around the building smelled like pizza and dog. Had it been just Bucky, he would not have been worried about the bow, but Steve would not be able to stop an arrow like he could. So he stopped growling when the man put the bow down and put the arrow away. He did however straighten up to his full height, to be as intimidating as he could to this new possible threat, but the man just stared back. Huffing, Bucky steps behind Steve so he can wrap his arms around the smaller man. 

“I don't know about anyone else, but I didn't have breakfast and its past lunch time, so I am starving” Steve finally says, breaking the silence.

Clint perks up “Pizza?” he asks hopefully. 

“Works for me.” Steve agrees. 

“And how about you Mr. Winter Soldier, what do you want to eat?” Clint asks. 

“You” Bucky replies. He wouldn’t though. He wasn't hungry enough, killing him would just be a waste.

“Uhhh, lets stick with pizza, yeah? Pizza is good” And so Clint orders pizza while Natasha brings them to a conference room with a long table in the middle. Steve sits down on a chair near the end of the table and Bucky, who would be perfectly happy to never sit in a chair again, moves to stand behind him while Natasha sits in the chair across from them. 

 

steve

 

Steve drums his fingers on the table. “So. Natasha, how have you been?” Steve asks awkwardly. “Worried about you.” She replies “You've got Sam scared as well. He called me as soon as you guys left. I was looking for you before your phone call.” Steve is going to reply, but the arms around him tighten. “Bucky?” he questions carefully, “Whats wrong?” 

“What phone call?” Bucky growls above him. “When did you call Natasha?” Steve closes his eyes and swallows, when he's opened his eyes again, Natasha is standing with her hand on the gun at her hip and Bucky is still growling.

“Yesterday,” Steve confesses “While you patrolling” He hears Bucky take a deep breath, not smelling, but a breath meant to calm oneself, “Why.” 

The door to the conference room opens, and Clint comes in with his bow raised, “The video camera in here doesn't have any audio, Nat, whats going on?” Bucky turns to Clint and snarls fiercely, causing Clint to take a step back and pull on the bow string a little more. 

“Both of you shut up,” Steve hisses “Bucky, I called Natasha to come get me.” Bucky snarls at her now, her gun now pulled out and pointed at Bucky’s head. “Bucky! Bucky, I called Natasha because I was scared. You kidnapped me after breaking into my house with the intention of killing me and I was scared I was never going to go home, that I would never see my friends again, and yeah, I wanted her to come get me. So I'm sorry, but I didn’t, and don't want to spend forever stuck with just you.”

 

bucky

 

Bucky’s heart felt like Steve had thrust his hand into his chest and squeezed. His любимец did not want him. He tried hard to stay calm, but sorrow rose in his throat and he choked on tears. He had not known he was still capable of crying, but Steve was able to make him finally feel enough to be able to. He gripped tighter to Steve and snarled around his tears. “You can not leave me! I won’t let you.” he saw Clint takes a step forward again, but hardly cared at this point.

Steve twisted around in his grip, “I didn't say I was leaving you, I just said I didn't want to only be with you. You can stay with me, but I want my life back.” Bucky took a big shuddering breath, sticking his nose into his любимец hair and losing himself in warmth and safety. 

 

steve

 

Steve takes a deep breath and clutches to Bucky’s shirt. He turns to Clint, “You can put that down now, no one is gonna get hurt” Clint looks at Natasha, who nods and holsters her gun, so he lowers the bow and replaces the arrow. 

Theres a knock at the door of the room, and Clint jumps. “Oh yeah, uh, pizza.” He goes to the door and grabs the pizza, then walks slowly to the table to set it down. Once its on the table he flips the top open, grabs two slices, and retreats to his corner of the room. Natasha sighs and grabs her own piece, and Steve picks up a slice for himself. “Do you want a piece?” he offers Bucky, who curls his lip. 

“Hey,” Clint says “more for me” and grabs two more pieces, having already finished his first two. “But seriously dude, what do want to eat?” 

“You” Bucky replies in a serious tone. 

“You think you're funny but you really kind of aren’t" Clint says nervously. 

“Yeah, he's not joking Clint” Natasha tells him. 

“What? Why me?” Clint protests. 

“I won’t eat Steve and Natasha is Steve’s friend.” Bucky explains, “You however…” Bucky looks Clint up and down and licks his lips. 

“Bucky.” Steve chastised. “Stop torturing him” Bucky huffs but keeps side-eying Clint. They hear a ding and Clint looks at his phone. “Oh thank god” Clint breathes. “Your guys’ rooms are ready.” 

Clint leads them through too many hallways for Steve to keep track of, but it looked like Bucky was memorizing every escape route they passed. When they reach their destination, Clint shows them the door. “This is Steve’s room, Bucky you are right down the hall.” Bucky frowns “No, I stay with Steve.” 

“Oh, well, its only got the one bed so…” Clint tries. “He doesn't care about that.” Steve says. “He likes hugging” 

“Oh, um, okay. Well, do you still want me to show you your room Bucky? They're both the same, so there’s not much to see.” 

Bucky shakes his head. “We have no need for two rooms. This one will be fine for the both of us, right любимец?” It’s not like he has much of a choice. Steve has no choices anymore. The last few days he has had no say in what happened to him. He was either kidnapped by Bucky or practically kidnapped by Natasha. He doesn't know if he’ll ever have much say in his life from now on. He had a feeling Hydra really wanted him dead now, Natasha wont let him leave SHIELD, and he knows Bucky isn't going anywhere. So whats the point in arguing. He really didn't mind all that much anyway. Bucky was a heater and he had slept quite well the last night. 

“Yeah, this works” He says with a smile.

 

bucky

 

Bucky sees the cameras hidden in corners of the rooms as Clint gives them the short tour of their rooms. There is the bedroom, a small kitchen and dining room, and a little living area with a few comfortable chairs, a small sofa, and a bookcase with random books sitting on the shelves. 

Bucky is still expecting agents to swarm in and drag him off to be their weapon, or perhaps just kill him. But so far only death threats, which he could handle as long as they are not directed at Steve. But these people, Natasha and Clint at least, seem to care about Steve, so he felt fairly certain Steve would actually be safe here. Bucky on the other hand, he would have to watch his back. 

Clint finished his tour and awkwardly left the rooms, leaving Steve and Bucky as alone as they could be with cameras in every room. Bucky thought about ripping them all out, but he figured then he would really get in trouble for that, and he wanted to attract as little attention to himself as possible. 

Steve yawns, so Bucky steers him towards the bedroom and has him change into the pajamas left out for him. Bucky just strips down to his underwear and tucks Steve and himself into bed. He wraps himself around Steve, protecting him from the world as he slept. Bucky breathes in his scent of warmth and safety, the thing that started all this, and purrs as he falls asleep.


	11. meetings and rabbits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky meets fury and clint steals a bunny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> be warned, fairly graphic bunny death ahead, but i promise the bunny was in no pain. also, no bunny were harmed in the making of this story. a few were snuggled though.

Bucky wakes to soft voices outside the door. He was getting too comfortable, they should not have been able to get this close without him waking up. He can not quite make out what they are saying, but recognizes one voice as Natasha. She seems to be arguing with a man, and shuffling footsteps tell Bucky there are three other people outside of the door.

Bucky takes a deep breath and carefully separates himself from Steve, making sure he stays asleep. He puts on a shirt and pants and quietly walks to the door of the bedroom and opens it up. Outside the door is Natasha facing a tall black man with a long black coat and an eyepatch who Bucky recognizes as Director Fury. Behind them are three armed Shield agents. The three agents raised their guns as soon as Bucky opens the door, while Natasha and Fury just turn their heads to look at him.

“You're gonna wake up Steve.” he mutters. “If you want to shoot me, can we do it in the living room?” Natasha smirked while Fury just frowns. But he nods and strides into the small living room, seating himself rather regally on one of the chairs. The armed men follow Bucky with their guns still raised, all pointed at Bucky’s head. It makes him nervous, and he has to fight the urge to snarl at them. He does however curl a lip to flash one of his fangs at them. One of them takes a hissing breath inward and adjusts his grip on his gun.

“You don't need the guns Director Fury.” Bucky says nodding his head to the agents.

“Forgive me for taking precautions when the Winter Soldier is concerned,” Fury quips. “and may I ask how you know my name?” Bucky grins.

“You were my next target after Steve.” he explains. “Long distance unfortunately, they wanted a clean, easily identifiable body.”

fury raises an eyebrow, “Unfortunately? And you prefer…?”

Bucky has a savage look on his face and step towards fury “I prefer being allowed to eat.” The shield agents all take a step forward, “Stand down.” Fury commands. They hesitate but take a step back and lower their guns.

“So, I've been told you don't work for Hydra anymore”

Bucky snarls a little “I'm not sure ‘worked for’ is quite what was happening. But yes, I am free from them.” He narrows his eyes, “And you can’t send me back.”

“Wasn't planning on it, we just are curious as to how you go from Hydra’s favorite assassin to a tiny guys personal body guard slash kidnapper.” Fury folds his hands in his lap.

“They hold no power over me anymore, and neither do you. How любимец came to be mine is none of your business.” Bucky growls.

Fury raises an eyebrow, “Came to be yours? Assuming you are talking about Mr. Rogers, then I'm pretty sure he is not an item nor a pet to be kept. He can’t be ‘yours’”

Bucky growls. Steve was his. Not as an item, these people did not seem to understand that. Steve was his and he is Steve’s. Why cant they see that? Bucky doesn't even think Steve understands. He will have to try to do something to get him to understand. Steve has just as much power over Bucky as he has over Steve. But it was none of this man’s business. Fury was not a part of this. Maybe Natasha was, perhaps she would understand at some time. But not right now, right now Steve is waking up in the other room and Bucky is hungry.

“I won’t discuss this with you right now, Steve is up.” So he turns around and walks into the bedroom. Bucky reaches the bed to see Steve slowly getting up. “We have guests” Bucky says softly, “Would you like to come out or should I tell them to go away?”

“I’ll come out” Steve replies sleepily. He gets up and trails after Bucky to the living room. When they get there, the three armed Shield agents were gone, leaving only Fury and Natasha.

“Hey Steve, this is Director Fury, my boss.” Natasha says to Steve. Fury stands so he can shake Steve’s hand, who smiles in greeting.

“Hello sir”

“Steve, I was just talking to Bucky here about you.” Fury explains. Bucky huffs behind Steve and places his chin on Steve’s head.

Steve and Fury begin talking, Bucky doesn't care about what, and Steve leans back into his chest. Bucky purrs and sticks his nose into Steve’s neck to breathe in his scent when his stomach, without his permission, growls loudly.

steve

Even though Steve knows Bucky won’t hurt him, he still tenses when he hears Bucky’s stomach growl. “You uh, you hungry Bucky?” he asks a little hesitantly.

“I’ll be fine.” Bucky mumbled back. Steve gives a breathy laugh.

“Thats great but also not what I asked, are you hungry?”

Bucky sighs into his neck, “Yes”

“Okay, thats a start. So, besides humans, rats, and mystery animals, what do you eat?” Fury’s eyebrows go up at his line of questioning.

“If it moves I’ll eat it. People really taste best though, are you attached to Clint?” Bucky teases. Fury’s mouth opens to say something but Steve cuts him off

“He’s kidding. About Clint anyway. Not the other thing. You guys wouldn't happen to have a rat problem would you?”

“But I hate rats!” Bucky protests,

“I know you do, but beggars cant be choosers” Steve tells him. Steve then looks at fury to confirm that yes, his question had been completely serious.

“I'm afraid our base is completely rat free, but I’ll see what I can do about it. Wouldn't want someone like you wandering around hungry would we Bucky?” Bucky grins into Steve’s shoulder.

“No, i don't think you do.” So Fury pulls out his phone and makes a call.

“Stark? It’s Fury - Yes hello yada yada - Look, I've got an animal here I need to feed,” Bucky huffs at being called an animal “so can you get a hold of someone who supplies zoos or wildlife centers and tell them we need rabbits - Yes Stark, as food - I don't care that they're so fluffy and cute - Stark, just do it, and make sure for it to be clear they're alive” Bucky perks up at that “Yes Stark, I'm a horrible person, you've said on many occasions. Get it done” With that he hangs up.

Steve feels slightly nauseous at the thought of rabbits being food, they really are so fluffy and cute, but sees Bucky chewing his lip as if debating something. Finally he takes a deep breath, “Thank you, Fury. I promise I won’t eat Clint”

“Well good, he's one of our best agents, I’d hate to lose him” He says then he walks away. “I think that was him saying you're welcome?” Steve says uncertainly.

                                                           ———————-

Its around lunchtime that Clint knocks on their door. Steve opens it and sees him standing there with a cardboard box with chewed on air holes punched in the top and sides. “Okay, Fury told me to bring this to you and to not look inside, so I haven’t, but I'm pretty sure there two living things in here and please please please tell me you wanted a pet and that these aren't for what I think they are, and for the love of god, just” He doesn't get to finish his sentence as Bucky snatches up the box, opens it, pulls out a rabbit, puts down the box, and snaps its neck. “Oh my god! I was just gonna say let me futzing leave! Let me leave before doing that! I am scarred for life, I cant” he is once again cut off from saying anything further as Bucky rips into the animal, swallowing it down in large gulps, blood dripping down his chin and staining his shirt.

Clint looks about ready to pass out, but looks at the box and sees another rabbit. Its got a few stray drops of blood on its white fur, and Clint snatches it up and takes off running down the hallway. Bucky watches him run off while chewing on a leg of the rabbit in his hands. “But I was gonna eat that! Does he want me to eat him?”

Steve shakes his head, “he probably just really likes bunnies” he explains. Bucky huffs “Well I do too. And I'm still hungry.” He complains, swallowing the last of the first rabbit, all traces of it gone except for the blood on his face and small tufts of fur in his claws.


	12. a talk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> natasha and bucky talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> more bunny death. sorry

bucky

What Bucky wants to do is run after the man that has stolen his food and kill him, then eat both him and the rabbit. But he had promised Fury he would not kill Clint, so he would let him go. While he was still hungry, it wasn't near as bad as it usually was at all times with Hydra, so he could deal with it. Instead Bucky turns to Steve.

“Are you hungry?” he asks him. Steve sticks out his tongue in disgust, “Not anymore” he replies. Not anymore? What did that mean? You were either hungry or you weren’t, why wasn't Steve hungry ‘anymore’? “Why not?”

“Well, i did just see a rabbit that was alive two minutes ago disappear, and I'm not quite used to that yet, which I have a feeling I'm gonna have to be to be around you” Well yes, he will have to get used to it, but if Bucky could tolerate the smell of pizza, he was sure Steve could handle this. Maybe he doesn't need to eat to in front of him though. Compromises can be made.

He wanders into the kitchen and grabs a banana and tosses it at Steve, who fumbles with it for a moment, but eventually gets a grip on it. “At least eat that” Bucky instructs.

“Yes, yes fine” Steve grumbles as he peels the banana and takes a bite. Bucky watches him till he's eaten the whole banana, then nods in satisfaction. They both move to the small couch in the living room and sit down, Steve leaning against Bucky with a book he took of the bookshelf while Bucky was grabbing the banana. They stayed like this for a while, Bucky leaned back against the couch with Steve curled up next to him, until there was yet another knock on the door. This time it was Natasha with a cardboard box.

“This is an apology from me. Clint wont give up the rabbit, he's already named it, but here’s another one. We don't actually know how much you eat Bucky, so we were guessing two a day would be good unless you told us different.”

Bucky looks at the box, “I don't really know either, I've never gotten to eat my fill before except on missions, and that was always humans.” Natasha just narrows her eyes slightly in disapproval, though at what Bucky wasn't quite sure, and holds out the box. He takes it from her more carefully than he did with Clint, and doesn't immediately open it. He looks at Steve, silently giving him the chance to leave. Steve nods and grabs his book before heading to the bedroom. Bucky looks back at the box and realizes Natasha is still there.

“We need to talk” she says. Bucky nods, because, yes, they do. He knows they all misunderstand his intentions with Steve, that they think he sees Steve as his pet.

“I don't like you.” Natasha starts. Oh good, straight to the point. “And I don't trust you. You're the Winter Soldier and I'm supposed to just believe that you won’t hurt anyone here? I don't like you being so close to Steve, though I can see you care about him a great deal. However I do not like the way you care about him. He is not a pet, not a thing to be owned, he is a human being, and a really good one too. So believe me when I say I will not allow that to continue. I”

Bucky interrupts her, probably not a good idea, but he has things to say as well. “As long as we’re putting it out there, I don't like you either. Though I thank you for the food. It’s smart to not trust me, I would be concerned if you did. However, barring harm or threat of harm to myself and Steve, I promise I will not hurt anyone, not even Clint for stealing my food.” She raises an eyebrow at that “And I know Steve is not a pet, he never was, never will be. I was a pet for over seventy years and I will never inflict that upon another being. He is mine, yes, but I am also his. I don't know if this is simply part of being what I am, but I know Steve is mine. He smells of warmth and safety, he provided that when I needed it most. And won’t allow it to continue? You can’t stop me, just as you couldn't stop Hydra from sending me in the first place, you know that perfectly well, so any threats you make are useless. Now if you would like to stay, there is food in the kitchen, but I’ll be eating this,” he holds up the box “so be prepared for that.”

She follows him to the kitchen where she grabs a glass and fills it with water as he pulls the rabbit out of the box. It sniffs his metal hand, and he strokes its soft brown fur before swiftly snapping its neck. He continues to pet the rabbit for a moment before bringing it to his mouth.

Before he can bite down, Natasha asks, “Why snap its neck? I saw what you did to that Hydra agent back at Steve’s house, he had to have been alive for that, and probably conscious for most of it as well. So why kill the rabbit first?”

Bucky puts the rabbit down on the counter and sighs. “Because while it may be far more enjoyable to eat it alive, the rabbit did nothing to deserve such torture, that Hydra agent did. This rabbit could not make the decision of what would happen to it, he did. So while the rabbit has to die, it can die quickly and without pain, and the hydra agent can die as slowly as I can manage.” Bucky pauses “Can I eat now?” Natasha seems to deliberate what he has said and nods, taking another sip of water.

So he brings the rabbits now cooling body up to his mouth and bites down, letting the blood fill his mouth and tears off a chunk of the flesh to swallow down. Natasha watches as he takes his time crunching through the bones and sucking up entrails, leaving nothing behind, not a speck of bone or a tuft of fur.

“Thank you” He utters softly after a minute of silence.

“For what, the rabbit?” Natasha asks.

“For being Steve’s friend, for caring about him, for trying to kill me when you thought I was a threat, for not killing me even though you still think I am. And yes, for the rabbit.”

Natasha chews her lip for a moment. “You're welcome” she finally says softly. They sit in comfortable silence for a few minutes, Bucky swiping his tongue around his teeth to get rid of any bits of flesh stuck to them, Natasha calmly sipping her water. When she finishes, she washes her glass and places it back in the cabinet she got it from.

“I haven't talked to Steve in a while, I'm gonna go hang out with him for a bit” Natasha declares, walking towards the bedroom door. “You are free to explore most of the base you know. Just don't go through locked doors and you should be good. Do you want me to tell Steve you’ll be out?”

Bucky considers a moment before nodding and making his way to the door out of their rooms. He walks out the door and begins simply wandering the halls of the compound, always making sure he knows how to get back. He finds little of interest, a few offices, a couple big conference rooms, a room filled with computer screens.

He finally stumbles across a gym that he feels he could spend a very long time in. It has not only the standard gym equipment he could probably rip to shreds if he wanted to, but also a shooting range through one door, and agility course/jungle gym/rock wall through another, and a room that looked like it was just for different kinds of sparring, containing a boxing ring, a wrestling mat, padded floors and walls, and various other equipment.

Bucky puts a star on his mental map of the base here, definitely wanting to return at some point. having felt he's been out long enough, he takes the quickest route back to his and Steve’s rooms.

steve

Steve sits on the bed for a while before wandering into the living room and sitting on one end of the couch, pondering what Natasha had told him. So he was not Bucky’s pet? He didn't belong to him in Bucky’s mind. He simply was just was Bucky’s, as Bucky was Steve’s. He wonders what that could mean, and hopes Bucky doesn't want a romantic or sexual relationship, though he hadn't indicated he wanted either. Bucky did very much like physical contact, but so far it could all be considered platonic.

Steve sighs, hoping for sudden clarity to reach him and the situation be resolved, but no such miracle happened, nor would it ever. He would just have to figure this out on his own.


	13. boyfriend my ass

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sam makes an appearance and bucky finds the bunny sanctuary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bit of a longer chapter this time

bucky

 

It’s been a few days and Natasha has brought Steve some of his art supplies from his house and Bucky has visited the gym he found. He took Steve one day, and Steve watched as Bucky went through an agility course with amazing speed and shoot at targets too far away for Steve to even see. Bucky tries to convince Steve to let him teach him how to shoot, but Steve refused. He does however let Bucky teach him some basic self defense moves that might be effective in at least delaying Hydra agent were he ever attacked again. One day Natasha comes in and watches Bucky shoot, but he refuses to spar with her. 

Steve is invited over to Clints apartments in the base one day, but Bucky was banned, Clint saying ‘Snowball has been traumatized enough already’. He didn't try explaining now that snowball was Clint’s, he wouldn't eat her, knowing his statement would be brushed off.  
Bucky had come to trust Clint, so was comfortable with leaving Steve alone with him. 

It’s a week after Clint had stolen Snowball that another man shows up to see Steve. Bucky is at the gym when he arrives, so the man, who Bucky recognizes as Sam, is already in the apartment when Bucky gets back. He, Steve and Natasha are sitting around the dining room table laughing, but Sam stops when he sees Bucky walk through the kitchen. 

“You!” He hisses, standing up and striding towards Bucky, “Boyfriend my ass, you kidnapped Steve,” He goes to punch Bucky, who dodges and pulls Sam’s arm behind his back with his right hand, his metal one wrapping around Sam’s throat. Bucky snarls and squeezes his grip on Sam, making him gasp for air. 

Steve and Natasha have both jumped up, Steve shouting “Bucky, no!” and Natasha hissing “You said you wouldn't hurt anyone!’

“I said barring threat of harm, I’d say that was a threat of harm.” Bucky growls, not letting up on Sam’s neck. 

“Bucky let him go, he's my friend, I told you he's my friend, please don't hurt him!” Steve pleads.

Bucky loosens his grip on Sam’s throat, letting him suck air into his lungs, “Try to touch me again and I will eat your intestines while you watch” He hisses into the mans ear, then throws him to the ground. 

“I need to take a shower.” Bucky informs them, “I’ll have to pass back through here when I'm done, attacking me again would be inadvisable.”

 

steve

 

Steve takes a deep breath as Bucky stalks off, leaving Natasha helping Sam to his feet. “Let’s go to the living room,” she says “you should lie down”

“I’m fine” Sam says, but his words turn into hoarse coughing. They lead Sam to the couch and have him sit down, Sam waving them off once he's sat down. 

“How are you guys okay with that thing here? Isn't it the one that tried to kill Steve?” He questioned. He's looking at them incredulously, as if they've lost their minds. Which, to be fair, they have a little bit. 

“It’s complicated,” Steve starts, but Natasha cuts him off. “It really not” She says. “Bucky was sent by Hydra to kill and eat Steve, but he decided he liked Steve so instead killed and ate the Hydra agents.” Steve interrupts “Only one of them” Natasha rolls her eyes “Fine, he killed them all and ate one of them, though there was another one with a bite or two taken out of him, then he took Steve to a cabin to, in his mind, keep him safe. Then Steve called me, I came, convinced Bucky to let them come here, and Bucky has, for the most part, been very well behaved.”

“I’m sorry.” Sam says “I’m still stuck on the fact ‘Bucky’ was going to eat Steve?! It eats people? What the hell has it been eating here? You got a supply of Hydra agents locked up for him or something?” 

Steve purses his lips. “yes, he eats human, but here he's been eating rabbits. And he saved me Sam, he was sent to kill me but saved me” 

“And then kidnapped you and held you hostage! Sounds like some Stockholm Syndrome shit right there to me.” Sam protests. 

“Just give him a chance, Sam, please, I'm not denying this whole situation is messed up, but he was just trying to do what he thought was best.” Steve tries.

“He threatened. To eat. My intestines.” Sam says slowly. Steve sighs. 

At this point, Bucky walks by, towel around his waist on his way to the bedroom. Sam glares at him the whole way and Bucky just snarls. After a few minutes of tense silence, there’s a knock on the door, and Natasha gets up to answer. When she comes back, she carrying the box that has Bucky’s rabbits. 

Sam takes a deep breath. “What is that?”

Bucky strides into the room, now clothed, and snatches up the box. “Dinner” he replies stiffly, and walks into the kitchen. 

“Why the fuck did that box have air holes in it? Are those rabbits alive?” they hear two squeaks and snaps from the kitchen. “Not anymore” Natasha answers smoothly. Sam puts his head between his knees when the sound of ripping and crunching comes from the kitchen. “How are you guys okay with this?” He mutters weakly. 

“I'm still getting used to it, but after seeing him do that to a live person, this is sort of tame” Steve says. He feels bad for Sam, he really does. He remembers how disgusted and terrified he was of Bucky back when he was just the creature. “Fuck.” sam whispers. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!” he ends up shouting. Steve winces. He doesn't want to lose Sam as a friend, but he doesn't know what he can say to make things better. 

bucky

 

As Bucky is finishing the first rabbit, he hears a shout from the living room. Worried for Steve, he sets the second rabbit onto the counter and stalks into the living room. He sees Sam on the couch with his head on his knees, Natasha sitting on the chair next to him and Steve hovering worriedly in front of the couch.

Bucky sighs and walks over to Steve and pulls him into a firm hug, placing his chin on top of Steve’s head. Steve leans into the hug, silently crying, as Bucky rocks them back and forth.

Sam has looked up and is staring at Bucky and the metal arm that is around Steve’s back, the hand cradling the back of Steve’s head. Bucky's suddenly aware of the fact that there is blood around his mouth, and how that must look to Sam as his chin is pressed atop Steve’s head. He quickly swipes his tongue around his mouth, catching as much of the blood as he could. 

Sam gags. Oh, wrong thing to do. He now wants to make Sam more comfortable, as his hate towards Bucky is clearly upsetting Steve. 

Natasha has gotten up and gone to the kitchen, and Bucky remembers he left the rabbit on the counter. He gently places Steve next to Sam, who flinches away from Bucky. As soon as Bucky has straightened up, Steve has fallen onto Sam and is sobbing. Sam wraps Steve in his own hug, and Bucky nods before walking to the kitchen. 

He sits on stool at the kitchen counter, stools are okay, the have no back and no arm, easily escapable, and grabs the rabbit. He tears into it slowly, eyes downcast. Natasha sits on the stool next to him and places a glass of milk in front of him. 

“Just try it before you turn up your nose.” She tells him. Reluctantly he pulls the glass of milk to himself and takes a sip. Then another, then he's downing the whole glass. Natasha laughs and points at the fridge, “Leave some for cereal in the morning.” He nods and continues eating. Once his rabbit is finished and his face washed, he goes to the fridge and pours himself another glass of milk and walks into the living room.

Steve has stopped crying and is now just leaning against Sam. Bucky settles himself on the floor as far away from Sam as he can get while still being able to see Steve around furniture. Steve sees Bucky with his hands wrapped firmly around his glass of milk and gives a hiccupy laugh. “Discovered milk I see.” 

“Natasha.” Is all he says in explanation. Natasha gives him a thumbs up. 

Sam stands carefully, watching Bucky the whole time, as if waiting for him to pounce. Smart man. “I have to go” he says “I need to get on the road now if I want to be home at a decent hour.” 

“You” Steve hesitates, “You will come back and visit right?” 

“Yeah of course Steve” Sam confirms. 

“Sam” Bucky says quietly, 

“What” is the short reply. 

“Make sure to call ahead so I can make myself scarce, okay?” Bucky requests. 

“Yeah fine” Sam answers. 

And then he leaves, no goodbyes, just leaves. Bucky feels bad, knows the tense atmosphere is because of him. He stands up and puts his empty glass in the sink before going into the bedroom and changing into the pajamas Steve insisted he wear. He lays down in bed, knowing its early and not really caring. 

 

—————

 

A few weeks pass and Sam has only called, but never come to visit again. Bucky continues his sessions at the gym, Steve continues drawing and reading, and both of them are bored. They've been here a month and haven't gone outside once. Bucky enjoys his sessions at the gym, switching between the punching bag, shooting range, and agility course room. The best thing about the agility course is it was changed every few days, keeping Bucky entertained. 

And while he is more than grateful to SHIELD for providing food for him, he misses hunting. He misses human screams as he tears them apart, he misses the taste of human flesh. He almost asks a few times if they would send him out on missions against Hydra, but knows he has gained none of their trust enough for that. 

Most of the agents in the base know about the rabbits and are repulsed, it doesn't escape his notice that the gym clears as soon as he enters, as well as the shooting range. In some ways he is grateful, he could snarl and growl to his hearts content as he exercised, and he didn't have people distracting him in the shooting range. But another small part of him is a little hurt. 

One day Clint is in the shooting range when he walks in. True to himself, Clint is using a bow instead of a gun. Clint nods at him as he walks in and continues shooting. Bucky picks a gun up from a rack and settles into one of the artificial trees that make up some of the shooting range. 

After he grows bored, Bucky moves on to the agility course, grateful to see it has been rearranged since the previous day. He gets so absorbed in his course that he doesn't notice Clint walk in till he's done. He stands, panting slightly, at the end of the course, unsure of what to do. He has had no interaction with this man save being threatened with a bow and clint stealing his food. Clint finally speaks up 

“So what are you” Bucky knew what he was asking.

“In America you call me a wendigo, in Russia I’m called a lyudoyed, it translates to man-eater, or cannibal. i like lyudoyed. At home we never had a name for ourselves, we never had the need to.” And then he suddenly misses home. He hasn't thought about home in a while, never having the time or want to, but now a sort of homesickness strikes him. He frowns and his brow furrows. 

“Hey, you okay?” Clint asks. Was he okay? Would he ever be okay? His first thought is no, of course not, he was far from home in distance and time, his entire family was likely dead, he had been held captive by Hydra for over seventy years, Hydra knew the words that gave them complete control over him, and he was now stuck in a SHIELD facility. But he had his Steve, his любимец. Surely that was worth something. 

Bucky takes a deep breath. “I hope so.” he answers eventually. Clint nods, and starts on the agility course himself. Taking the hint that their conversation was over, Bucky leaves the agility course and wanders the gym. He ends up in the room with the exercise equipment, so he goes to a punching bag and begins pummeling it. Out of the corner of his eye he sees three people, SHIELD agents he assumes, muttering amongst themselves. he doesn't care enough to listen to what they're saying, though he could if he wanted to. After he's destroyed the punching bag, one of them takes a few steps toward him. 

“Hey, freak, why're you here? They not want a weirdo like you in Hydra? Why'd they let you on the compound at all, a Hydra agent, and a monster one as well.” Bucky ignores him and grabs another punching bag and hooks it up. “Hey, I'm talking to you!” Bucky just starts at the punching bag. “Hey, monster, eaten any innocent bunnies lately? They stare at you with those big sad eyes before you kill em?” Bucky’s punches falter a moment, but he continues. “Ah, so it does understand English! I was beginning to think it was too much of an animal to understand basic human speech.” Bucky rolls his eyes at that one. “Wheres your little faggot boyfriend? Or you finally eat him too?” 

Bucky snarls and turns toward the man. He's standing a little bit in front of his buddies, all of them grinning wickedly. “Oh I'm supposed to be scared of that?” The man scoffs. “You’re just a pathetic excuse for an attack dog, and your boyfriend is really just a pathetic tiny excuse for a human being.” Bucky growls again. How dare he. How dare he disrespect Steve. Bucky doesn't care if he himself is insulted, he’s dealt with it for seventy years, but Steve… Bucky will kill them if they say one more thing about Steve. “Winter Soldier, what does that even mean? It’s a stupid codename if you ask me. And whats the tiny guys codename huh? Little-” 

He doesn't get to finish his insult, Bucky will not let him finish his insult. He has the man by the throat with his right hand, claws piercing into his neck. The mans face is finally a little bit frightened. The two other agents rush at him, but Bucky throws the first man at them, knocking all of them to the ground. Before the can get up, Bucky stalks over and lands two punches on one of the two others face with his metal fist, knocking him unconscious. The first and second man are getting up, untangling themselves from each other, and run to tackle Bucky. He sidesteps and kicks the second man in the head as he hurtles by, dropping him as well. The last man, the one who had been taunting him, stands at the other side of the room, eying his two downed friends. 

Bucky is about to stalk forward, to rip this man to shreds, but an arrow pierces the floor at his feet. He looks toward where it was shot from and sees clint. 

“What the futz is going on here?!” he demands. Bucky turns his head back to the SHIELD agent and snarls, but doesn't move forward. The agent points at Bucky.

“My buddies and I were just working out, this freak attacked us.” He accuses.

“The security feeds have audio you dipshit, you weren't working out you were insulting him and his friend.” Clint counters. “But you, Bucky, you can’t attack SHIELD agents, no matter what. Harm or threat of harm, thats what you said. They threatened no harm and you struck first. This is why it was strongly fought against you being allowed to stay here, can’t just have a monster hydra agent roaming around, it'll kill someone! Now i know that they started it, so I'm not gonna lock you up, but I am going to report this to Fury and this cant happen again Bucky, understand?”

Bucky glares but nods. 

“Alright, you,” Clint lowers his bow and gestures to the very lucky SHIELD agent, “Grab one of these guys, let’s take ‘em to the infirmary. You,” he points at Bucky “get out of here.” Bucky nods and turns, making his way out of the gym. He wanders the facility, not paying attention to where he is going. He tries doors he knows are locked, surveils rooms that aren’t, and really just takes up time, not wanting to go back to the apartment quite yet. Eventually he comes to a door that has always been locked, but he tries it again anyways, and find it opens. 

At first all he sees are rabbits. None of them are in cages, but are hopping around the room, some eating from a pile of hay in the corner, some in a hutch, some sitting in the lap of a man sitting in the middle of the room. His back is to the door, so he doesn't see as Bucky walks in. Deciding to not to worry to much about the man on the ground covered in bunnies, Bucky closes the door behind him and sits on the floor of the room. A bunny hops over to him and places its front paws on his knee. He gently pets its head with his right hand. 

The man on the floor turns around, sees Bucky, and screams. “Hi” Bucky says. 

“When did you get here?! Who are you?!” The man, who Bucky recognizes as Tony Stark, yelped, holding a rabbit firmly against his chest. 

“I’m Bucky, I got here about a minute ago. Why do you have a room of rabbits?” Bucky answers.

“Well, you see, this is the bunny sanctuary. Fury has this creature here he feeds rabbits to, so Clint and I made the bunny sanctuary. You can’t tell anyone okay?” Tony whispers conspiratorially. 

Bucky smirks. “I promise I won’t" He says. And he means it too, he won’t tell anyone and the won’t eat any of the rabbits here. They were loved and he had no right to take them away. The rabbit at his knees jumps into his lap, and he placed his hand on its back, feeling its rapid breath and soft fur. Maybe he could see why Clint had stolen Snowball. 

“Does Clint have Snowball here or she still in his apartment?” He asks, looking around. He sees a few white rabbits, and can’t really tell them apart. 

“No, Clint keeps Snowball to himself.” He pauses “Wait a minute, how do you know about Snowball?” Tony questions suspiciously. Bucky chews on his lip, debating how to answer, when Stark sees his fang poking out of his mouth.

“Oh my god! It’s you! Clint said he stole the bunny from a creature and its totally you isn't it?!” He accused. Bucky just shrugs. Stark stands up and snatches the bunny from his lap. 

“Hey, I was petting that.” he complains “No,” Stark says “you were deciding how to best cook him!”

“Three things wrong with that; one: I was clearly petting him, two: I don't cook them, three: he's yours now, I wouldn't eat him.” he lists. Tony raises a disbelieving eyebrow when the the door opens and Clint walks in with Snowball tucked under his arm. 

“So I brought Snowball for bunny playtime..” He looks up and sees Bucky sitting on the floor and Stark holding a rabbit away from him. “You! Out. Out out out!” 

“I'm not going to eat them!” he protests. “I swear!” Clint sneers, “Like we would trust anything you say, you're the futzing Winter Soldier and a man slash bunny eating monster! And you just attacked three SHIELD agents! Lyudoyed, man-eater, you said it yourself!” 

Bucky’s face falls a little. Hadn't he been here long enough to not be called a monster by Clint anymore? He guesses Clint isn't technically wrong, he is a man slash bunny eating monster, but it still hurt a little. “Fine” Bucky huffs, and walks out of the bunny sanctuary.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was going to have it be humor in the end, but then that happened. i do not enjoy making clint a jerk, but it had to be done. and i make steve very emotional in this, i know, but i don't know what else to do


	14. rock bottom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky feels guilty and we see more of tony stark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for bucky starving himself. he's not in a good place this chapter

It been a week and Bucky hasn't eaten. He takes all the rabbits that are dropped of and leaves them outside Clint’s door. Since whenever Steve sees the box dropped off he goes to their room, it takes him three days to notice Bucky wasn't eating. He worries and fusses, but Bucky brushes him off, saying he wasn't hungry, even though he was. After the week has ended, he's as hungry as he was when he first met Steve. He refuses to stay near Steve and sleeps on the couch, not wanting to snap and try to bite him. 

He spends a lot of time in the bunny sanctuary, which had been cleared by Clint and Tony. All that was left was a few stray stems of hay. But he would huddle himself into a far corner of the room and breathe in the scent of rabbits, making him hungrier and sicker to his stomach at the same time.

He knew he needed to eat something, he knew this couldn't last, even Hydra hadn't let him go this long without food. But he isolated himself, not going to the gym and refusing to go anywhere he may see people, knowing that too much time with any person would end up with them dead and him no longer hungry. 

It’s been a week and a half and he's sitting in the empty room when Natasha walks in. He refuses to look at her, tries to not even breath, because she smells so good. But not just her, she's carrying a box with her. She places it on the floor and gently slides it over to him. “Stop whatever stubborn stunt you're pulling and just eat. Steve is worried sick and Clint apologizes.”

Bucky huffs and turns his head away from the box, away from the two rabbits he knows are inside. “Bucky,” Natasha sighs “They’re already dead, I killed them a few minutes ago. Now it would just be a waste. And you can’t keep this up, you'll slip up and end up hurting someone, maybe even Steve, and i know what that would do to you. So would you just forget about Clint and Tony and eat?” 

Bucky looks up at her, “Already dead?” he whispers. “Already dead.” Natasha confirms. he doesn't want to hurt anybody, Steve least of all, and he knows Natasha is right, he will break if he continues. So he reaches out and slowly pulls the box toward himself. He opens it up and sees the two rabbits, necks snapped. He picks one up in his hands, stoking its still warm fur. Then the scent really reaches him. Warm, coppery, wet flesh below that skin just waiting for it, and then it can’t help itself. The rabbit is gone within minutes. The second one is gone just as fast, and all this meal has done is make its stomach want more. But there are no more rabbits, the whole room smells of them, but it can not see any, hear any. 

But there is a larger heartbeat across the room, one that would provide much more than a rabbit. The creature lunges at the thing, the person, yes! A human! So much meat, so much food, and pins them down. The person, the woman, is yelling something at it, but it cannot hear, doesn't want to hear what she is saying, doesn't care. It sticks its nose in the woman neck, inhaling, savoring her scent. It’s about to bite down when the creature hears the door open, another person, a man this time, is yelling at it to stop, the man has a bow with an arrow pointed at it. The creature jumps forward off the girl and toward the man but its ankle is grabbed and it falls to the floor with a hard thud. It feels a shooting pain in its shoulder and its vision hazes, no, his vision hazes. What was happening, why did his shoulder hurt? He looks behind him and sees an arrow sticking out of him, an arrow with what looked like a syringe at the end of it. 

“Bucky?” he hears a voice. Natasha. Natasha is calling his name. He tries to respond, but his head drops back down onto the floor as the drug that was in the syringe takes ahold of his body. Then everything is black.

steve

 

Steve is running across the base toward where he knows Bucky is. He's explored often enough with Bucky that knows where everything is, and he skids to a stop out side the isolation room, which was really more of a cell. He tries to open the door but its locked. Natasha comes up behind him and leads him through the door next to it, which leads to a small room that looks into the cell. Steve sees Bucky curled up in the corner, dried blood on his face and hands. His face has a look of absolute despair. 

“What are we standing here for, let him out!” Steve pleads.

“Yeah, no can do,” another person says as they walk into the small viewing room “that thing attacked Natasha, its staying in there” The man turns to Steve and holds out his hand “Tony Stark.” He introduces himself. He retracts his hand when Steve crosses his arms over his chest and frowns at him. “Okay then, never mind” 

Steve turns to Natasha, “Did he really attack you?” Natasha purses her lips and nods, “There were extenuating circumstances” she says. Tony snorts. “He tried to eat you, whats so complicated about that?” 

Steve gapes “He what?” Natasha sighs, “I brought him food and he went into a sort of zone, like he didn't remember me at all. He knocked me down and was about to kill me when Clint came in and shot him with a tranquilizer.” She explains. 

“Yeah, about that, why didn't he just kill it?” Tony asks from a chair. Steve glares at Tony. He did not like him.

Natasha looks at Tony sharply “Because he knows this wouldn't have happened if he and you hadn't been cruel to Bucky.” she snaps. 

“I just didn't want it to kill my bunny! I wasn't gonna trust what it promised” Tony yelled.

“He wasn't going to!” Steve cut in, “And if he promised then you should have trusted him! He hasn't broken a single promise while he's been here, or even since I met him!” 

“So I'm supposed to just trust a man eating monster?”

“YES” Steve shouts. 

They hear a voice from the speakers, “You guys know the speakers are on right? I can hear you.” They all turn to look at Bucky, who is now sitting upright in the corner. 

Tony gulps. “Shit”

Bucky huffs out a laugh. “It’s alright, I don't blame you Tony. And Natasha, I'm really really sorry, I don't know what I was doing, thank you for trying to help me. And thank Clint for me as well. Steve… I need to talk to you. Alone, with no microphones.” 

Steve and Tony spoke at the same time, Tony saying “Absolutely not” while Steve instantly agrees to see him. Steve turns to Tony with his small chest puffed out, “I don't know who you think you are why you are so suddenly in charge, but if I want to go see Bucky I will” and then strides off to the door between the isolation and viewing room. He unlocks it and walks into the room. He sits down next to Bucky and leans into his side, frowning at the tremors wracking Bucky’s body. 

“Whats wrong?” He asks. Bucky takes a deep breath. “Drugs are still in my system.” Bucky explains. “But I need to give you something. This will ensure that I will never hurt anyone else. You have your pencil and paper?” 

Steve reaches into his pocket and pulls out the little red notebook and pencil that are always there and hands them to Bucky. With shaky hands, Bucky begins writing. when he's done, he hands the paper back to Steve. on it are words that Steve had never seen before, in a language he didn't recognize. “What is this?”

“If I ever-, if that ever happens again, say these words. You have to say them in this order or they won’t work, but when you say them, I’ll stop what ever I'm doing, and I’ll listen to anything you say. Thats why you can’t give this to anyone. this is what hydra used to control me, and unless its you, i don't want that ever again. but if I'm gonna kill someone, you have to say these words. Keep them close, promise me.”

Steve has tears in his eyes but nods his promise. 

 

bucky

 

Reassured that he would never hurt anyone ever again as long as Steve was around, Bucky leans back against the wall and takes a deep breath. He twists around and pulls Steve close to him, sticking his nose in Steve’s neck and breathing in warmth and safety. “My Steve” he breathes. “My Bucky” Steve whispers back. Bucky cant help the thunderous purr that escapes his throat at those words, and he smiles into Steve’s neck. “Yours” he purrs. 

——————————

It’s two more weeks until they let Bucky out of the isolation room. He gets two rabbits once a day, and eats every single one. When he is let out, he's escorted by four armed agents to Steve and his apartment, where he is locked in for another two weeks. 

During the second week, Sam comes over for a visit. Bucky hides himself away in the bedroom and flinches when he hears Sam shout at one point when Natasha is explaining why he hadn't been allowed over for a while. He completely expects Sam to storm into the room and beat him, and Bucky would let him at this point. But Sam stays in the living room, so Bucky stays in the bedroom. He could handle that. 

When he is finally let out of their apartment, the first place he goes is the gym and runs the agility circuit until he can hardly stand. He sits, panting, on one of the raised platforms when Tony Stark walks into the gym. Bucky’s breathing increases further at the sight of the man who can so easily lock him up. “Hey uh, Bucky? Thats your name right? Bucky? Yeah, i wanna talk to you for a bit” He calls out, still having not seen Bucky yet. 

Careful so as not to make any noise, Bucky sneaks up behind Stark. When he's about a foot behind him, Bucky whispers, “You called?” Stark whips around and Bucky smoothly takes a step back to avoid being hit by a flying fist. 

“Holy shit dude, don't do that!” Bucky just smiles, open lipped to show his teeth. Stark paled at the sight of his fangs. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to try and scare this man, but Bucky was bored and had been locked up for a month, he wanted some fun at the mans who was responsible expense.

“Did you need something” Bucky asks.  
Stark swallowed and seemed to mentally shake himself before saying, “Yeah, uh, look. I'm not sorry for locking you up, but I guess I'm supposed to be sorry that I didn't trust you before. Apparently you went without eating for nearly two weeks because of us and thats why you attacked Natasha? So I'm sorry for how clint and I treated you. So uh… there.” 

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “What where you threatened with to make you apologize?” 

Stark looked offended, “What you think I wouldn't apologize on my own?” 

“No”

“Fine, they threatened to take my bunnies and give them to you” Stark conceded.

Bucky nods. Good to know he can still be used as a threat. He's been thinking about something, maybe it was worth a shot “Can you get me put on missions?”

Stark gawped “I'm sorry what?” 

“I want to hunt. I want to hunt Hydra, I can’t do that here. It’s been torture, cooped up in here, I need to get out, I need to hunt, and I’d like to do that on coordinated missions for SHIELD against Hydra rather than me breaking out and eating the first Hydra agent i find. And if I do get to go out, I'm very, very good at my job, and I’d like to be rewarded for that.” 

Stark takes a deep breath, “That’s all stuff that would need to be discussed with Fury, not me. And what kind of reward we talking about? Money? Pat on the back? Doggy treat?” Bucky rolls his eyes. 

“If Fury is the one who can make this happen, then I want to talk to Fury about it.” Bucky says. Stark looks suspicious, but nods slowly. 

“I’ll bring this to Fury’s attention.” He finally says. Bucky nods his thanks and goes to walk out of the gym when Stark calls out behind him “You wont eat my bunnies right?” 

Bucky turns around. “Will you trust me when I say I won’t?” 

Stark frowns, “Not really I guess” 

Bucky sighs, “Then why ask?” Stark doesn't seem to have an answer for that, so Bucky walked out of the gym and started towards Steve and his apartment.


	15. he's my friend too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sam finds out what happened and bucky has a talk with fury

bucky

By the time he had changed into new clothes after his shower, Fury is sitting in the living room. “You wanted to talk?” Bucky saw no point in small talk, so gets right to his request.

“I want to go out on missions”

Fury just raises an eyebrow. “And why should I let you do that?”

“Because I'm a good asset. I can help you take down Hydra.” Bucky tries.

“Oh is that all? Something tells me you have other reasons for wanting to be let out.”

Bucky looks down. He takes a deep breath. Debates. Decides he’ll tell the truth. Bucky has a feeling Fury would see through any bull shit excuse he comes up with anyway. “I need to hunt. It’s what I was born to do, It’s what I am. I spent the last seventy years hunting under the command of Hydra, with no choices of my own, I would like to have the chance to hunt them.”

“And Stark said you want a reward?” Fury prompts.

Bucky grins, all teeth. “I want to really hunt. The point of hunting is to get food, I want to be allowed to eat at the end of these missions. I understand you'll need information from some of them, but I'm also very good at getting that. I have a lot of uses Fury, do you really want me locked up here eating rabbits?”

Fury sighs and stands up. “I’ll think about it. In the meantime, I can guarantee it'll be a no if another incidence happens, so behave well, eat your rabbits like a good boy, and ill think about.”

Bucky nods and watches Fury leave. Once the other man has closed the door behind him, Bucky sits down on the floor and puts his head in his hands.

He just asked to be an asset again. But surely this time it would be better? It was his choice, and his mind was not being manipulated. He could enjoy this, live an actual life. He loves Steve, but he had to do something more. He understands what Steve meant when he said he wants his life back. Bucky didn't have much of one in the first place, but wants to do something to perhaps build one. Having Steve was a good start, but even Bucky knows he needs to do more.

And he was getting restless. There was only so much he could do at the gym, amazing as it was. He'd thought a few times of setting a rabbit loose in the agility course so he could actually hunt, but that would be a bit cruel, and he was pretty sure Clint would actually shoot him for that, with a real arrow this time.

steve

Bucky had given Steve words that would give Steve full control over him. Words that would make Bucky a puppet, and he had trusted Steve with it. Steve wasn't sure what to do with this information. But he did know he would not betray Bucky’s trust. He would keep these words a secret. He spent a lot of time memorizing the words, not because he thought he would need them, but because it felt like what Bucky had wanted him to do, he wanted Steve to keep the words close, and so he would. It took him about a week, there were quite a few words and he had no clue what they meant, but he memorized them.

He took the other week Bucky was confined in isolation ensuring he really knew them, then burned the paper. He wanted to make sure no one ever found the words, that no one could ever control Bucky the way Hydra had again.

Sam finally gets to visit about two weeks after Bucky is allowed back into the apartment, and as soon as Bucky hears the knock at the door he gets up from where he was sitting on the floor and flees to the bedroom. Steve thinks Bucky feels bad for attacking Sam and wants to make it up to him by making himself as absent as he can. When Sam has sat down and he, Steve and Natasha have started talking, Sam asks the inevitable question, “Why wasn't I allowed to visit for three weeks?” Steve just takes a deep breath, trying to find the words to explain what happened without causing Sam to distrust Bucky any more, though he knew it was impossible.

It was Natasha that finally spoke, “Bucky attacked me.” she says.

“WHAT?!” Sam shouts as he stands up.

“It wasn't entirely his fault,” she explains, “Tony and Clint were assholes and made him guilty about having to eat rabbits so he starved himself for two weeks. It was eventually me that got him to eat, but he was so hungry he went into some sort of zone. Clint came in and knocked him out before anyone got hurt.” she says.

Sam looks baffled and angry. “And you're okay with that, you'll let him just walk around free after he nearly killed you?”

“Like I said, no one got hurt, and the situation has been resolved. He's eating again and is too scared of of hurting Steve to ever let himself slip that far again.” she tries to calm him.

“It was going to eat you! How can you be okay with that?”

“It’s hardly the worst thing thats happened to me. This job is weird.”

Sam just gapes “You’re both insane. You are willingly putting yourselves in danger for the sake of a man eating monster. How can you-”

Steve cuts him off, “Just stop it Sam! You have to stop calling Bucky ‘it’. He's a person and deserves to be treated as such. And I've made it clear I know what I've gotten myself into, and if it really really bothers you so much, why do come here at all? Don't get me wrong, you’re my friend and i don't want stop seeing you, but if all you're going to do is strain yourself over your hatred for Bucky, then stop coming.”

Sam just bites his lip and nods, then stands up. “You’re right, its not any good for anyone for me to be here. I’ll still call, but I think I have to go.” and then he turns around and walks out the door.

Natasha huffs and shakes her head, “I’m gonna go talk to him.”

“You don't have to…”

“Yes I do, he's my friend too.”

———————

Its a few days later that Bucky is allowed back out of their apartment. after that, he spends a lot of time at the gym, working himself too exhaustion before returning home and falling asleep. It’s a week after that that Fury visits the apartment looking for Bucky.

“He should be back soon if you want to wait for him.” Steve tells him. so Fury sits himself on one of their living room chairs and stares at the door.

bucky

Fury was in their living room when Bucky gets back from the gym, and Steve is sitting with his feet tucked up under him on the couch. As soon as Bucky walks through the door, Fury stands. “So I've been thinking about your offer.” he says. Steve looks up from the book he's reading with a curious look on his face.

“And?” Bucky prompts.

“And you're going to have a trial period. I’ll send you out on a mission, without your ‘reward’, to see how you do. You'll have five agents watching you who will not hesitate to shoot should you be using this as an opportunity to get back to Hydra. Your first mission will be taking out a small group of Hydra agents trying to set up a safe house about an hour from here.”

“Are the shield agents going to part of the mission or just my baby sitters? Because I never have played well with others.” Bucky tells Fury.

“Unless you need assistance, the agents will be there simply to keep you in line.” Fury says. Bucky takes a deep breath and a small grin crosses his face.

“Thank you Fury.” Fury just looks at him for another moment, then walks out the door.

“What was that about? You're going out on missions?” Steve asks him. Bucky walks over to the couch and sits down next to Steve. “I thought you didn't want to do that anymore.”

“I don't want to do it if I'm being told to do it against my will, but I want to hunt, and if I can do that in a way that gets rid of Hydra for an organization that wants to wipe them out for good, then I'm more than willing to offer up my skills.” Bucky explains. He hopes Steve will be okay with the next part, he doubts it, but he just doesn't want to lose him. “As well, its a possibility that… that Fury will let me finish my missions the way Hydra had me do.”

Steve looks at him sharply, “Bucky, please don't tell me you want…”

“Steve, rabbits are all well and good, but its not what I was made to eat. You know that.” Bucky says quietly. Steve looks sick, like he's trying to not gag. Bucky wants to pull him into a hug, be he feels like close proximity to the monster that had just told him he still wants to eat human might not be what was best for him right now.

Steve takes a deep breath through his nose, “I just- I mean, I know that’s what you eat, but its still hard you know? I don't think that I’ll ever be okay with it, but I think I can learn to live with it. I guess I’ll have to right?”

Bucky smiles weakly. “You know I’ll never hurt you right? This doesn't mean I'm gonna go back to what I was, I've been more… human I guess, with you than I ever have been.”

“Of course I know you won’t hurt me, you've been so good Bucky, I'm so proud of you.” Bucky can’t help leaning onto Steve now. He rests his head on the young mans shoulder and lets a soft purr works its way from his chest. Maybe things would be okay. He could keep Steve and hunt, he could make himself a life that worked, a life that was good.

————————

Bucky is given a file about the small Hydra unit, four men, and the little apartment they were setting up as a safe house. He spends a half hour going through the file, which he really could have spent ten minutes on, but he wanted to do this right. He had no doubts he would be able to handle the situation, but he hasn't had a mission in a while and he wanted to do well, needed to prove that he could be trusted by SHIELD.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im not sure how to get bucky in better light with sam. I've got a few ideas, but i don't like sam hating bucky so much right now.


	16. first mission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky has his first mission and steve learns why bucky never sits on chairs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've got a lot more written, its just going back and capitalizing everything that takes time

The ride to the safe house is quiet and tense, the shield agents sitting around Bucky in the van, their hands held close to their guns while trying to not make eye contact with him. Bucky himself sat stiffly in the middle seat in his black tactical gear, his metal arm exposed and mask around his lower face. He felt the mask would remind him this was a no kill mission, that he was not allowed to eat. Fury wanted to bring the hydra agents in for questioning, so he would simply be…non lethally detaining them for the shield agents to come and pick up. 

By the time they had reached the perimeter of the safe house, Bucky had let himself slip a little from being Bucky to being more the creature. They unloaded just out of view of the safe house and made their way to a side door. the shield agents would wait outside while Bucky cleared the apartment, then come in for cleanup. 

Bucky finds himself grinning below the mask. He was out, he was hunting. He pauses outside the door and cocks his head, listening inside for signs of life. He hears three sets of foot steps in one room and one person standing and tapping their foot in another, no signs of anyone else present. Confirming he knew where the hydra agents were, Bucky took a step back and threw his weight forward on his boot, smashing the door in.

Immediately three guns are pointed in his direction, but he's on them so fast none of them can get a shot off. He smashes his metal fist into the closest ones temple, knocking him out. One down three to go. He grabs the next nearest ones gun and uses it to shoot the two other agents with guns in the knees. Their screams washed over his ears, causing a little purr to escape his mouth before he could stop it. Three down one to go. The last hydra agent had come out of the back room and was standing a ways away with his gun pointed at Bucky. 

“Winter Soldier? What are you doing?!” The mans hands are shaking slightly. Good.

Though he knew the other man couldn't see it, he was grinning savagely beneath his mask. Bucky surges forward, ducking to the side to avoid the bullets sent his way, and wraps his left hand around the guys throat, his right snapping the wrist holding the gun. Once the Hydra agent has passed out, Bucky drops him onto the floor. Four down.

After making sure all the men were still passed out, he walks out of the apartment and nods to the shield agents as he makes his way back to the van. Three off the agents storm into the apartment to detain the Hydra agents while the other two keep their eyes on Bucky.

A sense of calm has washed over Bucky. He sits in the back of the van with his eyes closed while the shield agents load the hydra operatives into the second van, three staying with them and two getting back into the van with Bucky. 

On the drive back to the shield base, Bucky’s eyes remain closed. He looks forward to seeing Steve when he gets home, to curling up with his любимец after a successful hunt, no matter how small and unchallenging it was. The hunt truly was pathetic, but it had felt good anyway. He had been able to leave the compound, smell fresh air, stretch his claws and take out a few Hydra agents. One of them had recognized him, but Bucky hopes the man doesn't know too much about him, about his words. 

By the time they reach the base its night and he is lead directly Fury’s office. Once there, Bucky sees Fury standing behind a desk looking at a computer screen, face as serious as ever. When Fury hears Bucky and the two other agents enter the room, he looks up and nods at them. Bucky is brought to the front of Fury’s desk. 

“So,” Fury starts “how’d it go?”

Mission report, mission reports he can do. “Mission successful. All four targets taken in successfully. Zero injuries to Winter Soldier or SHIELD agents.” His voice is flat, mind flashing back to all the other mission reports he's given. Fury’s eyebrow goes up at his tone, but says nothing. Fury looks to the agents, they simply nod their affirmation. 

“Very well, your next mission will be a kill mission, long distance, you'll be with Hawkeye. Again, no… eating, maybe after that i can let you off the leash a bit.” Fury tells him. “You'll get more information on your next mission shortly.” 

Bucky nods and walks out of the office, making his way to his and Steve’s apartment. he walks through the hallways and when he walks by a door, he smells rabbit. It’s not Clint’s room, and he's curious. He hears no other people in the room, so opens the door. It’s the new bunny sanctuary. Bucky smiles to himself and closes the door. 

He feels a little bad when he get home and the box of rabbits are waiting just inside the door, but he never wants another incident so he set the box in the kitchen so he could eat in the morning. He doesn't see Steve in the living room, so he goes to the bedroom to see Steve sprawled out on his side of the bed. Bucky grins, changes into his pajamas and crawls under the covers beside Steve. He stretches out and places his arm over Steve’s stomach and drifts into sleep with his nose in his любимец hair. 

——————-

Bucky wakes up to Steve sitting up in bed and gently stroking Bucky’s hair. Bucky gives a soft purr and snuggles up further into Steve’s lap. 

“Good morning,” Steve murmurs, “how’d it go yesterday?” 

“Mm, good.” he purrs. Steve’s stomach rumbles under Bucky’s ear. 

“Time for breakfast” Bucky says, sitting up and running his own hand through his hair. He gets off the bed pulls Steve along with him to the kitchen.

steve

 

Bucky leads Steve to the kitchen and has him sit down on one of the stools next to the kitchen counter. Bucky then walks around the counter into the kitchen and pulls out a pot and fills it part way with water and sets it on the stove. 

“What are you doing?” Steve asks with a little bit of a laugh in his voice.

“I,” Bucky says proudly “am making oatmeal!” He makes a flourishing movement with his hand. 

“Since when do you know how to make oatmeal?” Steve questions. 

Bucky’s eyes look down and his voice is more subdued now. “The first morning at the safe house, you made oatmeal, remember? You let the water boil over, but I picked up how to do it.” 

Steve nods. Yes he remembers. He remembers being terrified and determined to find a way to escape. He remembers the water boiling over because he had been thinking about the man eating monster that was currently making him oatmeal. God his life has become strange. And the fucking water was boiling over again.

“Bucky” he points to the pot of water. Bucky turns his head and yelps, running over to the stove to turn down the heat. Once the water has settled a little, Bucky grabs the oatmeal and pours some in. Steve watches as he does this, thinking about how his life has changed. Then a hot bowl of oatmeal is set in front of him with a container of brown sugar next to it. Steve doesn't tell Bucky that there would usually be milk and butter as well, instead just heaps a spoonful of sugar into his oatmeal. He smiles at Bucky and scoops some oatmeal into his mouth, and tears start trickling down his face. Everything that has happened to him is flashing through his mind, his being attacked and claimed by what he until recently saw as a monster, his being kidnapped by said monster. His fear for himself and his friends, his frustration and terror and mortification at this creature. The fact this monster was now making him oatmeal. It takes no time at all for him to start sobbing, and then Bucky is next to him, wrapping him in a firm hug that this time is comforting. After a while, Steve’s sobs turn into harsh breaths, that turn into calmer breathing. 

“There,” Bucky says, “do you feel better now?” Steve takes a deep breath and nods. Yeah, he felt better now. 

“Sorry” he murmurs into Bucky’s shirt. 

“It’s all right.” Bucky says. “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“No.”

“Okay, then we won’t"

“Thank you” 

Steve gets up. “You must be hungry, I know you didn't eat yesterday, so I’ll be in the living room.” Bucky grins at him and Steve walks through the hallway to the living room. He sits himself on a cushy armchair and picks up the book he keeps on the small table next to it. He tries to not listen to Bucky eating in the kitchen, but Bucky is a loud eater so he never quite succeeds. He listens to the two snaps and squeaks, then the wet ripping noise. Soon follows crunching and slurping, loud gulps through all of it. 

Steve has been able to not gag at all the last few of Bucky’s meals and is a little concerned that its not bothering him as much anymore. But he supposes that if he's going to be living with Bucky for the rest of the foreseeable future, not being bothered by it is a good thing. And Bucky was very good at cleaning up after himself so Steve didn't really have to think about what Bucky eats. When Bucky is finished eating and has cleaned himself up, he walks into the living room and stretches out on his back on the floor. 

“Why don't you ever sit in chairs?” Steve asks him “Surely the couch would be more comfortable.” 

Bucky lets out a long low growl. Steve sets down his book and sits up a little straighter in his chair. Bucky had not growled at him in a very long time. Steve is reminded again of the creature Bucky is, how dangerous he can be. For the first time in a while, a flicker of fear sweeps through him. 

“Hydra… Hydra would put me in a chair and electrocute me before saying my words, to make me more compliant, easier to control. They would torture me even though they already had full control over me. So I'm not a huge fan of chairs in general.” Bucky explains with the growl still in his voice. 

Steve’s blood has run cold with anger that they would do such a thing, but he's proud of Bucky. Proud that he was able to endure that torture and proud he was able to leave Hydra. Proud of how well he is doing now that he is free. 

Steve nods. “I’m sorry.”

“Thank you” Bucky whispers.

bucky

 

Bucky doesn't like being reminded of Hydra and his time spent with them. He feels bad for scaring Steve by growling, but he needed to make clear he did not like that subject. Instead of continuing to think about Hydra, Bucky looks through the file on his next mission that had been dropped off. He and Clint would be taking out another small Hydra group, Bucky using the sniper rifle he had been favoring in the shooting range and Clint would, of course, be using his bow. A purple bow, the man really had no dignity. The mission would be the next day and Clint would be driving them to the rooftop they would be using to shoot the six Hydra agents, who are picking up a weapons drop-off at an ill kept warehouse. A second shield team would then be in charge of coming in and picking up the weapons. 

Bucky goes to bed early, tired even though he had done nothing over the course of the day. He flops down into the bed after changing his clothes and doesn't bother pulling back the covers. Bucky lays in the cool comforter, worrying about tomorrow. He had no doubts in his ability to finish the mission, but he had not seen clint since the bunny sanctuary. Natasha says Clint had apologized, but Bucky felt sick to his stomach knowing it wasn't Clint fault at all, but his own. Clint had been right really, Bucky knew that. So he was scared, he was scared of how he would work with Clint when Clint rightfully placed so little trust in him. 

Bucky is brought out of his mind when Steve slides under the covers and snuggles up to Bucky from between the blankets. 

“G’night Bucky” Steve murmurs, then wiggles closer to Bucky and falls asleep. 

“Goodnight Stevie” he whispers.


	17. clint

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clint needs coffee and talks about his dog

It’s fairly early in the morning when Bucky hears a soft knock at the door of their apartment. He manages to get up without disturbing Steve and walks over to the door. He opens it to find a gloomy and sleepy Clint. 

“Please tell me you have coffee” Clint manages to say. Bucky has a hard time not laughing at him, but opens the door and gestures Clint inside and leads him to the kitchen.

“I don't know how to make coffee so you'll have to do that yourself, but here’s where everything is.” Clint shuffles through their kitchen and starts a pot of coffee. Once done, he hops onto the counter, turns and stares at Bucky. Bucky has to work to not fidget, nervous under clint gaze. He was still unsure of where he stood with the archer.

“So,” Clint says after a short silence, “why are they sending both of us? Either of us are qualified to do the job solo.”

“Well they won’t send just you because they want to test me and they won’t send just me because they don't trust me, so you're my babysitter.” 

“I haven't had enough coffee to be a babysitter yet.” Clint whines. The coffee pot dings. “A problem soon to be resolved, sweet.” Clint gets off the counter and walks to the pot, picks it up, and begins to drink the coffee out of the pot. 

“We have cups…?” Bucky says questioningly. 

Clint finishes a big gulp of what must be extremely hot coffee and replies “Yeah, but I'm drinking it all by myself anyways, why go through the work of pouring it into a cup? Nah, just drink it straight from the pot.” 

So they sit in silence for a while as Clint drinks his coffee and Bucky gets and drinks a glass of milk as the sun comes out. After a while they hear shuffling in the bedroom and Steve comes out in his pajamas. 

“Oh, hey Clint, what are you doing here?” he asks Clint.

“Bucky and I have a mission today and I was out of coffee, which is something I need to survive.” Clint explains, holding on to his pot of coffee as if afraid someone might take it from him. 

“Ooookay. well, good luck to you guys. I personally am hungry, you want any cereal Clint?” Steve offers.

“I’m good with just this” he holds up his coffee, “but thank you” Steve nods and moves to the cabinets to grab his cereal. Bucky watches him as he drinks his milk, and presses up to Steve when he sits next to Bucky at the counter. Bucky closes his eyes and lets his любимец scent seep into his nose.

 

clint

 

Clint had argued with himself for a while as to whether he should stop by Steve and Bucky’s apartment before the mission, but eventually his lack of coffee made the decision for him. There are priorities in life, and coffee is very much one of them, even trumping his mild not unfounded fear of a possibly pissed off monster. 

But Bucky is perfectly civil and didn't seem all that upset about needing a babysitter, and if anything seemed a little nervous around Clint. Which maybe made sense, Clint had shot him. But still, squishy human drinking coffee vs metal armed assassin creature, why was Bucky nervous? Not that Clint didn't value his own frankly awesome skills, he just was comfortable enough with his own ability to admit he knew when he was beat. 

So he is sitting in a monsters kitchen drinking its coffee, and was going to later go on a mission with said monster. He would be alone with Bucky for quite a while today, and hoped they could continue their truce through the end of the mission. 

 

—————————

 

Clint and Bucky are setting up on a roof a ways from their targets, Clint assembling his bow and Bucky setting up his rifle. On the ride over, Bucky had been silent, unnervingly so. His face had had a blank look to it that reminded clint that Bucky had been a slave of hydra when he'd done all those horrible missions, not a willing operative. But as they were setting up on the roof, Bucky seemed almost cheerful, in a wicked sort of way. The grin on his face had a flash of teeth and his claws were extended, something Clint had only seen when Bucky was angry or hungry. So he was a little nervous, being in close proximity to Bucky right now, but he had a feeling these emotions Bucky were feeling are directed toward the Hydra agents. Clint wonders if he’ll have to be with Bucky on his next mission. Fury had told Clint that on Bucky’s next mission the creature would be allowed to eat parts of the dead Hydra agents. Clint had had to fight not to gag when he had been told this, his brain immediately going to graphic images of hydra agents strewn in multiple pieces across a room, blood dripping from a grinning Bucky’s mouth. 

“Clint.” A low voice pulls him from his own brain. Clint shakes his head, ridding himself of the images in his mind. 

“Yeah, sorry, whats up?” He apologized, looking over at Bucky, who is kneeling on the ground looking through his scope.

“They’re here” Bucky informs him quietly. Clint nods and looks in the warehouses direction. Sure enough, a group of four people were entering the building to meet the two already there with the weapons. 

“Alright, plan of attack,” Clint instructs Bucky “I’ll cover the exits, and you get what you can while they're meeting. Sound good?” Bucky just nods, still looking through the scope of his rifle. 

They wait until the six agents are clustered around the boxes of weapons. Then there’s and short bang and the first agent goes down. Five more shots go off and clint is distracted from Bucky’s perfect shots by a low rumbling coming from him. At first clint thinks its growling and gets very nervous, but after a moment he realizes its purring. Bucky is purring while killing six people. Granted, they were Hydra agents, but still. It was kinda creepy.

Bucky gave what seemed to be a satisfied huff and began packing up his rifle as shield agents move into the warehouse to seize the weapons. Clint watches him pick up his stowed rifle and jumps off the roof. Just jumps off. Clint scrabbles to the edge of the roof and looks down to see Bucky crouching on the ground. He straightens up, looks at Clint, and gives a little wave before walking off toward the shield vehicle. Show off.

Clint and Bucky meet back at Clint’s car to make the drive back to the shield base. This time Bucky isn't stone faced, he just looks bored. 

“So,” clint breaks the silence after about a half hour of driving, “If you ever wanted to uh, well, say hi to Snowball or something, you could come over I guess. Not that you have to! But if you feel the urge to just snuggle a bunny, you can come to me.”

Bucky is now looking at Clint with a look on his face that told Clint that Bucky clearly thought he was insane. “Why?”

“Well, I don't know, everyone needs snuggly time with something, and I get you snuggle with Steve, but if you maybe wanted to snuggle a rabbit. I actually have a dog too, he's at my other place being taken care of by a friend right now.” Clint misses pizza dog “I’ve gotta see if Fury will let me have him on base now that we already have animals, he gets so lonely and Kate can’t be with him all day. At the base there would be so many people to pay attention to him. Yeah, I’ll ask Fury about it.” Clint realizes he got off topic, but Lucky’ll do that to him. He just loves that stupid one-eyed dog. 

Bucky keeps his eyes on Clint through his whole ramble. “Thank you. I don't think I will, but thank you.” He finally says after Clint is done. He then looks back out the passenger side window to watch buildings pass. 

They reach the base and Clint parks the car, hopping out and stretching his hands above his head. He should get an elephant like they had in the circus, then he could just ride the elephant to wherever he needs to go. He'd be nicer to the elephant though. He'd name it Dumbo. Like any sane person would name their elephant. He’s still thinking about elephants when they get to Fury’s office for their debrief. 

Once they've been let inside, Bucky and Clint stand side by side in front of Fury’s desk, Clint looking at Fury while Bucky keeps his gaze averted to the floor. 

“Bucky, mission report” Fury clips out.

“All targets eliminated sir, zero injuries to the Winter Soldier or Clint Barton.” Bucky’s tone is flat and emotionless, and it worries Clint a little, as does him referring to himself as the Winter Soldier. Had Fury told him to do that, or was that just something that was drilled into him by Hydra, as if he were a title rather than a person…thing. But it was nice that part of what Bucky viewed as his job was to make sure clint wasn't hurt. Always a plus to have a deadly assassin watching your back. 

 

bucky

 

Bucky makes his way back to Steve and his apartment at a slow pace. He felt no need to rush, and he was tired. When he got to their door, he hears shouting from inside. Without thinking he rushes in snarling, must protect Steve, must. What he finds when he gets in is Tony Stark cowering without actually cowering in the corner while Steve shouted at him. 

“What the hell is wrong with you? I'm being held captive by you guys, not Bucky! jeez, we both are! How dare you come in here and try to tell me whats going on in my own life, and how dare you think you know whats best for me?! How about you turn around and fuck off yeah?” 

Bucky is in the doorway with a smile on his face. It was nice to see Steve’s temper be let out on someone other than himself. He's still smiling when Tony turns around sees him standing in the doorway. Tony pales a fraction, but keeps a straight face as he walks past Bucky. Kudos for that he supposes. Once Tony is out the door, Bucky turns and grins at Steve. 

“So what was that about?”

Steve scowls “He was just being an ass, don't worry about it. How'd it go with Clint?”

“Went well. Clint offered to let me visit with Snowball. I said no, but it was nice of him.” Bucky says walking into the living room to stand by Steve. He pauses. There has been something that has been niggling in his brain for a while, that he wants to ask Steve, but has been too cowardly to actually say. Bucky takes a deep breath. “Do you want to leave?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Steve asks, turning to face Bucky. 

“SHIELD, do you want to leave the SHIELD base. Go back home.”Bucky clarifies. 

“Well, of course I do. I miss my apartment, I miss my bed, I miss my art supplies, I've got commissions to finish and commissioners to apologize to, I just miss having a life.” Steve says, his voice tired. “But I know its dangerous. I know Hydra wants me dead, and want you back, and I know that I'm safer here with Natasha and you and SHIELD. But yeah, I want to go home.”

Bucky is looking at his feet. this is all his fault. It’s because of him Steve can’t go home, it’s because he was too dangerous to leave with Steve alone. Because he couldn't finish a stupidly easy mission that Steve was in this situation. Because of him Steve is stuck without his home and his things and without his friend Sam. His fault. His fault his любимец was miserable. His fault…

“Bucky?” Steve’s soft voice pulls him from his mind. Bucky blinks away the tears that are misting his eyes. 

“I'm sorry любимец, I'm so sorry for all of this.” He pulls Steve into a tight embrace, breathing deeply into his hair. He slips his head down and settles his nose into the crook of Steve’s neck, surrounding himself in Steve’s scent. “I’m sorry.” 

“It’s alright Bucky, this wasn't your fault, I know that, you had no choice. But you saved me, and I'm so thankful for that.” Steve is rubbing Bucky’s back comfortingly, pressing his own face into Bucky’s chest. Bucky’s breaths have turned into shuddering gasps, trying to hold back the tears he felt. He did not argue with Steve that it was his fault, did not say he had not rescued him for Steve’s sake, but for his own. Instead he just buries his nose into Steve’s neck further.


	18. vents

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> theres a mystery in the vents and a camp to be set up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry its been a while, been busy. i have a lot written, but editing takes forever. thanks if you've stuck around

It’s the middle of the night and Bucky wakes up to the sound of muffled singing. Singing in Clint’s voice. From the ceiling. Clint is singing in their ceiling. Why. And how. And why. Bucky gets up, careful not to disturb Steve, and walks toward the singing. He hears it coming from around their bathroom, but its moving. When Bucky gets to the bathroom, he realizes Clint is in the vents. He follows Clint back out of the bathroom and into the hallway outside their apartment for a ways when Clint stops halfway between his apartment and Bucky’s. He seems to be at a exciting part of the song so has paused his vent crawling, so Bucky looks around for a vent he can use to get into the ceiling. He finds one and pulls the grate from the opening and hops up so he can pull himself up into the vents. He crawls through the vents toward Clint, who has a headlamp on, and stops a few meters behind him. Clint has reached the end of his song, so starts over again. Bucky rolls his eyes, crawls forward a bit more, and taps Clint’s leg. Clint screams, and tries to turn around but they're in a tiny vent and theres not much room so he ends up just slamming his head against the side and knocking the headlamp from his head. 

“Futz, ow, holy shit who is there!?” Clint spits out in a rush.

“Why are you singing in the vents?” Bucky asks as a reply.

“Bucky? When did you get up here? Why are you up here? I was… uh… the vents are a good way to get around, and why wouldn't I sing ‘Secret Agent Man’ in the vents in the middle of the night? Did I ask why you're here?” Clint is panicked, one hand clutching his chest in an exaggerated gesture of shock and the other replacing the light to his head.

“Yeah, its me. I followed you from our apartment. Is this a common occurrence, you being in the vents?” Bucky answers.

“Uh, yeah. I like the vents. They're up high, and no one really thinks about them, so I can hide forever in them. Don’t usually sing, but I just watched that movie and it was stuck in my head. I've got a nest above my room too if you want to see it?” Clint sounds excited when talking about his nest, so Bucky smiles and nods his head.

“Sure, yeah, that'd be cool.” Clint pumped his fist and continued his crawl through the vents, humming the tune to the song he had been singing earlier. Bucky follows him through the vents until they reach a intersection where three vents meet together. In the middle, a pile of blankets and pillows take up a majority of the space. To the side is an unstrung bow on a little hook and a quiver of arrows against the wall of the vent. 

“I've fortified beneath the vents so it can really hold me being up here. The vents in this place are really sturdy anyways, but I wanted my nest to be secure you know?” Clint explains excitedly, “Oh! and I've got one of my bows up here, not sure why I’d need it, but I like having them around. And here” he pulls out a plastic storage box from beneath a blanket, “I have protein bars and waters and some cereal. But only cereal thats good to eat by itself, since I cant keep milk up here.” Clint turns and grins at him. Bucky cant help but smile back, the other mans enthusiasm infectious. He notes that Clint does not flinch when his teeth are shown, and it sends a little bit of joy through him. He and Clint would be okay. 

———————-

A week passes and Bucky has begun his own nest in the vent above his and Steve’s room. His is much tidier than Clint’s, the blankets and pillows laid out carefully instead of piled in a mound. He has multiple knives hidden around his nest. He really has to come up with a better name for it than nest, but he cant think of anything. Bucky follows Clint’s lead and has a box of water bottles in the corner, but no food. On top of the box he has a small L.e.d lantern that gives off just enough light to allow him to see everywhere in the small space but isn't blindingly bright. 

When he's done with his…ugh, nest, he goes to Clint’s apartment and knocks on the door. Clint opens the door and seems a fair bit surprised it’s Bucky standing there.

“Uh, hey, whats up?” Clint asks cautiously.

“I want to show you something, can you come over for a sec?” Bucky invites.

“Um, sure, you're not gonna eat me right, cus I heard that that was a thing you were planning.” Clint jokes.

“Nah, not right now. Not hungry. But come on, lets take the vents.” And so he walks a little down the hall to a vent grate, pops it off and jumps into the vent. Clint hops up after him and follows Bucky to his… encampment, yes, that was a better name.

When they turn the corner to where Bucky has set up his own little blanket camp, Clint lets out a pleased laugh. “Dude! That’s awesome! Oh, yours is so much tidier than mine, now I feel like I have to clean up. And look at your little lantern, oh that’s cool.” Clint continues to sweep his gaze around the encampment, taking everything in. “Have you shown Steve yet? Or is this an alone spot? Well, i doubt Steve can get up here anyways. Dude’s awesome but he's short.”

“I've shown Steve. He thinks its too claustrophobic, so it'll be just mine. He's converting the spare bedroom into an art studio so he can have his own ‘alone spot’.” Bucky tells Clint. Steve had seemed pretty excited about his art studio. He has two desks pushed together in a ‘L’ shape in front of window, which had made Bucky nervous, windows mean possibilities of snipers, but Steve assured him he was safe, there was no places for a sniper and no way one could get near the SHIELD base. There is cabinet for all his different art pads and paints, a colored pencil organizer, cups with his paintbrushes, and finished drawings and paintings taped up on the wall. On one of the desks is a small fish-tank with a bright red beta fish and a few snails Natasha had brought for Steve. It was a nice space, and Bucky was happy for Steve that he was able to create it for himself.

“That sounds like it will be cool, I hope it turns out good for him.” Clint says. 

“I know he'd rather go home, but I think he is happy with how his studio is turning out.” Bucky replies, a little forlornly. 

“Oh, yeah. that must be tough, not being able to go home. You guys don't have much to do here do you?” clint questions. Bucky crawls forward a little and stretches out on his back over the blankets. 

“We’re okay, it’s getting better. This art studio will make it so Steve can continue making money and has something to do, and the gym is a good place for me, and I've got missions now.” Bucky answers. 

“That still seems like not a lot to do, I wish I could do something to help you guys out.” Clint insists, sitting at the end of one of the blankets. Bucky rolls over onto his side so that he's facing the archer.

“Thanks Clint” he says softly.

“No problem” Clint replies.

They sit in silence for a few moments, and then Clint says his goodbyes and shuffles away through the vents. Bucky drops down from his blanket camp onto their bed and replaces the grate to the opening of the vent, sealing away his hideout. He knows its not secret, there are cameras that would not allow any kind of secrecy, but it gives the illusion of something he can run away and hide to. Not that he runs and hides often, but retreat is sometimes a sound tactic. Especially when one has such an awesome place to retreat to. 

Bucky walks out of the bedroom through the living room to the kitchen and pours himself a glass of milk. He stands by the fridge, drinking his milk and wondering when he’ll get the file on his next mission. He's bored. It’s been a week since his mission with Clint and he his bored. 

He’s almost done drinking his milk when Steve walks into the kitchen and begins to gather supplies for a sandwich. “So you're getting along better with Clint I take it? I could hear you guys in the vents.” Steve says as he assembles his lunch. 

“Yeah. he's a good person, I like him. He's strange, but good.” Bucky replies.

“He is strange isn't he?”


	19. feeding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky and clint have a mission and clint misses his dog

clint

 

Clint was not looking forward to this mission. Three days have passed since Bucky had shown Clint his own vent nest, and their mission together was the next day. Clint knew that on this mission, Bucky had permission to do whatever he wanted to the bodies of the hydra agents. which meant he was allowed to eat them. Oh god, Clint was going to have to watch Bucky eat humans. Watching him devour the rabbit was horrible, he had nearly thrown up before stealing Snowball, but now he had to witness… that.

When Bucky had first arrived at the shield base, Clint had expected a vicious hydra worshipping monster called the Winter Soldier. Instead he got an overprotective self deprecating Hydra hating creature that liked to be called Bucky. So yeah, it had taken him a while to adjust his view, but now he was afraid it was just going to be shifted back. That Bucky would once again in his head become a man eating monster. Clint just hopes Bucky doesn't forget who he is again, the way he had after not eating for two weeks. When he had tried to kill Nat. Clint swallows, remembering Bucky’s face. His mouth had been pulled up into a snarl, sharp teeth bared, brow furrowed but eyes dead. Would Clint see that again? Probably, only this time blood would be on his face, a mutilated body at his feet instead of a living Natasha. 

Clint decided he needed to go to bed early, try to get as much sleep as he could, so he makes sure Snowball is set for the night and hops into the vents to his nest. he doesn't sleep in his vent-nest every night, but it was nice when he felt like he wanted extra security. 

Clint stretches out over his messy pile of blankets and pulls a particularly fuzzy one over himself. Because if he wanted a fuzzy blanket he would have one dang it. So he shifts until he's comfortable, closes his eyes, and drifts off into an unrestful sleep. 

——————————-

 

There was blood everywhere. Clint had truly underestimated how messy Bucky eating would be. Once all of the Hydra agents were dead or incapacitated, either by Bucky’s hand or clint arrows, the creature knelt down by an agent who was still spluttering blood from his mouth and ripped off the tactical vest that was supposed to protect him. Without killing him first, Bucky began to rip into the man.

From his vantage point on a fire escape outside a window, Clint watched as Bucky’s teeth sank into the flesh of the mans chest and tore away bite sized chunks, then as they were swallowed down. The assassin kept eating long after what clint would have thought could be the equivalent of two rabbits, moving to the mans abdomen and insides once he had reached the ribs on his chest. At one point, Bucky sticks his whole arm up through the mans abdomen and into his chest and pulls out what clint assumes is the heart. he sets this aside for what clint can only assume to be saved for last, as if this was a particularly special piece. Once Bucky is done with the mans body, he comes back to the heart. He sits down on the floor, stretching out his legs and examines the heart, like he was evaluating a piece of meat, seeing if it was good enough for consumption. It must have been, because the heart is soon gone, just like the rest of most of the what had been a person, but was now a smear of bones and viscera across the floor. Pieces Bucky had not eaten were strewn across the room, bits of arms and legs, organs he had not wanted, a couple ribs that got in the way. 

Clint has to take deep breaths through the whole thing, swallowing down bile. This job had never been the most lovely; it was often messy, violent, bloody, but this was different, this was… this was carnage. 

Clint is glad they had not taken his car, but instead a SHIELD vehicle, as Bucky was coated in blood and bits of flesh. there were no wounds on Bucky, none of the blood was his own. as he gets into the car, he had a contented look on his face, the kind of look one has after a huge really good meal, like thanksgiving. An occasional soft purr will come from Bucky, quickly stifled, like Bucky wanted to be purring his heart out, but had the courtesy not to. Clint thinks he may become a vegetarian. 

bucky

 

Bucky felt good, really good. He was full, full of good meat that came from people who had been his captors for over seventy years. He sat next to clint, trying not to purr, but failing. He just felt so good. Bucky’s eyes closed. The car was warm, he felt safe with Clint, knew he would not hurt him, and he had just had a larger feeding then he had had in a very long time. Bucky drifted into sleep. 

He wakes up to Clint softly calling his name. “Bucky, we’re back, wake up.” Bucky blinked his eyes open, lets his gaze fall on Clint. The man looked uncomfortable, and Bucky figured their tentative friendship had taken a few steps backwards due to todays events, but that was okay, they would work it out. He hoped. 

Bucky gets out of the car and his uniform crackles with dried blood. he brushes off the worst of it then follows clint inside and they begin their walk to Fury’s office. 

“Are you uh, are you still you?” Clint asks about half way there. So thats what Clint was so nervous about, he was worried that Bucky had gone into another zone. Understandable, as he sort of had when he had been eating, but right now he was himself. Bucky notices they are in a hallway with a lot of exits available should Clint need to use them. Smart, if clint thinks Bucky isn't in his right mind. 

“Yeah, I'm me.” Bucky affirms. 

“Oh good.” Clint breathes. Bucky snorts. He looks sideways at Clint, who is tapping the fingers of one hand together nervously. 

“Are you going to ask about your dog?” Bucky questions.

Clint looks at him. “You think I should?”

“Well, I'm certain he'd be happier here with you than alone at your apartment, and I don't think I've ever met a nice dog. I’d like to meet him.” he reasons. Clint nods. They reach the door to Fury’s office and clint raises a fist and knocks. The door slides open and Fury is standing in front of his window, gazing out at the expansive lawn outside his office. He turns to clint and Bucky as they walk in and blinks when he sees Bucky. 

“I take it it went well” he drawls. Bucky just grins.

“Uh, yes sir.” Clint says, glancing between Bucky and Fury. “All the targeted hydra operatives have been eliminated, and Bucky… he… yeah, it went well.” he finished awkwardly, clearly not wanting to touch on the subject of Bucky feeding.

“Mhm. I see.” he pauses and looks them over again. “Anything else?”

“Actually, yes sir. I have a dog, and I’d really like to bring him here. He's very well behaved, never barks, and I just think Lucky would be a lot happier here.” 

“Lucky huh?” Fury says, an eyebrow lifted. 

“Yes sir” Clint replies, keeping his gaze forward. 

“Fine, bring the fleabag.” Fury consents.

“Thank you sir!” Clint pumps his fist and jumps a little into the air.

Fury rolls his eye. “Dismissed barton. Go get your dog.” Clint jumps again and sprints out the door while pulling out his phone. Bucky watches him go with a small grin on his face. He looked forward to meeting the dog.

“So,” fury says, “I saw the video a SHIELD agent took. You're quite a messy eater.”

Bucky smiles, bits of flesh still stuck in his teeth. “I saw no point in trying to be neat, this was a threat to Hydra was it not? You wanted it to be messy, or you wouldn't have sent me.” 

“Thats true.” Fury concedes, “But its still a bit, disturbing shall we say, to watch.”

“Theres an easy solution to your problem Fury. just don't watch.” Bucky says. Fury narrows his eye. “Can i go take a shower now?” Bucky requests. “Sir.” he adds, a little sarcastically. Fury nods and waves his hand, dismissing him. Bucky turns and leaves the office and begins his walk to his and Steves apartment. Anyone he passes quickly avert their eyes, not wanting to look at the monster coated in blood walking amongst them. The part of him that is the creature feels satisfaction; they should be afraid. He is dangerous and should be feared. But another small part of him wishes he'd had the opportunity to change before having to walk through the halls. 

Steve is with Natasha, so Bucky can walk into their apartment without having to worry about upsetting him. He grabs jeans and red long sleeved shirt before heading to the shower. Bucky savors the hot water running over him, remembering the cold washes he would get via hose with Hydra. Once he's scrubbed over his body multiple times, making certain he's gotten all the blood from himself, he steps out of the shower and towels himself off. He steps into his clothes and drops his uniform into a hamper, knowing someone will come in and have it cleaned by morning. He scrubs his teeth with his toothbrush and plenty of toothpaste, getting bits of flesh from between his fangs and ensuring all the blood has been cleaned away. Once he's done, he walks to the bedroom, tired even though it was only the afternoon. Bucky stretches out on his back and falls asleep quickly.


	20. isolation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> steve is freaked out bucky misunderstands

steve

 

When Steve gets back to the apartment, he finds Bucky stretched out on the bed, sleeping. From his stretched out position and tight shirt, Steve can see Bucky’s stomach noticeably distended. He shudders, knowing exactly why and what with Bucky was so full. Steve turns and walks to the living room and picks up the book he's been reading. He tries to concentrate on the story, but he can’t help but think about Bucky; what Bucky did. His mind flashes to his first encounter with Bucky, all the blood, the muffled screams. A monster eating a person alive. Had they come back to that? Would Bucky go back to being that? Steve knows Bucky said he wouldn’t, but his treacherous mind strayed that way anyway. To Bucky with a dead eyed stare and a snarling mouth. To Bucky tearing out flesh from a mans shoulder and swallowing it. To Bucky smiling savagely while blood is dripping from his lips. 

He places the book on the table and rests his head on his knees. There is a creature in the bed he sleeps in whose stomach is full of human flesh. A creature that a few months ago would have just as quickly been full of his flesh instead. But Bucky hadn’t.

Steve was alive, he was safe, and the creature in his bed had no intentions of harming him. So he gets up and walks to the bedroom with his book and sits down on the bed next to Bucky, leaning against the headboard and bending his knees so he can rest the book on his thighs. Bucky stirs and shifts so his back is pressed against Steve. He quickly falls back into a deep sleep with a small smile on his face. 

Steve sighs, knowing this creature next to him was dangerous, but at this moment, not really caring. 

bucky

 

Bucky likes having the choice to wake up slowly. He can take his time getting out of a comfortable bed without having to worry about taser sticks or blasts of cold water or electric chairs. he can stretch out and wrap himself around his любимец, not having to worry about it all being a dream.

And so as he wakes up, he wakes up slowly, feeling content, still full, and warm. He's next to Steve, his source of warmth and sense of safety. He stretches out and moves his right arm over Steve’s middle, securing him, anchoring himself to him. Steve stirs and turns against buckys embrace. 

“Morning любимец.” Bucky says. Bucky sighs deeply, relaxed. Steve moves to sit up so Bucky removes his arm from him and rolls onto his back, opening his eyes. Steve slides out of bed and Bucky rolls over to take up the space warm from Steve’s body. He breathes in Steve’s scent and wraps himself back up with the blanket. Bucky doesn't want to get out of bed, but he knows he should, so he flings the blankets off himself and sits up. 

Bucky huffs, then stands and follows Steve out to the kitchen, where he's taken out a bowl and has begun pouring himself cereal. Bucky goes to the fridge and pulls out the milk, pouring himself a glass before handing it over to Steve for his cereal. Steve pours his milk and puts it back in the fridge and grabs a spoon. He goes and sits at the table, eating his cereal with his head ducked down, not looking at Bucky. Bucky frowns and sits next to Steve. 

“Are you okay?” he murmurs to Steve. Steve swallows and nods, but doesn't look up. Bucky looks at Steve, who is staring very intently at his cereal. Bucky’s eyes drift downward. “You don't like what I did.” he guesses.

Steve sighs and puts down his spoon. “No, Bucky, no i don’t. Just, just give me a bit to adjust to it okay? I mean, I come home knowing that you just… how can I be automatically okay with that? You know I saw you, at my house? I didn't stay in the closet. I saw you eat someone, and thats all I could think about yesterday, knowing that that was what you were doing. Praying that you didn't come back being that creature, a creature with no regard to me, only thinking about what it wanted and ready to kill anyone that got in its way. So no, I don't like it, I'm not okay with it, and it’s kind of hard to be around you right now, but I also know you're not going to stop so II’ll just have to deal with it, like I have to deal with not seeing Sam and not being in my own apartment and not having a life.” Steve exhales forcefully and goes back to eating his now soggy cereal. 

Bucky stares at his feet, then gets up and walks out of the apartment. He wanders the halls of the compound aimlessly for a while, not wanting to go to the gym, not wanting to go anywhere with people. He passes a few in the hall, but as usual they duck their heads keep walking. 

Finally, he finds himself outside the new bunny sanctuary. He remembers petting the soft fur of the rabbits, its soothing effect, and walks in. Bucky sits against a wall and lets the rabbits decide if they want to come to him or not. Eventually a white and grey one with floppy ears hops up to him and sniffs him cautiously. Then it jumps up onto Bucky’s legs and lets him pet it. Bucky pets it’s fur gently with his flesh hand. 

Bucky knows Steve doesn't like his choice of food, and can understand it. Bucky is killing and eating members of Steve’s own species. He knows he would detest thought of eating one of his own, understands that even though Steve didn't know Bucky’s prey, it was still an unthinkable act. 

And how can Bucky blame Steve’s behavior toward him. Perhaps it was better if he didn't see his любимец, if Steve didn't have to see him. The thought breaks Bucky’s heart, but if the sight of Bucky is so detestable to Steve, then Bucky would keep himself away.

Bucky lifts the rabbit off of his lap and pulls his knees to his chest and tucks his head between them. In a way he misses Hydra. Things were simpler, he didn't have to think beyond how to finish his mission; he knew what to expect, even if it was just pain. He didn't have to worry about keeping himself in check, his words would do that for him. In a way he misses being under the control of his words, he misses Hydra, he misses missions, he misses the cryo tank, it’s cold dreamless sleep. 

Tears are falling down buckys face, he doesn't try to stop it. Who was here to care? Who had ever cared. Perhaps Steve had, for a while, but who could ever truly care about a monster.   
Thats all he was, a monster that needed a leash. Steve carried that leash, but if he wanted nothing to do with Bucky, then someone else had to carry the end. But who would want it? 

The rabbit has hopped back over to him, has pressed itself up against Bucky. He looks down at it, at the fragile little life that is sitting next to him. He reaches down and pets it slowly, scratching carefully behind its ears. 

It’s Stark that finally interrupts him. The man walks in but stops when he sees Bucky. Bucky looks up and nods at Stark before going back to petting the rabbit. Stark cautiously steps across the room to some large storage bins and opens them, scooping rabbit food out of one and filling the bowls in various places around the room, then pulls hay out of the next one and piles it on a low platform in the corner of the sanctuary. He then sits at the opposite corner of the room than Bucky. 

“So,” Stark starts, “what brings you here?” Bucky looks up. “Oh my god, have you been crying? You cry? That’s a thing you do? You know, I really would like to ask you some questions, I want to know more about you, how does that arm work? Can I take some scans of it? Hell, can I open it up? I’ll be gentle, I promise. can I-” Bucky cuts him of with a growl. 

“You can not look at it, it’s mine, one of the few things that actually are. And the arm is wired into my nervous system, going through it would be like surgery. The only reason I didn't kill any hydra tech that did was…” his words, he had not meant to allude to those. He did not want SHIELD to know about them. 

Or did he? It would surely make his life simpler, easier. When under control of the words, his brain functioned at a lower level, he became more animalistic. Life was less complicated, less overwhelming, less… just less. 

“Was?” stark prompts. Bucky snarls again. Then takes a deep breath. Pets the rabbit one last time. Closes his eyes. He stands and walks out the door, closing it gently behind him. He doesn't look to see Stark’s reaction to him, just walks down the hall. He makes his way through the base toward his and Steve’s apartment. Bucky walks in and begins gathering his things into a duffel bag. He doesn't own much, or anything really. Any clothes he had came from SHIELD, he had no things. Once an adequate supply of clothes have been stuffed into the bag, Bucky goes out the door and walks to the apartment originally meant for him. He opens the door and steps in. Everything is the same as Steve’s apartment, but with a slight coat of dust. Bucky goes to the bedroom and puts down the bag, then proceeds to rip all the blankets off the bed. He then opens up the vents and throws everything up, then climbs in himself. He sits in the vents for a moment before beginning to set up a new blanket camp. 

Once finished he curls up in the middle of the blankets and closes his eyes, willing himself to sleep. 

steve

 

Steve hasn’t seen Bucky in days. The rabbits aren't dropped off anymore and Bucky’s blanket fort in the vents has been dismantled. Steve has checked the gym every day after the first night Bucky hadn't come to bed, but nothing. Steve thinks back to his rant to Bucky. He had basically told Bucky he didn't want to see him, and now Bucky was nowhere to be seen. Steve hadn’t… he didn't want… Bucky wasn't supposed to just disappear. 

bucky

 

Bucky only left the vents to eat. the rest of the time he spent either sitting in a corner twirling a knife between his metal fingers, listening to the sharp clinking noise it made, or sleeping. About a week into his self imposed isolation, he hears soft shuffling coming towards him in the vents. A low growl works its way out of his throat, echoing in the small space. The shuffling stops for a moment before resuming. Then clint pops his head around the corner.

“Hey Bucky.” he greets softly, as if talking to a fractious dog. Close enough Bucky supposes. “Steves worried about you, you cant just disappear like this.” Bucky growls again. “Oh, um, have you eaten at all?” clint asks, backing up a little. Bucky huffs but nods. “Oh good. Okay. Hey, my dog is here now, if you wanted to come over and see him.” Bucky just shakes his head. “Okay then. Well, you need anything, you know where I live. Even if it’s just to talk okay? or even not talk, just hang out. But, I cant believe I'm saying this, you cant just live in the vents.” With that clint shuffles away again. And then scoots back. “Oh yeah, and we've got a mission in two days. You get to do your thing. Natasha’s coming too, you two will be on the ground, I’ll be up high with my bow. Soooo, yeah. Okay, now bye.” Then he moves back through the vents toward his own apartment. Bucky just curls himself back up into a ball and closes his eyes.

——————————-

 

Two days later Bucky is sitting outside Clints apartment in his tactical uniform, waiting for the archer to get ready. After a few minutes of him waiting, Clint walks out the door and promptly falls on his face trying to avoid Bucky. Bucky cant help the little laugh that escapes him. 

“Oh yeah, laugh it up.” Clint grumbles, pushing himself off the floor. Bucky just grins at him. Clint brushes himself off with a faux dignified look on his face. “Well, lets head over to the parking lot. God help us, Natasha is driving.” Bucky stands up and they make their way to the cars. Bucky still doesn't know where Natasha stays, and doubts she’d tell him if asked. But she's waiting for them at the garage, and its none of Bucky’s concern, so he forgets about it.

Their mission is simple, get in, kill or capture everyone, get the info needed. Natasha was in charge of gathering intel. Bucky is shown pictures of men and women he is not allowed to kill. This was an easy mission, and had a good reward at the end. He wouldn't mess this one up. 

—————————

 

Bucky doesn't know what the man below him is gasping, trying to say, and really doesn't care. This is not one of the men he needs to keep alive, so he can have some fun with him. Bucky lets the man wriggle out from under his claws and stumble a few steps before he sweeps out a foot and trips him again. There’s a thud as the man falls back to the floor. He repeats his game a few times, waiting for Natasha to get the information she needs. She doesn't have to do much interrogating, they all see what Bucky is doing and decides its better to just tell the lady what she wants to know rather than to have the Winter Soldier toy with them. When Bucky tires of his game, he kicks the man to the floor crouches on top of him, one knee in the mans gut. The man is crying out, asking for help, begging for the Winter Soldier to ‘stop, please, just stop’. Fine, he’ll stop. So Bucky leans down and begins eating. The hydra agents screams fill the room, dying out slowly as Bucky rips him apart, munching on this at that. When the mans screams have stopped, Bucky hears a familiar mumbling across the room. No. No no no no no.


	21. ready to comply

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky is ready to comply and steve apologizes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. I've finished writing the first draft of this story, and thats all this has been, a first draft. do you want me to continue posting chapters as they are? what I'm going to do is go back through this and completely redo it basically, but I'm thinking ill just get what I've done posted then go back and add stuff in. tell me what you guys want!

clint

 

It’s like watching a car crash. It’s gruesome and bloody and all you want to do is look away but you can’t. You just stand there watching events unfold while there is nothing you can do about it. 

That’s how Clint feels when he sees Bucky eating. It’s horrible and terrifying, and he's playing with the guy, like a cat with a mouse. But then Bucky freezes, and Clint cant help but tense up as well. Then Bucky is on his feet and lunges frantically toward another agent, who is muttering something, but stops inches away from her, panting.

“Ready to comply.” Bucky says, voice monotone, looking straight at the agent. well thats not good. the creepy agent woman smiles, a relieved, manic, triumphant smile. Oh thats really not good. crap, had his fight with Steve really messed him up this bad, that he would go back to Hydra? Then again, Bucky wasn't human, his emotions might not work the same, who knows what goes through his head. 

bucky

 

“Ready to comply.” Comply. Comply. What does the handler want, what does the handler need. The handler is smiling, is the creature doing well? 

“Soldier, can you hear me?” The handler asks it. The creature nods. “Good. Soldier, I have a mission for you.” 

“What is my mission?” the creature asks, it needs to know, needs to know what it can do for the handler.

“Soldier, keep those two busy while I leave. Don't kill them, they are needed alive, but Hydra will not mind what shape they are in.” the handler instructs quietly. 

The creature looks toward the two figures, Clint and Natasha, it remembers, approaching it and its handler slowly. It stands, not taking its eyes off the targets, then shoots forward, launching himself at Clint, avoiding the arrow that is shot his way. The creature catches the archer around the middle, and they both crash to the floor. The creature tries to snap at the mans shoulder, but the shaft of an arrow is shoved between his jaws. It bites down hard, the arrow shattering and carbon fiber splinters cutting up its mouth. The creature whimpers and spits out as much of the arrow as it can, blood dripping from its mouth. The creature is hit from the side as Natasha flies at it, catching its jaw with her heel, causing more blood to spit from its mouth. It snarls, furious at her, and picks itself up off the floor. An arrow lodges itself into its leg, causing a little stumble. The creature ignores the arrow, it is failing its handler, Clint has his bow up and is about to shoot her. The creature lunges forward and snatches the arrow from the air, spins it in its hand, and stabs it into Clint’s shoulder. He yelps, but does not scream. Then it feels a weight on its back, Natasha has leapt onto it and is wrapping her thighs around the creatures neck. She pulls them both to the floor again, the creature taking the brunt of the fall, the woman landing on top of him. Clint is up again, has reloaded his bow with an arrow with a syringe in it, and shoots it into the creatures other leg. No. It feels heavy. No. It can't move. No, no. 

———————-

 

The creature wakes up suddenly, tries to lurch forward but can’t, its wrists held down by bonds it cannot break. It opens its eyes and continues to thrash, it has to be free, it has to go to its handler, it failed its mission, it needs instruction. The creature is snarling, trying to tear at the restraints holding it down, but the bindings around its wrists, chest, hips and ankles are strong, strong enough to hold it. 

After an hour of trying to release itself, the creature collapses, panting, into the bed they have it in. It’s only been a minute of rough breathing when the door opens and two people walk in. Natasha from before and a small man, thin and blond. Steve, that is Steve. The creature feels something, a residual emotion from its life before. Steve inhales sharply when he sees the creature. The creature bares its teeth. 

The man takes a deep breath, “Desiderans,” Steve knows its words. “rubiginem, decem et septum,” he remembered its words? “mane, caminus, novem,” the creature screams. “benigne, donec, unum, suspendisse car.” The creature feels the words, their power, flow through him, bind him tighter than the restraints holding him. The creature shudders, and looks at its new handler. 

“Ready to comply”. Comply, comply. What does the handler want, what does the handler-

“Bucky?” the handler whispers. Who the hell is Bucky? the creature tilts its head.

“Ready to comply.” it repeats. The handler stands and walks over to the creature and opens its restraints. 

“Steve i don't think,” Natasha starts, but the handler, Steve, just glares at her. 

“He's completely under my control, he wont hurt anyone” the handler tells her. Not hurt anyone? Thats a stupid mission, but it’s easy, an easy mission for it to start with. Perhaps the handler will give it a proper mission later. “Are you hungry Bucky?” Again with the ‘Bucky'. But yes, it is hungry, so the creature nods. “Alright, I’ll get you something to eat, you just sit there okay? I’ll be right back.” Just sit here. These missions are ridiculous. 

The handler leaves the room, leaving the creature and Natasha alone. The creature sits on the corner of the bed, staring at nothing. The woman walks around the cell-like room, keeping a careful eye on the creature the whole time. Smart but annoying, its not like the creature can do anything that warrants watching. 

The handler, Steve, walks back in with a box. Rabbits, the creature remembers before the scent reaches him. Then it does, and the creatures mouth waters. With the saliva comes blood that trickles from between his lips from the splinters still in its mouth. 

“Bucky? Are you okay?” It’s handler asks, sounding worried.

“The asset is functional.” The creature says.

Natasha sighs, “He bit one of Clint’s arrows and it shattered. I assume he's still got shards of it cutting up his mouth.” The handler looks distraught. 

“Bucky, why didn't you say anything? Never mind, sit still and open your mouth for me okay? I'm gonna see if i cant get the rest of that out for you.”

The creature obediently opens its mouth. Steve stands in front of it. “Natasha, can you shine a light into his mouth for me?” She narrows her eyes at it while pulling out her phone and turning on the light. She stands behind Steve and shines the light between the creatures teeth. Steve hisses at the state of its mouth and sticks delicate fingers between its jaws. “Jeez Bucky, this has to hurt.” 

The creature cant say anything while the handler has his hand in its mouth without unintentionally biting him, so it stays silent. It does nothing as small fingers pull slivers of arrow from its mouth, even when there are sharp pricks of pain. After a few minutes, Steve straightens up with a handful of bloody splinters of arrow in his hand. 

“There, that should be it.” Steve tells him. “Are there any more that i missed?”

The creature swipes his tongue around the inside of his mouth shakes its head, “No sir.” Steve nods his satisfaction. 

The creature hears a shuffle in the box that contains the rabbits. The box is on the bed next to him, and Steve is looking at it. the creature looks at the box as well but does not touch it, it has not been given permission. It looks back at the handler, waiting. 

“I think he's waiting for permission to eat.” Natasha says. 

“Oh! I'm sorry, uh, yeah you can eat.” The creature grins and rips open the box, revealing two rabbits. They look up at him and he snatches one of them up and crushes its neck with his metal fingers. The handler has closed his eyes and Natasha is calmly watching as the creature tears the small animal apart, letting blood flow down its fingers, outlining each of the metal plates in its left hand in a deep red. It finishes the second rabbit in the same fashion, quickly and savagely. After its finished, the creature takes its time licking its fingers clean as its handler opens his eyes.

“Bucky?” the handler says hesitantly.

The creature snaps its head up, looking at the handler. “Yes sir.”

“When uh, when do the words wear off?” he questions. The creatures brow furrows.

“For optimum compliance, words should be repeated every twenty-four hours.” it replies. The handler takes a shuddering breath. 

“Okay, thats good, thank you Bucky. I need you to stay in here till then alright?” The handler then turns around and walks out the door. The creature is confused. Has it not been a good asset? It has followed every order it was given; don't hurt anyone, stay here, eat. It even let the handler put his hands in its mouth. 

Why would the handler take control of the creature if he did not want to use it? Was it simply to live the rest of its life locked in this room? It remembers that before becoming its handler, Steve had been kind to it, had spoken to it, but now that he truly had control… was it not good enough for him? 

Some of what he was feeling must have shown on his face, because Natasha sighs. “He doesn't mean to abandon you, he just doesn't know what to do. I don't know how much you remember, but he cares about you a great deal, despite how some of us advised against it. It scares him, seeing you like this. if you're right, and this only lasts the rest of the day, you'll be free again and he will feel awful. Don’t make him feel worse than he already does okay?” Then she too walks out of the room. 

The creature sighs and lays back down. If his handler only wanted him for a day, then he would be a good asset for the day. For now, he had been ordered to stay here, so stay he would.

It’s been a few hours since his handler left when the door opens and Nick Fury walks in. “So. You can be controlled.” he says. The creat… Bucky, its handler kept calling it Bucky, sits up but says nothing. This is not its handler, it does not need to answer to him.

“That would have been nice to know before we sent you out on missions.” Bucky still stays silent and continues to stare at the door, waiting for Steve. 

“Winter Soldier! Report!” fury barks. Bucky turns its gaze slowly toward him, curling its lip up. Fury holds its gaze.

“You are not the handler.” it states. 

“No, I'm above the handler.” Fury replies. 

“The handler is in charge of the creature, the creature does what the handler tells it to. Who is in charge of the handler does not affect who the creature complies with. ” Bucky explains.

“Mm, well, we will be having this conversation again tomorrow, and if i understand this situation correctly, it will be a different conversation.” fury says. 

Why would the conversation be different? Its handler would not be different would they? It liked Steve, he smelled good. Smelled good… Bucky shakes its head. His head. He's not an it, hasn't been in months. But hydra, that hydra agent knew his words. She had known his words and he had grown complacent. Bucky was not prepared and as a consequence his mind had been taken over and he had hurt Clint. 

Now Bucky realized what Fury meant. There would be no different handler, he would not be under another persons control, he would be able to speak for himself. He can speak for himself. 

Bucky speaks up as Fury is turning to leave “Conversation now.”

“I'm sorry?” Fury questions, pivoting on his heel to face Bucky again.

“We can speak now. The words have gone, I can, I can have the conversation now.”

“Oh, well, as long as you're feeling better.” Fury snarks. “So, what ‘words’.”

Bucky closes his eyes. He had not wanted SHIELD to know about his words, had wanted to truly be free. Freedom wasn't meant for things like him he supposes. “There are words in my language, that if said by a human in the right order can take control of me, my will. That is how hydra controlled me. Well, one of the ways. As you can see, it doesn't last long, so hydra had to come up with other ways to make me more compliant. Ways i will not tell you.”

“Your language? So you don't originally speak English, or Russian?” Fury questions

“I'm from the alps, if I spoke any human language it would be Italian. But no, my species have our own language.” Bucky explains. He's going to continue, but the door slams open.

“Bucky!” Steve throws himself at Bucky, wrapping his skinny arms around buckys chest. “I'm so sorry, I'm sorry I had to control you, I'm sorry, you said to if you were ever hurting anyone and I promised but I'm so sorry i had to.” he speaks quickly, as if trying to get all of his emotions and thoughts out in one breath. Bucky holds onto Steve as he continues to mutter apologies.

“Thank you любимец, thank you for keeping your promise. more people would have been hurt, you did the right thing, I'm sorry if i frightened you. And thank you for picking all the splinters out of my mouth,” Fury’s eyebrow raises at that, but Bucky ignores him. “Thank you for taking care of me.” Bucky rubs his right hand up and down Steve’s back, soothing him. Eventually Steve’s breaths even out, and he speak with out his voice quivering. 

“Are you okay? Do you need anything?”Steve asks Bucky.

“No, I'm fine, thank you.” He replies. Steve nods and yawns into buckys chest. “But it is late and we have to go to bed.” Bucky tells Steve. 

“We still have a conversation to finish.” Fury interrupts. 

“And we can finish it tomorrow. Right now любимец is tired and I need to rest.” Bucky says. 

He stands up and walks out the open door with Steve, leaving fury standing alone in the room. He and Steve walk to Steve’s apartment in silence. They get to steves room and Bucky pulls back the covers for Steve and waits for him to settle down before turning to walk back to his own rooms. A small hand latches around his and tugs. 

“Please stay. I'm sorry. I didn't want you to leave.” Steves soft voice calls out. Bucky turns around and looks at Steve, his blue eyes peering up at him from above the blankets. Bucky nods and slides into the bed behind Steve, wrapping himself around his source of warmth and safety. Bucky breathes deeply, taking in Steve’s scent, surrounding himself in the wonderful smell once again, slowly drifting to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i cheated, buckys words are in latin, i don't have the imagination to create my own language. just pretend


	22. discussion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sam and bucky have a "civil" conversation

Bucky wakes up warm, on a soft surface, not on his makeshift bed in the vents. He stirs, and smells Steve. his Steve. He was back with his Steve and Steve had wanted him back. Bucky’s heart began to hurt, but in a good way, a way that reminded him he can still feel good, that good things can happen to him. A wave of affection and possessiveness washes over him, and he readjusts his position, tugging Steve closer to his chest. Steve wriggles into a more comfortable position and opens his eyes. 

“Morning Buck.”

“Good morning любимец.” he purrs. Steve takes a deep breath, as if preparing himself to say something he doesn't want to say. “What is it Steve.”

“Sam’s coming over today and I want you to stay here to talk with him.” Steve hurries out in one breath. “I just really think you two need to talk. You're both really important to me and I want to see sam more often, but he hates you.”

“He justifiably doesn't trust me, he sees me as a threat to you and he hates that you are in a position where you would be unsafe.” Bucky says. “I would be the same way. I am the same way. I don't think it will go well, but I’ll try to meet with him. And I apologize for last time, I don't like being attacked, even if it is understandable. But I promise I wont hurt him, even if he attacks me.”

“Thank you Bucky.” Steve sighs. Bucky nods and snuggles back up with Steve.

“Five more minutes” he mumbles. Steve laughs.

sam

 

Sam is not looking forward to this. While he was happy he was going to see Steve, wherever Steve was that kidnapping man eating monster was. But he misses Steve, so here he is, standing outside Steve’s apartment door in the shield compound. Sam takes a deep breath and knocks on the door. He hears shuffling behind the door, a short laugh, and then Steve opens the door.

“Sam!” Steve pulls sam forward into a tight hug. Sam smiles and hugs back; he really had missed steve. “How are you been doing? I missed you.” Steve asks him.

“Been doing okay, not much new going on, all pretty boring. How about you? Have you been… alright?” He's hesitant, worried about Steve. 

“I've been okay. Definitely not bored, at least not lately.” Steve takes a small breath. “Listen, sam,” Oh boy, this was gonna be good. “I want you to sit down and talk with Bucky.” Sam inhales sharply, getting ready to refuse, “Sam! come on, you should at least know his side of whats going on, he agreed to talk to you, he promised he wouldn't even go near you. He says he’ll answer questions you have, but you have to respect him. I understand you don't like him, I understand why, he understands too. But please, just this once, talk to him.” Sam has his jaw clenched, and he's taking deep breaths through his nose.

“Fine.” sam hisses out. Steve breathes a sigh of relief. 

“Alright, come on, he's already in the living room.” They walk to the living room and Sam sees Bucky sitting on the floor across from the couch. Sam hesitantly sits on the couch while Steve sits on the chair next to it. 

“Okay, first question, why are you on the floor and not a chair.” Sam sighs. The…man, creature, thing… couldn't even sit in a chair. Bucky tenses. 

“Hydra would torture me with an electric chair, next question.” He responds stiffly, looking Sam straight on. Oh. Not the answer he was expecting. His was gonna be interesting. 

“Alright then, whats your name?” Sam asks. That was easy enough.

“Bucky”

“No, I mean your real name, not the one Steve thought up for you.” He tries to clarify.

“I don't have one. Hydra would call me Creature, Soldier, or Asset. Before that, we didn't have names for each other.” Bucky looks a little sad at the end of his answer. Sam frowns. 

“Why'd you kidnap Steve?” Sam asks. Bucky huffs.

“To keep him safe. Hydra wants him dead, they would have continued to send agents, I would not have been able to kill them all. So we ran. He was scared, I was… less human, I had been held captive for over seventy years, I didn’t, don’t, know how to communicate well. To him and everyone else, I was kidnapping him, to me, I was keeping him safe.” Bucky explains. 

“Why didn't you kill him?” Sam asked. This one bothered him, it was always clear that Bucky is attached to Steve, but never why he is. Bucky swallows, but doesn't break eye contact. It was unnerving. 

“Because of the way he smells.”

“How he smells? You base whether you kill or not on how people smell? If he suddenly doesn't smell the same would you kill him?” Sam demands.

“No!” Bucky’s lip has curled, and Sam is suddenly reminded of being held by the throat by this creature. “I will never hurt Steve. His scent is just… he smells like warmth and safety. I had not been warm and safe for seventy years, and that is what broke through the control Hydra had over me. Now i don't need his scent to know he is mine.”

“Yours? He's not yours, he's not a thing. He cant be owned!” Sam stands up now, almost taking a step forward. Buckys hands have curled into fists, and he turns his head so he is no longer looking at sam. 

“It’s not like that. In my home, with my species you find one person, one other being that is yours. Not in an ownership, because it goes both ways. I'm Steve’s as much as he is mine. I would do anything he asked.” Bucky looks back toward sam. “He has complete control over me”

“So it’s a species thing.” Sam states. His just keeps getting weirder. “Is it sexual?” he asks. Sam looks over at Steve, who has a little bit of a panicked look on his face, and is staring at Bucky.

“No. There are no sexual requirements. That is completely up to the couple. It’s not even a romantic situation, again its the same as two people who are close, they can choose it or not. I personally am not interested in any of that, and hope Steve isn't either.” He looks at Steve with a questioning look on his face. Steve just looks relieved and shakes his head. 

“Nope, I'm good without all that thank you very much.” Steve confirms. Bucky nods.

“Good.” Sam says. “Why'd you attack me?”

“You attacked first!” Bucky snarls. 

“You were ready to kill me!” Sam nearly shouts.

Bucky shrugs. “I was going to kill you the first time we met too, when you saw us in the car. Both times Steve saved you. I don't do half measures, if someone is a threat, I tend to kill them. Then they aren't a threat anymore, and never will be.”

Sam processes that information for a moment. “And what about Natasha, did she attack you too?”

Bucky has the decency to look ashamed. “No,” he says quietly “that was my fault, I- I was so hungry that I lost myself. It was my fault I got to that point.”

“So you would have eaten her?” he questions, a bit in disbelief. Bucky just nods. “And when was the last time you ate someone? The Hydra agent at Steve’s house?” Bucky looks back at him and smiles, a big savage grin that shows to many teeth. Sam works hard to not shudder. 

“No,” Bucky purrs. What. “Yesterday.” Yesterday?! 

“Yesterday?!” sam near shouts. “What the fuck?! Steve, did you know about this?” He looks over at Steve. Steve gives a small nod. Sam sends him a angry, disappointed look, and Bucky gives a small warning growl that Sam ignores “And you're okay with that?” he questions softly. 

“No, I'm not, but it would be cruel to make him stop. It’s like forcing a, a wolf to only eat dog kibble. Sure, it wouldn't starve, but wolves are built to hunt and eat meat. It’s the same for Bucky, and I know that.” Steve explains with a pained look on his face. 

Bucky is gazing at Steve with a fond and grateful expression. “For the first part of my life, all I ate were brave, stupid, and lost hikers and campers. With Hydra I was…allowed, to feed on some of my targets. The same thing here, if a message needs to be conveyed, or if its an operation that will never be known about, they send me.” Sam is looking a Bucky, horrified. 

He's not sure this was a good idea. For the first part, he was almost thinking this might work, he might not hate Bucky  
so much, but now…now he didn't hate him, now he was disgusted. He leans back on the couch and scrubs his hands over his face. 

“This isn't working. I don't think Bucky and I are ever going to get along Steve. I appreciate you trying, but it’s not gonna happen.”

“Sam, I don’t need you to get along, you moron, I know thats not gonna happen. What I want is for you to be able to be in the same room with him without your only thought being that you want to punch him, because that won’t work out well for anybody.” Steve looks over at Bucky, who looks down. 

“It’s not healthy Steve, how you feel about him. He kidnapped you, claimed you as his own, and eats people. You should be running away screaming, not defending him.” Sam says tiredly. He's close to giving up, just punching Bucky for what he's doing to his friend. Maybe it would be therapeutic. But like Steve said, that wouldn't end well. Sam rather likes his intestines where they are. 

Bucky stands abruptly, and Sam stands as well, readying himself for a fight. Instead Bucky just turns and walks out of the room. Sam stays standing until he hears the front door open and close, then flops back down on the couch. 

“I'm sorry Steve, I’ll try to be civil with him, but you can’t expect me to be okay with this.”

“I know sam. It was a long shot anyways, but thank you for trying.”


	23. emergency cordectomy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky teaches stark to shoot better and performs an emergency cordectomy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning, inaccurate medical procures ahead, writer didn't finish vet tech school so had to search the internet

bucky

 

Bucky makes his way through the hallways to the gym, needing to work off his frustration. He was honest with Sam, answered every question he was given, and what did Sam really expect? Bucky isn't human, he won’t pretend to be one for the sake of Sam’s comfort. And what did Steve expect to happen? That he and Sam would suddenly be okay with each other? No, that wasn't going to happen, not any time soon. 

He reaches the gym and makes his way to the shooting range and climbs a tree with a rifle. He loses himself in shooting, hitting distant and moving targets. It soothes his mind, the monotonous motion, the steady bangs as the rifle goes off. Bucky is left alone for a long while, until, of all people, Stark walks in. He picks up a handgun and begins shooting at targets. Bucky simply watches him for a while. Stark is a fairly good shot, but could be better. 

“Don't stand so stiffly” Bucky jumps down from the tree and walks up to Stark. 

Stark startles, making him miss his shot. “Holy fuck, just give a guy a heart attack will ya?” 

Bucky smirks, “You’re standing too stiffly, loosen your stance and you'll shoot better.” Stark turns slowly toward the targets and repositions himself, this time not as tense.

Bang

“Huh” stark looks at the target, the bullet hole just shy of a bullseye. “Cool.” He looks back at Bucky, who is watching stark as he shoots. Buckys stomach growls softly, inaudible to Stark, but a warning to Bucky. He remembers he hasn't eaten today, and hardly anything the day before. Stark smells good, but Bucky won’t eat him. 

Bucky doesn't realize he's still staring at Stark until the other man looks over and smirks. “See something you like?” Bucky raises his eyebrows. 

“Absolutely.” he drawls. “Haven't eaten today, was scoping out my options. Honestly its you or Clint, but I kind of like him, so you're out of luck.” Stark pales a fraction, but smiles quickly. 

“Yeah, you bet I'm delicious.” 

Bucky grins and sniffs the air dramatically, “You certainly smell it.”

Stark waves his hand. “Now you're just embarrassing me.”

Bucky laughs. He's grateful Stark went along with his teasing, he hadn't been sure how Stark would take it, but this was good. “Looser stance and you'll be shooting better. Thank you for… not freaking out.” Then he walks out of the shooting range and back toward his and Steve’s apartment. 

When he gets there, there’s a box waiting for him by the inside of the door. Bucky snatches it up and walks to the kitchen only to see a SHIELD agent standing by the fridge. Bucky freezes. He thought agents were not allowed into their apartment, never mind none of them wanted to. Bucky’s lips pull back in a snarl, and a growl rumbles in his throat. The man spins around, a lazy smile on his face. 

“Soldier! We've missed you.” No, no it cant be. “Desiderans,” he starts.

“No!” Bucky screams, and launches himself at the man and wraps his metal hand around his throat, cutting off the next words. the SHIE..Hydra agent chokes, attempting to suck in air. Bucky holds the man until he's passed out, then lets him drop to the floor. 

Bucky sits on the mans chest and tilts the mans head back, exposing his neck. He uses one claw to open a small slit in the center of the mans throat, then sticks one finger carefully inside. He's careful to not nick any arteries or veins; he doesn't want to kill the hydra agent, he just wants to make sure the man will never say his words again. Once he's reached the vocal folds in the mans larynx, he uses his claw to cut through them. He curls his finger and pulls out the mutilated vocal cords out back through the slit. He holds the small pieces of flesh in his hand, turning them this way and that as the man on the floor wakes up and starts to gurgle wetly, trying to cry out. Bucky turns his head to look at him, and holds up the shredded bits of meat in his hand, showing them to the Hydra agent. 

“Oh I'm sorry, did you want this?” The mans hands go up to his throat and feel the incision. His face is twisted in pain and fear, trying to scream but failing. “Yeah, you kinda need these to scream.” Bucky taunts. He dangles them out over the mans head, little specks of blood dropping onto his face. Once the agent looks properly mortified, Bucky opens his mouth and tilts his hand, letting the flesh slide onto his tongue.

 

Vocal cords are small, tough, and have little taste, but Bucky savors these. This man can now never say his words, will never have control over him. And he will rip out the throats of any hydra agent who tries. That is the promise he makes himself as he chews on the mans source of voice. 

clint

 

Clint scoots silently through the vents, bow and quiver over his back. He was in his nest when he got a call from Fury telling him to get to Buckys apartment as soon as possible to take care of a situation, so the quickest way was through the vents. He's over the kitchen and through the grate sees Bucky kneeling on the floor putting something in his mouth. Looking closer he sees he's leaning over a person, crap. Clint smashes through the vent and drops down across from Bucky. 

“Bucky, what the hell?!” Clint demands, raising his bow. Buckys head snaps up, a trickle of blood running down the side of his mouth. Bucky raises his hands, and the man on the floor has a small line of blood running from an incision in his neck. “Give me one good reason to not shoot you, please, ‘cus unless you do its gonna look really bad on me if i don't do something with you crouching over a dead SHIELD agent.” 

Bucky spits to the side, and a chunk of chewed up something lands on the floor. “Clint, he's a hydra agent.” 

“He's a what? He's got the SHIELD uniform on!”

“He tried to control me, the way the Hydra agent did before, to make me his puppet. and he called me Soldier, that one of names Hydra had for me, he said ‘we've missed you.’ Who really would miss me but Hydra. And he's not dead see?” Bucky puts one hand down and pokes the maybe-Hydra agent, who squirms and tries to say something, but seems to not be able to. Bucky must see confusion on his face. “Oh, yeah, he had an emergency cordectomy. No more words for him.” Buckys face is self satisfied and amused. 

“You can’t just, I can’t, ugh, were going to Furys office. You grab him,” he gestures his bow toward the maybe-Hydra agent, “and don't hurt him… more.” 

Bucky huffs but stoops down and pulls the agent over his shoulder and starts toward Furys office. Clint follows with his bow still raised. They walk through the halls, any agent they pass gives Clint a questioning glance that he answers with a quick shake of his head. They make it to Furys office without any incidents, the maybe-Hydra agent breathing out breaths probably meant to be whimpers. They reach the office to find Fury standing outside of it with Natasha, blocking the door. 

“We’re going to a medical room, I don't want that,” Fury points to the maybe-Hydra agent, “in my office, and he needs to be seen by a doctor.” The man over Buckys shoulder starts to struggle, kicking at Buckys stomach. Bucky growls, tightening his grip on the man, piercing claws into his flesh. 

“Bucky stop.” Natasha says. Bucky frowns at her, not letting up his grip. 

“He started it.” Bucky grumbles. 

“And I'm finishing it.” Natasha retorts. Bucky rolls his eyes but loosens his grip. 

Fury frowns and glares at Clint. Clint knows that this is probably not what Fury meant when he had told Clint to take care of the situation. But Clint couldn't just shoot Bucky, he'd grown to trust him, and if Bucky says that the man currently over his shoulder is a Hydra agent, then Clint believes him. Clint shifts his bow so that it is no longer pointed at Buckys head, but instead the Hydra agents. Natasha narrows her eyes but says nothing. 

“Alright Bucky, to medical we go.” Clint gestures down the hall. Bucky rolls his eyes again and starts down the hallway, adjusting the hopefully-Hydra agent over his shoulder. Fury and Natasha walk down the hallway after Clint and Bucky. When they reach the medical ward, Bucky walks to the nearest bed and practically throws the man onto it. The man moves to get up but Bucky bares his teeth at him, causing the hopefully-Hydra agent glare but lay back down. A nurse comes over carefully, but not fearfully. He walks up to the bed and begins to examine the hopefully-maybe-please be Hydra- agent, who stays civil under the combined glares of Bucky, Natasha and Fury. Clint isn't good at glaring, so he just keeps his bow pointed at the man. 

“What happened?” the nurse asks, to no one in particular. Fury turns his head to look at Bucky. Bucky just frowns at him, then turns to look at the nurse. 

“I cut out his vocal folds.” he finally answered. The nurse raises an eyebrow and Bucky lifts his right hand, showing them his bloody claw. 

“Why.” Fury demands.

“He's hydra. He tried to bring me back in, so i made sure he'd never be able to control me.”

“And why not just kill him?” Natasha speaks up.

Bucky grins. “Because what is the fun in that? And this way you can interrogate him if you want. If not, I’ll eat him.” At that, the (oh hell, lets just go with it) Hydra agents eyes widen and his hands go up to the hole in his throat. Wait a minute…

“Oh, is that what you spit out? Dude, gross. Just, why? no, don't answer that, please.” Clint mock gags to the side. 

The Hydra agent takes the momentary distraction as an opportunity to leap up and try to tackle Bucky. Bucky catches him and slams him back down on the bed, then lunges, teeth bared, towards the mans throat.

“Stop!” fury barks. Bucky freezes, a growl still rumbling in his chest. “We need to question him, if he misbehaves, you can have him,” The hydra agent huffs out a protesting breath. “But until then he is more useful to us alive. I want to know how he got in and if there are more Hydra agents lurking in my hallways. Now go back to your room and stay there, I have enough of a mess to clean up without you making it worse.” 

Bucky bares his teeth at the Hydra agent but nods and walks out of the room to presumably go to his apartment. Once the door has closed and enough time has passed that he (hopefully) is out of earshot, Fury turns to the hydra agent. 

“So, you and Natasha are going to have a conversation, and if you don't answer her questions, I’ll just have to ask Bucky to come back in to have some fun. Clint, go fetch the man a pencil and paper, I don't think he’ll be speaking.” Fury orders.

“Yes sir” Clint lowers his bow and shuffles off to find the items. Outside the door, he finds Bucky sitting on the ground against a wall. “What happened to going to your room?” Clint questions.

“He's not going to tell you guys anything.” Bucky tells him, shaking his head. “I'm just waiting for the inevitable, hopefully sooner rather than later.” He grins, showing his fangs. “Oh, and here,” he pulls out a short pencil and a couple of folded pieces of paper from his pocket. “I always keep some for Steve.” clint takes the paper and pencil with a nod, then goes back into the medical room.

bucky

 

Bucky sits outside the room listening to Natasha ask questions, only once hearing pencil to paper. He waits patiently for three hours, hearing various sounds from various interrogation techniques, his stomach growling louder and louder as the time goes by. He probably should just go home and eat, he hasn't in nearly two days, but the prospect of being allowed to feed on the man that had tried to control him was too tempting. So he waits, patiently, until he hears a hushed conversation. Then Clint calls out, “Bucky, its your turn.” 

He smiles and stands up in one fluid motion and opens the door, walking in to Fury glaring at Clint while Clint just shrugs. Natasha is standing next to the Hydra agents bed and the nurse must have left before Natasha started her questioning. 

Bucky looks at the Hydra agent, now prey, to see him with a broken and bloody nose an the beginning of a black eye to go along with the now bandaged hole in his neck. He looks over at Fury, silently awaiting orders. “Go for it, have fun. Make a mess.” Fury says before walking out of the room.

Bucky sees Clint chew his lip before telling Natasha, “You go ahead, ill keep an eye on these two.” Natasha looks at him a moment, then nods and walks out as well. Bucky sends a questioning glance to Clint. “Way I see it, I kill lots of people,” Clint starts, “and this is just another hit. I'm trying to adjust to the whole…you eating him aspect to it, and exposure therapy works for a lot of things, why not this? I need to get used to this, if I'm going to continue working with you, which I have a feeling I will be, so… yeah. Thats my view on this and why I'm staying.” 

Bucky tilts his head and considers Clint for a moment. The man was interesting to say the least. But satisfied with his answer, Bucky nods. He then turns to his prey, his target, his dinner, who is sitting with one hand cuffed to the bed and rips the bandage off his throat. A trickle of blood flows from the wound, and Bucky leans down and cleans it with his tongue. The man tries to pull away, but Bucky shoves him down onto the bed and places his metal arm across the mans chest. 

Bucky sees clint shift uncomfortably out of the corner of his eye. Without removing his gaze from his meal, he calls out softly to Clint, “You can still leave.” He sees Clint shake his head. Alright then. He wants to see this, so Bucky’ll show him just what he really is. 

So Bucky rips open the mans shirt and quickly slashes into his stomach with his claws. He has to slice again to fully cut through the abdominal wall, but then the intestines poke out and Bucky has to shove down on the mans chest harder to keep him from bucking off the bed. The man is trying to scream, but all thats coming out is a forceful exhale. His legs are kicking frantically, jostling his insides and forcing them out further. By the time one turn of his intestines has popped out, his preys struggles have started to decline, the man beginning to pass out. Bucky rolls up his sleeves and shoves his right hand up into the mans abdomen, rooting around for the mans liver. Finding it, he grabs the smallest of the lobes and pulls, yanking it out. The intestines and stomach slide out with it, but Bucky shoves them aside.

He tears a small chunk of the liver from the main part and turns to clint. “You want some? Good source of iron and vitamin A.”

Clint takes a deep breath and swallows hard. “You've got a twisted sense of humor you know that?” 

Bucky shrugs and pops the piece of liver into his own mouth. He chews slowly, savoring the bitter, coppery taste. He continues to tear chunks from the organ and eating them until the liver in his hand is gone. Done with that he rips off the mans pants and starts on his preys flesh, leaning down and biting chunks from his thighs and chewing them slowly. The meat is still hot, muscles still twitching, the prey worth savoring. There was no rush, no mission, no reason to finish quickly, so Bucky would take his time, slowly tear through the food, strip the flesh down to the bone. Bucky is grateful Steve is doing his art, he could stay in his studio for hours, leaving Bucky to do what he wants. And right now he wants to devour this man, to stuff himself with as much as he could.


	24. family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> clint and bucky talk about family and steve and bucky meet iron man

clint

 

The Hydra agent is dead now, the only words having been written on the paper being ‘Heil Hydra.’ Now, now the man had no liver and his thighs were slowly following. Clint supposes this man was going to die anyway, if it hadn't been Bucky it would have been a bullet to the head, but this was still hard to watch. Blood was seeping into the sheets of the bed the hydra agent was laying on; the mattress would probably have to be tossed. Poor nurse patched this guys neck up for nothing. 

It’s been a half hour and Bucky is still eating. He's taking small, slow bites, chewing instead of swallowing them whole as he usually does. Clint watches, waiting for Bucky to finish. After another long while, Bucky pulls himself off the Hydra agent, swiping his tongue around his mouth to catch what blood he can. He wipes the rest off his face and arms with a corner of the sheet. 

“How can you eat so much? Should we feeding you more?” Clint is curious, Bucky had eaten far beyond the equivalent of what he eats daily, the hydra agents liver and most of his legs missing.

Bucky shakes his head, “At home, there would be long stretches of time we wouldn't eat, we had to gorge ourselves on what we could while we could. We would eat what animals we could find, but a majority of what we ate was hikers and campers. After eating large meals like this, we wouldn't have to eat for weeks, if needed months. It was never comfortable, we were always hungry, but we could survive. If we came upon a party of hikers or campers we could keep the bodies preserved in the snow until we got hungry again. What I eat here, small amounts every day works well, at Hydra I was given, if I was lucky, two rats a week, none for the weeks before a mission. Eating every day is a luxury I'm sure the rest of my family never had. I could comfortably not eat again for another week, two perhaps.”

We? it had never really crossed Clints mind that there were more of whatever Bucky is. It made sense now that he was thinking about it though. “Do you miss your family?” Buckys face fell, his eyebrows scrunching together, and he nods. 

“More than anything, but they're all dead now. Our life span is the same as humans, though we hardly get the chance to live that long. No, and I cant go back, no one would know me, I would not be welcome. And I cant leave Steve.” His eyes are sad now, downcast and watery. “I miss them Clint, I really do. I don't mind being here, but…I miss home.” Bucky finishes his sentence softly, his hands fiddling with a corner of the sheet.

Clint chews his lip. He's not sure what to do here, what the protocol for homesick people of the non-human variety is. He would sit down next to him but that spot is taken by a dead mutilated hydra agent, and these pants are new. “I’m sorry.” he settles on saying. Bucky nods his thanks. 

“So, what do I do with him?” Bucky asks abruptly, almost startling Clint, motioning toward the hydra agent. Clint looks around.

“I'm not sure actually. Hold on.” Clint taps his earpiece. “Hey Natasha?” 

After a few moments he hears a “What.”

“Bucky is finished, what do we do now?”

“Just leave him, Fury has a cleanup crew headed over.” Clint wonders not for the first time how much SHIELD janitors get paid. 

“Thanks Nat.” he taps the earpiece again to hang up. He turns to Bucky. “so apparently we just…leave him and hope no one else walks in before cleanup gets here.” 

“Should we stay here?” Bucky questions, looking from the body to Clint. 

“i don’t think so, i say we go home. Because you at least need a shower.” Clint waves his hand in a gesture encompassing Bucky. Bucky sticks his tongue out at clint, blood still coloring it a dark red. Clint smiles back. Bucky gets up and scrubs his still slightly bloody hands through his hair, pulling it out of his face. he then nods at clint and walks out of the room. 

Clint stands in the medical room for another moment, pondering what he's learned about Bucky. He'd had a family. A mom, a dad, maybe some siblings. And he misses them. From what clint understands, Bucky has spent around seventy years with Hydra. That’s a long time to be away from family, especially family you're close with, which it sounds like Bucky was. And Bucky can never see them again, most likely they are all dead. 

Clint sighs and starts down the hall to his own apartment to snuggle with Lucky.

steve

 

Steve looks up from his painting when he hears a knock at the door of his art studio. He stretches his arms above his head and answers the door. 

“It’s late любимец, you should be in bed.” Bucky says softly. His hair is wet from a shower and he's in his pajamas, looking at Steve fondly. 

“I'm not tired.” Steve says, then promptly yawns.

“Mhm, well, lets go not be tired in bed.” Bucky steers him to the bedroom. Steve changes into his own pajamas and slips under the covers. He sees Bucky hesitate. 

“What’s wrong?” he inquires. Bucky folds his arms over his chest. 

“Steve, Hydra was able to get in. They sent an agent for me.”

“What?! Here? Are you okay?” Steve rushes out.

Bucky nods, “Yeah, here. He was in the kitchen when I got back from the shooting range. And I'm fine, I just, I know you don't like it, but Fury let me have him, after.” Bucky sits down on the floor and Steve looks at his own hands, understanding what Bucky was saying. He ate a person again, and he is scared of how Steve will react. 

“He attacked you?”

“He tried to control me, he knew my words.” Bucky is still looking at the floor as he says this, not meeting Steves eyes. 

Steve sighs. “Bucky, come here.” Bucky looks up at Steve with a spark of hope in his eyes and gets up, then slowly sits on the bed next to Steve. Steve, hesitantly, puts a hand over buckys abdomen, feeling his expanded stomach. Bucky leans into the touch briefly, before pulling back. “It’s okay.” Steve promises him. “Time for bed right?” Steve suggested quietly. Bucky nods and lays down next to Steve, a small purr coming from him as Steve feels himself embraced by two strong arms, one metal, one flesh. Steve leans back into the hold, silently assuring Bucky that they were okay.

—————————

 

Steve wakes in the middle of the night to Bucky twitching in his sleep. Low grunts and snarls escape his clenched teeth, and his face his scrunched up in a pained expression. 

“Bucky.” Steve says softly, wanting to wake Bucky from his nightmare without startling him. “Hey Bucky” Steve reaches over and gently shakes Buckys shoulder. Wrong move. Bucky lunges up and slams Steve back down onto the bed and looms over him, his eyes open but dead.

“Not again!” Bucky growls. “You cannot have me again!” Steve doesn't have time to reply to Bucky, try to wake him up, before Bucky has his metal hand around Steves throat. Steve scrabbles against his grip, uselessly. Steves vision has begun to blur, so he cant be one hundred percent sure that a red and gold robot with a glowing chest and hands actually bursts through the door, but something did, and rips Bucky off of him. Steve sucks in air, coughing. He looks over and sees the robot holding Bucky up against the wall who tears a the metal of the robot with his own metal hand. Deep gouges are scratched into the robot, then it speaks.

“Bucky, stop it, its Stark, I'm not here to hurt you, but Steve needs help.” Stark? Steve then realizes that the figure holding Bucky isn't a robot but a suit, a metal suit of armor that Stark is in.

“Steve?” a small broken whimper comes from Bucky.

“Yeah. Steve, he's hurt, you have to let me help him.” Stark tells Bucky. Bucky nods and releases his grip on Stark and sags, breathing hard, against the wall with a dazed look on his face. Stark turns to Steve and the face plate of his suit pops up, showing Starks concerned face.

“You okay? Stupid question, of course you're not, you were just strangled. Can you get up? Do you need a doctor? You should probably see a doctor.” Stark rambles. 

“I'm fine, don't need a doctor.” Steve wheezes. 

Stark is stopped from saying anything contrary by a long pained cry coming from behind him. He and Steve look to see Bucky sitting with his legs folded against himself on the floor, his hands on top of his head pulling at his hair, crying. Steve scrambles from the bed and slips past Stark to get to Bucky. Steve kneels in front of him and places his own hands over Buckys, gently relaxing the fists and pulling them away from his hair. Steve puts buckys hands on his knees and softly scrubs his fingers through the other mans hair, massaging the scalp. 

After a few minutes, Bucky looks up at Steve. “I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I would never… not now. I'm sorry.” his eyes are big and watery, staring at the nothing in the space between him and Steve. Steve frowns.

“I know, I know that Bucky. I forgive you. You had a nightmare, it happens. I know.” Steve leans forward and wraps his arms around Bucky, who is trembling. Bucky continues to mutter under his breath, and Steve rubs his hands up and down his back. “Hey Tony?”

“What do you need?”

“Can you make a glass of warm milk?”

“Seriously? Warm milk?” Steve just glares at Stark and Stark shrugs. The armor opens up and Tony steps out, in his plaid pajamas, to go to the kitchen. Steve continues to rub Buckys back, while Bucky has his face pressed into Steves neck. A few minutes go by and Stark walks back into the room with a mug in his hand. He cautiously kneels down next to Steve and holds out the mug. Bucky whimpers when Steve pulls away to grab it with a nod to Tony. 

“Bucky, here, drink this. It'll help.” Bucky raises his head and carefully takes the mug from Steve, holding it between his hands. He slowly brings it up to his mouth and takes a small sip. Bucky lets out a long sigh and and his eyes drift close, but continues to drink from the mug. 

“Hey, you sure you shouldn't see a doctor?” Stark asks Steve. 

“I’ll be okay, just aches a little. Thank you, by the way.” Steve looks over at Tony, who is looking at him with concern on his face. Stark nods his acknowledgment to the thanks. 

“Just shout if you need anything alright? I've gotta get back to work.” then Tony is back in the metal suit and has walked out of their bedroom. Wait, work? It’s the middle of the night. 

Steve turns back to Bucky. “Hey, you feel up to going back to bed?” he asks in a low tone. 

Bucky shakes his head, “Can’t.”

“Can’t, why not? You worried about another nightmare?”

Bucky shakes his head again, “Can’t hurt you again, can't risk it.” And then he stands up, pulls the grate off the air vent and jumps in. 

“Bucky, come on, you don't have to be in there. I trust you, you won’t hurt me.” Silence. “I thought you took all the blankets out of there, you can’t be comfortable.” Continued silence. Steve sighs. “Alright, hold on.” Steve goes to the closet and pulls out two spare blankets and a pillow. He gets up onto the bed and holds them up toward the vent. “Here, I can’t reach to put them up so you'll have to grab them.” After a moment, a metal hand reaches out and grabs the blankets and pillow and pulls them back up into the vent. Steve hears shuffling as the blankets are arranged, before there is no more movement, Bucky having supposedly lain down. “Night Bucky.” Steve calls out before settling into bed himself. 

“Goodnight.” he hears as he drifts off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so my reasoning behind why tony isn't immediately locking bucky up is because he understands having nightmares, and then people getting possibly hurt during them, so he knows how bucky is feeling and what is going on


	25. broken arm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> buckys arm needs to be fixed and there is a misunderstanding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning for stress vomiting.   
> and its Donner as in Donner party, not the reindeer   
> in this, when hydra 'wipes' bucky, they're wiping his will, not his memory

When Steve wakes up in the morning, he's cold. Now, a few months ago, he would have thought of this as a comfortable temperature, but that was before a furnace of a creature starting snuggling up to him at night. Now though, he notices the lack of heat. 

“Bucky?” he says, looking up at the vent. Theres a shuffling, then Bucky drops out of the vent and comes up to the side of the bed with his head down. Steve sighs. “Bucky, come here.” he pats the bed next to him. Bucky hesitates but crawls into the bed and curls up into a ball as far away from Steve as he can manage. “Bucky, come on. Just come over here.” There’s a pause before Bucky uncurls himself and snuggles up next to Steve.

“I'm sorry.” Bucky mutters into his side. 

“It’s all right, I promise.” Steve assures him. Bucky is taking deep breaths and is clutching steves shirt in his hands, and Steve puts his arms around Bucky. they stay like this for a while, just holding each other, but Steve is hungry. He pats Buckys back and makes his way out of bed. Bucky whines but gets up and follows him. Steve makes his way to the kitchen and pours himself a bowl of cereal. 

“Are you going to eat?” he asks Bucky. Bucky shakes his head.

“Don’t need to. Not after eating so much yesterday.” Bucky is standing at the counter, leaning forward with his arms resting on the countertop. Steve walks over to Bucky and sits on a stool next to him. Bucky takes a deep breath and presses himself against Steve. Steve leans back into Bucky and continues to eat his cereal, smiling a little. They stay this way until Steve has finished his breakfast, then Steve pulls away to wash his bowl. Steve has a few commissions to finish, so he nods at Bucky and makes his way to his art studio.

bucky

 

Bucky moves his blanket camp so it is once again above their bedroom. This way he can still sleep near Steve while making it more difficult for asleep-him to hurt him. But while he was setting his camp up, his left arm twitches. His metal arm is not supposed to twitch. It is supposed to be perfect. But the arm has not had maintenance in a long while, not since he left Hydra. Bucky has cleaned it thoroughly a few times since he's been here, but he does not know how to fully fix or fine tune the arm. It spasms again. Dammit. 

He knows what he has to do, he's just not looking forward to it. buckys finishes up his camp then hops out of the vent. He pulls his hands over his face. 

Twitch. 

Smack. 

Ow.

Bucky sighs but walks out of their apartment and makes his way towards Tony Starks lab. He practically shuffles down the hallways, arm twitching at random intervals. When he reaches the door he knows leads to Starks workshop, he pauses, really debating if this was worth it. Stark was annoying, but he also helped Steve after Buckys nightmare, and had not locked him up again. And Stark had already shown interest in the arm, and was qualified to work on it. 

Bucky is still turning things over in his mind when the door slides open. 

“Donner! what can I do for you, please please please tell me you need that twitchy arm fixed.” Stark beckons Bucky inside. Bucky takes a deep calming breath and walks into the lab. Inside were worktables covered in papers and robots that are just grabby arms are rolling around the floor. There are holograms of things Bucky doesn't understand and the music is loud. Stark twirls a hand and the music is turned down to an acceptable level. Bucky stands nervously by the door, and Stark is nearly vibrating in excitement. 

“So, your arm, can I see it?” Stark demands. Bucky bites his lip and holds out his arm. Stark practically giggles in joy. He sits on a high rolling stool and scoots his way over, then takes the arm in his hands; it twitches again. “You mind if i scan it?” Bucky just shrugs. “I’ll take that as a wholehearted and joyful ‘yes!’ and take some scans so i can see whats going on.” 

Blue lights trace over the metal and then a 3-D image of his arm is blown up and displayed in front of Stark. Stark mutters to himself as he spins the hologram around and begins taking it apart. Bucky shuffles uncomfortably and tucks his arm against himself, trying to stop the twitching. Its become more frequent now, every few seconds instead if minutes. 

After a half hour, stark lets out an “aha!” and spins toward Bucky. “So i found your problem. One of the wires in the bicep is pinched, so the signals aren't getting sent correctly. should take five minutes tops to fix, so why don't you take a seat and we’ll get started. Oh wait didn't you say-” but whatever else Stark was going to say was drowned out in Buckys mind. It’s a chair. A Chair. There is a Chair in Starks lab. Stark is Hydra, Stark is going to wipe him, he doesn't want to be wiped, he wants to stay with Steve, he- Bucky is on the floor now, hyperventilating. 

“Please, I’ll be good, I’ll comply, don't take me away, I comply, I comply, don't wipe me, please, I comply, I comply.” 

stark

 

Tony thinks he broke Bucky. The guy is on the floor, panting, whimpering about how he’ll comply. Now Tony is standing with his hands up, away from the stressed out guy with pointy teeth, wondering what the he’ll to do next. He can’t get Steve, who knows if Buckys going to snap. Clint, he’ll call Clint. Him and Bucky have this weird friendship thing going on, and he's a lot less breakable than Steve. So he grabs his phone from his pocket and selects Clints number.

“Hey clint”

“Tony, whats up?”

“Uh, well, you see, I've got this hyperventilating toothy metal armed former Hydra assassin in my workshop and I don't know what I did but help me please.” There’s a thumping sound over the phone.

“Crap, I’ll be right there. Don't touch him!”

“Yeah, wasn't planning on it.” Then Clint hangs up. A few minutes later, way too long in Tonys opinion, Clint is opening the door. 

clint

Clint peeks in through Tonys door, surveying the room. To the side he sees Tony standing by a work table with his hands halfway up and Bucky on the floor next to a medical/dental looking chair. He walks in slowly and stands by Tony. 

“What happened?” he asks.

“I have no idea, his arm is malfunctioning so he came to me to fix it. Last thing that happened before… this, was I was going to have him sit down. He flipped out when he saw the chair.” Tony explains. 

Bucky is still on the floor, muttering, his arm twitching. Clint carefully walks over so he can hear what he's saying. “I comply, I’ll be good, ready to comply, don't take me away, ready to comply.” Oh god, Clint remembers Bucky saying ‘ready to comply’ to the Hydra agent. 

“Tony, he thinks you're Hydra.” Clint says.

“What?!” Tony protests.

“Yeah, I remember him saying stuff like this to that Hydra agent that took control of him. What I don't understand is that the last hydra agent he saw he just ripped out the guys vocal cords, why is acting this terrified of you?” Clint and Tony both look back at Bucky. Clint slides closer to Bucky. “Hey Bucky.” he says softly, so as not to startle him. Bucky raises his head and looks at Clint with a confused look on his face. 

“Clint?” Bucky whispers. “Clint, you have to leave, you have to get Steve, protect Steve, please, Clint please.” Bucky pleads. Clints heart hurts, seeing Bucky like this.

“Bucky, Steve is safe, you're safe, no ones gonna hurt either one of you. I don't know what happened, but Hydra isn't here, its just Tony and me.” He tries to assure Bucky.

“Stark! Stark has a Chair, he's Hydra, he's going to bring me back!” Bucky insists. 

“No, Bucky, Tony was just going to fix your arm, remember? See, its malfunctioning, and thats just a normal chair. He's not going to hurt you.” Bucky is breathing hard, staring at Clint. 

“Not Hydra?” he mutters brokenly.

“Not Hydra.” Clint confirms. Bucky swallows hard, shaking. His whole body is trembling, his face is pale and sweaty, he almost looks like… shit. Clint hops up and away from Bucky in time to get away from him vomiting onto Clints shoes. 

“Oh gross! Did he just throw up rabbit all over my floor?!” Tony yelps. Clint looks at the half digested chunks of meat. 

“Hate to break it to you, but that is not rabbit. There was a hydra agent in base yesterday and fury let Bucky… so yeah, not rabbit.” Now Tony looks about ready to throw up, his own face pale. He turns away as Bucky throws up again, depositing more chewed up human flesh onto Tonys workshop floor. Bucky dry heaves a few more times over the next few minutes, but his stomach seems to be empty. 

“Sorry.” Bucky says, in a hoarse little mutter. 

“It’s all good.” Stark replies, still looking about ready to throw up. “I’ll just get Dum-E to clean it up.” The robot in question zooms over with a broom, and begins to sweep at the vomit all over the floor. “Dum-E! No! Bad robot, that is not what you use.” Tony proceeds to show Dum-E how to properly clean the floor. Bucky scoots away from the robot and ends up at the side of the room against a wall, curled up and shivering, his metal arm twitching and jerking. Clint sits a little ways from him, not saying anything for a while. 

“Will, will Stark still fix my arm?” Bucky finally asks. 

“Of course,” Clint replies “He'd love to. Hey, tony!”

“Yes sir, Mr. Bird, sir!” Tony spins on a heel from where he's watching Dum-E now properly clean the floor. 

“You wanna maybe fix Buckys arm just right here?” Clint suggests. 

“Yes I do! If thats okay with you Hannibal?” Tony replies. Bucky just nods, assuming Tony is talking to him, and holds out his jerking arm. Stark grabs a few tools and sits next to Bucky. “So, all I'm gonna do its take off this plate here,” he taps a metal piece on Buckys bicep, “and tweak a wire about one inch in. Now my concern is you've said before that this thing is wired into your nervous system, so this will hurt wont it? I have anesthetics if you want them.”

Bucky lowers his arm and seems to heavily debate Tonys offer. Finally he nods, “Anesthetics.” he affirms. Tony stands and goes to a drawer under a worktable and pulls out a bottle of prescription grade painkillers/anesthetics. Clint raises an eyebrow but Tony just smiles flippantly and tosses the bottle at Bucky, who catches it with his right hand. 

“So I take two of those and I am set, and my tolerance is really high, so if anything one should be good-” Tony stops as Bucky shakes out five and pops them in his mouth. “Shit, dude, this is not an assisted suicide, spit those out!” Bucky shakes his head and swallows the pills.

“Won’t work otherwise. Not human, remember?” Bucky says. His eyes are already drifting shut, the drug fast acting. Tony moves forward and grabs the metal arm while Bucky leans against Clint. They wait a minute to make sure Bucky is really out, then Tony begins his work on the arm.

bucky

 

Bucky debates the offer for drugs. If Clint is wrong, and Stark is Hydra, Bucky would be just turning himself back in. But if Stark really is going to fix his arm, it was safer for everybody if he was out, so he accepts. 

Poor Stark freaks out for a moment when Bucky takes the five pills, but hydra had seventy years to figure out how much to give him to either knock him out or keep him restrained enough they could work on him awake without fear of getting hands bitten off. Bucky prefers to be fully knocked out. 

The world fades quickly and Bucky feels himself slump against clint before nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> one more chapter! but fear not, it leaves off horribly because i don't know how to end this so there will be a sequel and this may just go on forever and you'll all get bored but ill still be writing because I've got nothing else to do


	26. new york

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bucky has another nightmare and tony has a proposition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here we are folks, last chapter. theres gonna be a sequel cus i hate how it leaves off and i want to write daredevil into this so badly it hurts

_Bucky is on the floor, broken syringe beside him; the yellow liquid that had not made it into his vein was dripping out a crack in the side. Steve rushes to him._

_“Bucky! Bucky, come on, wake up.” Steve shakes Buckys shoulder, desperate to rouse him. Clint and Natasha stand a little ways away, watching. Finally, Bucky stirs. Steve hears him give a low groan. “Bucky!” Steve sighs in relief. But Bucky tenses at the sound of Steves voice, and begins to growl. “Bucky?” Natasha leaps forward and snatches a protesting Steve away right before Bucky wheels around and slashes with his claws where Steves neck had been moments ago. The creature snarls, head low, eyes trained on Steve._

_Two nurses step in and grab Buckys arms, trying to restrain him, but he simply throws them off. While they are getting up, two more run forward and grab Bucky. The first two, having now stood up, grab onto him as well and they all wrestle him onto a gurney and strap his arms down. His metal arm whirrs briefly then rips through the strap, his flesh arm soon breaking free as well. The nurses continue to try to hold him down, but Bucky snarls and shoves them off. He kicks his boot toward an approaching nurse, snapping their leg in half. They go down, screaming, and two of the other nurses go to assist the fallen one, leaving the last nurse standing alone. They turn and go to the fallen friend as well, preferring to not take on the snarling metal armed man on their own._

_Natasha is holding Steve, keeping him from going towards Bucky; Clint is standing between them and Bucky and has pulled a knife and is holding it defensively in front of him. Bucky growls, long and low, then leaps toward Clint, dodging so the knife slices by his side instead of plunging into his gut. He reaches Clint and simply shoves him to the side. Clint slams against the wall and knocks his head hard, then slumps to the floor, unconscious. Bucky turns and faces Natasha and Steve, teeth bared._

_Steve is yelling at Bucky. “What are you doing? Whats wrong with you? Stop it!” But Bucky continues to advance, striding confidently toward them. Natasha is backing them up, trying to keep the distance between Steve and Bucky. Occupied as she is with keeping Steve from just running to Bucky, she is not able to stop the clawed hand from slashing across her shoulder. In her moment of distraction, Bucky reaches out and grabs her around the neck with his metal arm, using it to cut the blood flow to her brain. As soon as she passes out, he drops her onto the floor and now stares at Steve. He tilts his head and smiles at Steve._

_“Now, now i can finally finish my mission.” He grins, then lunges forward and presses Steve against the wall. Steve is shivering and trying to break free from Buckys grasp, whispering out pleas, but Bucky just presses into him harder. Bucky pauses, savoring the moment, before he leans forward and bites into Steves neck._

Bucky jerks forward, waking from his dream, his nightmare. He could still taste the blood, steves blood, in his mouth, could feel it running down his throat and spraying across his front. Bucky takes a deep shuddering breath, trying to calm himself. He opens his eyes to see Stark and Clint standing across the room muttering to each other hurriedly. Clint turns his head and sees that Bucky is awake, but the worry on his face grows more prominent.

“So uh, I guess I should have warned you about the frankly amazing dreams those drugs can give you, or not so amazing as the case may be.” Stark says with a tight smile. “Sorry ‘bout that.”

Bucky thunks his head back onto the wall and lets out a long breath. “I need you to promise me something” he requests, quietly. Tony and Clint just look at him, waiting for him to continue. “If I ever, if I'm ever going to hurt Steve, or anyone else here, I need you to put me down.” he says, face blank.

“Nasty dream huh?” Stark says knowingly. Bucky nods. “Sorry, but I cant promise that. That would mean you wanted me to kill you the other night right? But we got through it, everything is fine now.”

“Fine? Steve has bruises on his neck, you'd be dead if you weren't wearing your armor! I don't think thats ‘fine.’” Bucky shouts, startling Stark. “But I was wearing my armor, and Steve will be okay. So yeah, everything is fine.” Tony insists.

Bucky turns to Clint, “Please, what about you? Please.” he pleads. Clint bites his lip. “My knockout drug works pretty well on you, I don't see the need to kill you.”

“And if you don't have your bow? Clint, you don't have it right now, what if I’d woken up from my dream and attacked you? I do know you always have at least one knife on you, but you cant hold back, in my dream… Clint you have to promise.” Bucky is desperate, they have to understand! He doesn't want to hurt any of them.

Clint takes a deep breath. “If it comes down to your life or someone else’s, yes, I promise. But I will try everything I can before it comes to that.”

Bucky nods. He has a feeling that that is the best he's going to get. There’s a few moments of silence, then Bucky looks at his metal arm, now noticing that the twitching has stopped. He raises the arm and twists it this way and that. Bending to test its mobility. He notices that a lag he hadn't realized was present was now gone. The plates looked no different, as if nothing had been touched. He looks up at Tony.

“Thank you, Tony. Especially after my… assumptions. You didn't have to.” Bucky feels bad about essentially accusing Tony of being Hydra.

“Had to? No. Wanted to? Absolutely. And its called a panic attack buddy, happens to the best of us.” Stark waves a hand dismissively. Stark really just didn't care, or at the very least, was very good at hiding it. That man confuses Bucky.

Bucky sighs and gets up, wobbling on his feet for a moment before regaining his balance. “I should get back now, thank you, again. both of you.” Bucky turns and to walk out of Starks workshop, but is stopped by Stark.

“Wait, totally forgot to say, I'm moving back to New York, and I know Barton here is being transferred as well, and my tower has a ton of empty space that really is just being wasted right now, and if you and Steve are sick of it here, you could come with? You guys would have a whole floor to yourselves, the vents were designed with Barton in mind, so those are fun, its got the best gym you can imagine, seriously, makes this one look like a kiddy playground, and Steve can actually go outside, you know, in the world! And-” Stark stops to take a breath, but Bucky jumps in.

“Stark! that sounds great. I’ll talk to Steve about it. Thank you. Would uh, would I still go on missions, I kind of look forward to those.” Bucky likes missions. He got to leave the compound, and as great as he's sure the tower is, he'd get bored cooped up anywhere. On missions he hunts, does what he was raised to, gets to eat what he wants. And he gets to wipe out Hydra. Always a plus.

“Oh yeah! Totally, like I said, Clints being transferred there, and you've been unofficial mission partners, right? Yeah, lots to do in the New York area as well, so no worries, you'll get put on missions.” Stark assures him. Bucky nods.

“I’ll talk to Steve, but that sounds really great.” So he walks out of the workshop and toward his and Steves apartment. He gets to their living room to see Steve stretched out on his back, a book held above his head. He knocks on the doorway to get Steves attention and Steve startles, dropping the book onto his face. Bucky cant help but laugh, and Steve lifts the book off his face to glare at him. Bucky just shrugs.

“So Stark offered something. “ Bucky starts.

“Oh god, your not getting a rocket launcher in your arm are you?” Bucky laughs again.

“No, though I'm sure he would be up to that. No, he's moving back to his tower in New York, and offered for us to come with him. Clint’s getting transferred there as well, and if Clint getting transferred I imagine Natasha wont be far behind. And Stark says you can leave the tower, go on walks, do whatever you want. I think its a good idea.” buckys looks at Steve, a little bit of a plea on his face. Steve bites his lip. Ponders.

“Yeah, why not? Can’t be worse than this place, and it would be nice to actually go outside.” Steve consents. “So we’ll be living with Tony?”

“Yes and no. We’d be in his tower, but he says we would have a whole floor to ourselves.” Bucky answers. Steve nods.

“All right. I guess were moving to New York.”


End file.
